Daily Archives: January 11, 2018

Almost Forgot

that i was supposed to go to the food pantry today. Got there just in time to start handing out food.  We had a big crowd to help today but a big crowd of volunteers to help out also.  So that was good.

Turned in my response to the reading today before I left.  I hope it works for the assignment.  I talked about how what ties together all my stories finally became clear to me just recently.  So that was a good feeling and gave me something good to talk about that related to the reading.

Getting close to when we should be hearing about my oldest one’s job prospect with Disney.  I so hope she gets it.  But of course, you feel like the longer they wait to contact you, the less chance it is that it’s you they want.  SO I am praying she  will hear something today and she will at least know where she stands.

My youngest one has a weekend-long church event starting tomorrow, and I am looking forward to some quality time with Bob.  WE’re going to have to figure out something to do together o keep us busy while we have no children in the house.   I think we will manage.  I hope she has an uplifting time and enjoys it.

Hope everyone has a good end to their week and that you all have a good weekend!

Another Okay Day

Today I have been mostly just Okay with the occasional spot of happiness. I like that. I think I would feel even better if I could get some decent sleep. I keep waking up constantly through the night and then having a problem falling back asleep.

I’ve always had a hard time with sleeping. I can nap pretty well but a full nights sleep doesn’t happen all that often. I think it has to do with my meds to be honest.

Last night was really weird because I woke up to go to the washroom and accidentally knocked over something with liquid in it on the back of the toilet and didn’t realize it happened. The dogs started barking and I heard this weird sound and hubby sprang out of bed to check the doors. I figured out where it was coming from but not what it was for a couple minutes. That definitely got the adrenaline going. Took a long while to go to sleep after that.

I did put away some things today which honestly getting anything done is a bloody miracle.  I am writing my blog too, so my days feel like I am accomplishing something.  I’m glad I decided to do this.


The things I wish I knew!

Those of us who live with bipolar disorder know it’s not a picnic. But compared to when I was first diagnosed things have really come a long way in terms of information. If I had access to the internet in 1999 I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt my life’s course would have been altered. There’s so much information and stories of people living well with the illness. And also stories of people who are struggling. Most of the time it falls somewhere in between. But the point is there are people out there talking about living with bipolar disorder.

I’m one of those people.

I’ve been working on a new talk for upcoming keynote speeches. I usually have a few analogies or things that have really stuck in my mind. I have often heard diabetes as a reference folks with good intentions say. For example, “Hey you have bipolar disorder. It’s no different than diabetes. Just take the pills.” I really always and I do mean always hated that comparison. First of all, there’s a blood test that measure glucose levels. Second, a person with diabetes never has their sanity checked. Mental fitness is not a question that arises. Third, health care professionals hold classes to educate people about diabetes. They actually teach people how to manage their chronic physical illness. Fourth, there’s stigma with both but we all know mental illness wins the more stigmatized illness.

If I knew everything I have since learned about bipolar disorder 20 years ago, well, life would be different.

Here’s what I wish I knew:

  • Most people who have bipolar disorder need medications for life
  • Without medications relapsing episodes come more frequent and can become worse
  • The sooner you learn to accept it the easier life is gonna be
  • It takes a frustrating battle of trial and error to find the right combinations of medications. If a doctor writes you one prescription with several refills before your moods are stable -consider finding a new doctor
  • It’s gonna be hard work learning to manage it.
  • You’re going to hate taking medications at first but you have to stick to it
  • If you don’t get bipolar disorder under control it will destroy your life. Of course I don’t have a crystal ball but I’ve seen my share of lives destroyed. I’ve never seen a positive outcome by someone who chose to ignore it

My mother always used to say, “If I knew then what I know now….”. Now I just say, “Now that I know I can teach others.”

But darn. It sure would have been nice too have this knowledge. So I’m passing it along the others and hopes that it helps one person.

I’ll leave you with this one quote:

“There is no medicine like HOPE, no incentive so great, no tonic so powerful as the expectation of tomorrow.”

~Orison Marden