Daily Archives: March 28, 2018

Hard to Remember

This is the blog from last Monday, and Tuesday. I am hoping today the social media links actually work. Enjoy:   My son is now roughly the same age that my daughter was when I was hospitalized the last time and underwent ECT. The most terrible part of my experience  with that procedure actually happened […]


So I went back to Psycamore today and that went well.  Saw my individual counselor and look forward to working with him on some of these issues that have come up.  It makes for a full day but not a hard day. I need to do my work for school but havent’ been able to see my way to doing it yet.  I am just so tired right now.

Waiting on my youngest to come home and see what her day was like.  Then we’ll go to church and see how that goes and see everybody.  I am looking forward to that.

I think I will just leave everything at that.  Hope everyone has a good rest of the week.


Word Salad

Just curious…does anyone else have trouble interpreting things they hear due to some brain short circuit type ‘word salad’ snafu?

It happens to me a little too often for my comfort.

The docs have no problem admitting meds can cause tardive dyskinesia, but tell them years of taking the assortment of pills have turned your brain into a misfiring skull contained mess of cole slaw…

You may as well have sprouted foil covered horns on a second head. That’s how much credence they give my complaints,anyway.

I know I didn’t used to be this scrambled and it has nothing to do with age or lack of intelligence.

I will never be convinced that 20 plus years of the pharmacopia cocktails haven’t given me Jello salad brain.

It’s just a theory I have but fairly credible- doctors are reluctant to confirm any negative psych med side effect that hasn’t be substantiated by ten thousand patients and an FDA warning because…

Honestly,how many people would knowingly take these meds if told it could make you stupid and feeble ten,twenty years down the line?

I don’t think I would have even given the meds a second try had I known my impending status as a not so proud owner of a salad shooting brain.

I wasn’t afforded that luxury so now I have to listen to things 4,5,6 times,replay it in my head,say it aloud…and there are times it never does actually hit home and register as gobbledygook. I feel dumb as bellybutton lint on a daily basis due to salad brain.

Also a major self confidence crusher is the constant blank outs and tip-of-my-tongue words that vanish or never even appear.

Is this a big enough issue to swear off meds? If I knew the salad could be reassembled back to lettuce,tomatoes,radishes,dressing,and croutons,maybe.

Damage is done though and I know on the green moon when meds work well it’s worthwhile…so I’ll take the salad brain even though I’d rather eat squirrel than rabbit food…

Still..,your intelligence having to be sacrificed for sanity…

Is there anything mental health issues doesn’t take from us?

Penny Positive #82

From An Optimist’s Calendar