Author Archives: Steve Comer

All You Need

There is a common storyline regarding depression, or depressed people, that love is the key factor. Some people feel guilty that they didn’t love a person enough to prevent a suicide. Some people think that being surrounded by love is the best cure for depression. Some people think that if you have love in your […]

The Problem With Knowing

A common thing I hear non-depressed people say to depressed people is “you never know what life will bring”. But that couldn’t be further from the truth for a person with mental illness. I fully understand that I will eventually have another crippling bout of depression. I know with amazing clarity that I will have […]

Scoring Life Goals

Here is a big question for you: What is the goal of life? I don’t mean purpose. I am not asking what is the purpose of life. I don’t mean to have you think about your personal goals.   What I mean, in general terms, what is the goal of being alive?   It is […]

Seeing Sideways

I have been seeing a lot of things that are not there lately. I have been told in the past that when this happens, the way it happens for me, it isn’t hallucination. But also two key parts of hallucination are frequency and how much fear it gives you. Well, that’s the rub. In the […]

The Bucket

There are a handful of sayings and analogies that explain this same idea: the straw that broke the back, the drop of water that overflowed the bucket, etc. The meaning of all of them is the same. It isn’t always a big event, or a particularly meaningful one, that can generate a large (and negative) […]

Goal Posts

I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 9 years old. That is also about the time I started counseling for the first time, although I was in therapy for anger problems (or so I was told). The reason I say that is because everyone was telling me that’s why I was there, but […]


One of the problems with the term depression is that it is often understood as a specific thing, when it is actually a generic name. Depression is like the word ‘animal’. You can say animal and have an idea of what it means. You can even describe it to great detail: small, hairy, four legged […]


There is nothing quite like intentions. In many ways, intentions are the most important thing. When we do something wrong our intentions determine if we were mean or mistaken, evil or foolish, dismissive or forgetful. Our intentions give meaning to our actions and thoughts. Our intentions define the depth of our interest or concern. Intensions […]

Easy ‘Cause You’re Beautiful

I am 33 years old. My generation is basically the first generation to be born and raised into ‘The Self-Esteem Age”. Those of us raised in the 80’s and 90’s heard about our self-esteem all the time. We heard about how special uniqueness was and how unique everyone was. We heard that everyone is good […]

The Hot Hand

There is a logical fallacy that finds most of its prominence in sports, basketball in particular (although it pops up in many areas). It is called the ‘hot hand fallacy’ and basically it means that you cannot make an accurate prediction about future performance based on recent performance. Here is how it works in basketball: […]