Daily Archives: November 18, 2017

Happy Saturday!

Or Happy Sleep-In-Until-It’s-Light-Day!!  Oh my, I had such lofty ambitions for what I was going to do last night, Friday night, and it all came down to dinner and BED!  I am TIRED on Friday nights!!  It may be psychological but I don’t know, it may be physical.  Whatever it is, I end up going to bed almost as soon as I get home on Friday nights, and I sleep a solid twelve hours.  And it feels so good!!!  I usually wake up at my usual time (3:45 am) and go Hey!  I don’t have to get up!  Yayyyy!!  and I go back to sleep.  Honestly, it’s delicious.  If there’s one thing working has given me, it’s an appreciation for the weekends.

I just made macaroni and cheese, you know, the homemade kind you bake in a pan with butter and milk and cheese and pasta?  Oh and onion!  It smells GOOD in my house.  This afternoon there’s a big family get-together to celebrate some birthdays.  My brother is in town from North Carolina along with his wife and three precious little boys, it will be great to see them.  They call me Aunt Sassy.  It will be great to see my family, but then I always do the compare/contrast between them and me and I feel like a great big fat whale and that is unpleasant.  Most of my family is uber-fit and skinny and then there’s me.  😦  I do not like being so uncomfortable in my body.  I think it’s a combination of my bipolar meds, and an overeating disorder that I have had pretty much my whole life which has now caught up to me in a big way.  I can’t seem to find my way out of this great big body.  My family loves me anyway, I wish I could practice self-love anyway.

The job has been…o.k.  I did something this week that in theory was good but in actuality had a bad consequence and I had to hustle and undo what I had done.  It was very stressful and I was so afraid that I was going to be asked not to come back.  Alas, that did not happen.  Thank God.  Although part of me wanted to be released from the job, the daily grind, the daily commute, which is a bitch.  But I really would have been up shit creek without a paddle.  I have just managed to pay my parents half of what I owe them, one thousand dollars of the two thousand they lent me for two month’s rent when I was waiting for that fucking job to start.  So I haven’t even managed to save any money yet, but I am on my way to getting my head above water.  I MUST move out of this place by the time my lease is up at the end of May, it is a shitty place but I can’t dwell on it because I’m stuck here until then.  I just need to focus on remaining continuously employed.  This is daunting.  Ok, it’s Saturday, I’m not going to think about it today.  But in general, that needs to be my focus 😉

Well y’all, I hope you had a great week.  Please let me know.  And ESPECIALLY let me know if you suffer with weight issues so I don’t feel so alone in my body prison, will ya?  Thank you for reading and PEACH OUT!

Filed under: Bipolar, Bipolar and Work, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Fat, Psychology, Psychology Shmyshmology Tagged: Bipolar, Blogging, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psychology, Reader

Sexual harassment, all over the press, hits close to home

Yesterday was literally the first day after months, I said to myself that I’m finally feeling better. The heaviness, the panic about my son, the anxiety, all seemed to have abated!

Then I went to see an endocrinologist whom I hadn’t seen in a couple of years. He sort of grilled me about why I hadn’t come to see him. I said my psychiatrist had recommended someone else. Anyway, we got through that or so i thought.

Then he put his stethoscope in his ears, came at me and roughly pulled my button down shirt out, stuck his nose sort of inside my shirt, to get a good look I assume, then stuck the stethoscope inside my shirt to listen to my heart!!

Then he walked behind me, yanked my shirt out of my pants, had a good look at my butt and stuck The stethoscope inside my shirt on my back to listen to my lungs!!

Now why did he have to do that? He did not have to yank and tug at my shirt. He could have listened to my heart and lungs perfectly well from the outside of my shirt.

It all happened so quickly, I had no time to protest or react. I’m kicking myself that I didn’t tell him to stop.

Obviously, I’m not going back to him and I am writing him a letter on which I will cc the AMA and send a copy to the complaints department of the AMA.

Whether he is angry or a voyeur or both, he definitely should have some consequences for his sick actions.

Very disappointed and feel pretty bad again. Damn him for taking my hard won peace of mind.

Penny Positive #21

From An Optimist’s Calendar


Very Busy Day

So that is why I have waited so late to post.  I had to read a lot today to catch up on my classes, both the teaching one and the taking one.  THen I needed to get dinner ready early for my youngest one who is going to dance now on Friday nights from 5-7:30 p.m.  Then I went to visitation for the father of friends out of our Sunday school class. So I’ve just now gotten home and sat down to type.

Tomorrow we go to the memorial service for a friend’s daughter that died a few months ago.  She died in New York of brain cancer, but there were a lot of people here who care about her parents who couldn’t go so they are holding a separate service here for her and we are going to that.

Starting a new list Monday on 46ReasonsWhyNot.wordpress.com.  Melinda VanRy is doing her list for the next month or so, so be sure to check that out starting next week.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!