Daily Archives: December 16, 2016

Wild Day

Well, my oldest had her dental surgery and is managing well right now, but it’s been an exciting few hours.  As soon as she got home, the middle one announced she was  burning up hot and was so hot she wanted to throw up.  So she sat outside barefoot in the fifty degrees after stripping to shorts and a tank top swearing she was hot.  So now she’s sleeping off a dose of Zofran and the oldest is fighting sleep watching a movie after taking Percocet.   So Bob’s been running around doing errands and I’ve been managing the kids.  SO far it has been a good combination.

Now we’re all at home watching the movie.  Hopefully no more dramatics. We’ve got a week before Christmas to get it all back to normal.  That should be fine.

Got in my Elf gifts to everybody yesterday.  That was thrilling.  They’ve figured out its clothes and the middle one announces she’s not wearing matching outfits with the rest of us for Christmas. I told her it was not matching outfits for Christmas.  So that settled her down.  So they ware all wondering.  I love it !


Blogmas 2016 – “I Need A Silent Night”

Day 16 Actually, this is not a cry for help but a shout-out to Amy Grant for her Christmas song from a few years ago. It is a cry for some of the peace of the true meaning of the … Continue reading

Swings and Arrows

Monday I was filled with anxiety, but that was to be expected  as I returned to work after a 3  week leave of absence. In that span of time I was hospitalized, had a med change,attended outpatient, and tried to stay stress free. The only goal for the day was to wade through all my emails.

Tuesday I had an unexpected “run in” with my supervisor.  She did not follow through on something for me as she had said she would.  In fact she almost looked like a deer in headlights. She vaguely remembered our brief exchange around my request. I suggested I had emailed it to her the 1st day I was on leave.  She then said, no she must have “missed that.” Within a half hour she shot me a series of emails telling me she did not receive such email from me. She scoured the special email folder she has for me.  This began the email war.  She demanded I send the actual forwarded email to her. Well, I didn’t have it.

Wednesday morning she sent an email at 6:23am stating, thank goodness for text records.  It was through text I had requested assistance on a few items, not email. But, no mention of the billing.  Awesome idea…texts!  I also have text records. Which indicated among the texts she recalled, I also sent one regarding the billing and she said she would email the vendor and request it be sent to her for processing.  The war ended here. But I still felt thrown under the bus. She didn’t admit or even acknowledge she dropped the ball and I had to let the vendor know it wouldn’t be done.  All this drama may have sparked a touch of hypomania. I was so obnoxious and sarcastic and witty and just over the top silly the entire work day. So much so that I apologized to a few people.

Thursday I couldn’t get out of bed.  My body was so heavy. I lied to my supervisor and said my car wouldn’t start, I’d be late. I got there a little after 10. I had no energy.  I couldn’t get my brain to work.  I can’t understand what this unspoken tension is with my supervisor. I have been at my agency for 17 yrs, had countless supervisors and never any trouble.  I feel like I have a target on my back.

Today, Friday, our entire team is supposed to participate in a panel interview for a potential vendor. Its an immense and important project. I am the only one who has experience with this vendor. I have been excused in order to work on an emergency situation.  Confused is what I am.

Thing is, I’m a good worker. Probably try too hard. I know my stuff. In fact, know more and have done way more than her. I don’t care about that. I just think a little respect goes a long way.  I’m becoming paranoid because I have divulged my illness to her. What if she tries to use it against me? Is there an arrow pointed at me?


My Old-School Meds Helped A Star’s Treatment-Resistant Depression!

  It’s another rainy Thursday, but I’m in a better state of mind. The past week I haven’t thought much about being rejected by Team Voldemort. As Kermit and Fozzie sing, it’s time to be: Movin’ Right Along!   Over the past few nights, I read country music superstar Naomi Judd’s new memoir River of Time: My Descent … Continue reading My Old-School Meds Helped A Star’s Treatment-Resistant Depression!

Reblog – Partner Enrollment for 2017!!

Originally posted on Dream Big, Dream Often:
I have sent out renewals to current Partners and have had 5 Partners decide not to renew going into 2017. ?I wish them all the success in the coming months and guess what…their…

I Suck!

I know it, I suck. I have barely been posting this holiday season. I just haven’t felt like writing. I painted last night though. Me and the sister in law followed a Bob Ross Video and proceeded to try to repeat the process in acrylics. I think they both turned out pretty cool.

It was family night so mom in law was over too for a time and we got to chat and hang.

I got drunk last night, it was a mistake. Feel like crap today.

Giving up weed for a month again. Going to see if that helps with the brain at all. Mostly I’m concerned about the paranoia. I hope it’s the pot. Though I’ve been paranoid in the past and it’s all been me, so I’ll just have to wait and see. I know giving up weed during the holidays is asking for trouble but I’m tired of being the whacked out girl too. I just spent the last month high every single day from morning until bed. It’s crazy and it’s fucking expensive. My husband is supportive either way, which is awesome.

It’s remarkable because I didn’t realize how damn numb I was until I wasn’t anymore. I’m not sure what to do about feelings.  I cry, I get jealous, I get angry, I laugh, I feel joy and I feel like I’m spinning, like my head just won’t focus on one thing for very long. You know those racing thoughts? I only got four hours of sleep last night because of them and a headache. I need my brain to slow down. I’m still not motivated to do much either.  gah.




Reblog – Interview with Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Originally posted on Mandibelle16:
Welcome to my first of a (hopefully) monthly, interview series, with inspirational and talented writers in the blogging community. I’m pleased to share with you this week an interview with?Jacqueline Oby – Ikocha of A Cooking…