Daily Archives: January 25, 2017

Guest Post – Where Does Stigma Come From?

Well, I have come to the last guest post I have for you on the topic of mental illness awareness and stigma. And I believe it is very appropriate for the actual Bell Let’s Talk day. It is a follow-up … Continue reading


I have a killer headache today and was trying to put off typing until it eased off, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to unless I take something for it.  I’ve been busy today–laundry, working out, going to get my hair cut, going to the grocery store.   I’m ready to take something for the headache and lie down for a little while.  I’m not sure I’ll do that or not–depends on if my classes have been updated or not.

Ever since I’ve been working out, I’ve felt a lot better from the bipolar.  Yesterday I got the idea that I need some more work to do to keep from getting bored, but I’m at a loss for what I can do.  I don’t want to sign up for something full-time and go back into illness.  Something part time would be ideal, particularly if I can do It from home.

I need to write my story for Delta Magazine and will likely do it tomorrow.  I meant to do more with the “Bama fan” story, but I think I’m just going to write it as a straight profile and send it to a sports-themed call for submissions I read about.  So those are two things I can work on.  I also put out an idea to Defying Shadows and will see what she thinks of it.  If I can find more ways and things to write about, I’ll probably take care of the boredom problem on my own 🙂

Hope everyone has a good rest of the week!


Health professionals must fight a Trump administration expansion of torture


Why am I terrified?

“Nobody Posts Their B-sides!”

Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts I was watching NCIS (the original series) tonight. A young man is seen in a car with his dad. They are having a bit of a heated conversation along the lines of the son not being … Continue reading

Too much power

I have too much power over people’s emotions.

Today. I found out that my former friend/manager is telling people that I had a fight with him and the only person to witness it was Clay. Now to make my job harder I have to come into work with people who don’t know how to handle me because they think I am pissed..

Which I am.

I’m pissed because my so called friend/manager couldn’t handle me getting upset, couldn’t defend me, and told me that it’s part of my job to do things outside of my job and don’t worry about ever doing anything here because it doesn’t matter.

Funny when my signage on the board for promos is now being taken over by someone who thinks it’s a good idea… the seeds I planted had started to grow but now they will die because I want them to.

What you don’t do as a manager is tell a good employee that what they do doesn’t matter and fuck it, don’t work hard. 

It’s sad because they are reflecting their unhappiness on me and I can’t be apart of it anymore. I’m more…

Too bad. Now work is going to be really really dry. 

My men

I love my men. They make sure I’m okay. Tonight as soon as I came in Roundhouse sensed something and wanted to be near me for real. He even laid on me while I nursed Bear.

Bear waiting up for me without crying to tell me he was up and wanted to eat. It was nice because I got to see him before I went to sleep

And Bell loves the shit out of me. He jut doesn’t know how to make me feel better.

I love them…really

Palestinians of Syria: A Year of Killings and Torture


About the author:


Let me apologize in advance

I am wrestling with myself. So agitated. Every noise and every light grating on me. Every email I read sets off rage. I hate everyone. In the next moment I am cowering in the bathroom crying. Uncomfortable. Disgruntled. But then just overwhelmed and sad.  A lovely mixed episode according to my doc. What did I do to deserve this?

I think this started last night. I was wanting to peel my skin off out of disgust. I have just let myself go. Any semblance of a workout routine gone.  I used to be so fit and dedicated. Now I’m a sloth.  I curse myself, but do nothing about it. I set my alarm last night to exercise this morning before work. I got my out of shape butt on the treadmill by 6 am.

In addition, I am having trouble w my supervisor at work. I’m trying to get a new job. The environment is making me unhealthy.  I’m frustrated and confused about her responses to me.  I came home upset last night and as a result could not sleep. My mind was in overdrive and I began obsessing.  Catastrophizing. Creating immense anxiety. Then my mind was scripting interactions and exactly what I should say, what they would say…on and on. Agonizing.  I had to take an additional medication to make it stop.

This post is nothing but a rant. No substance. Sorry.  I have nowhere else to go!! well except the bathroom to cry some more. Pitiful!


Tribute – RIP Agent Rosenfield

He may be known as the son of José Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney or George Clooney’s cousin, but to me, he’ll always be that crazy FBI Agent from Twin Peaks and the no-nonsense assistant director on NCIS Las Angeles. Miguel Ferrer … Continue reading