Daily Archives: December 8, 2016

Giving Away Food

So today was my day in the food pantry at church.  We did really well handing out a good bit for the holidays.  We had big packs of candy-skittles and starbursts–that we gave out to everybody for Christmas.  We just finished a holiday food drive so had a lot to give out. And some big families needing assistance as well–one adult with four children,  a couple of families with two adults and three children, and another family that’s parents with a sick daughter and her three children.  So that part of it is sad learning all the sad stories we deal with.

I posted a scathing response to this week’s reading for my class, and no one has been really sure how to take it :) .  I got so far a couple of “Yes, you’re right,  but” answers and one with a response that ended with “You’re right.”. So that has  been interesting to see. I hate seeing things badly done that see publication.  It makes me angry.

I am fighting the urge to sleep for a bit.  I’ve been so busy the past few days that I haven’t had time to sleep.  I’m trying to find loose ends that need tying.  I need to send a few last Christmas cards, I need to do some last minute food shopping, and I need to work on the last of the house cleaning.  I’m going to save wrapping any more until tomorrow, I think. We need to figure out what is from us for the girls and what will go in their stockings.  So that is going to be a chore for us this coming week.

My mood has been really good.  I hope it continues through the holidays that way.  I want to enjoy Christmas this year.  So many years I haven’t.


Mental Illness Is A Myth – Throwback

This weeks Throwback is from April 2014: My aim in this essay is to raise the question ‘Is there such a thing as mental illness?’ and to argue that there is not. The quote above are the first words in a thesis by Dr. Thomas Szasz titled, “The Myth of Mental Illness.” You may be surprised when I tell you…

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Well I went from absolutely nothin’ going on last week to EVERYTHING going on this week!  I have to preface this by saying, I did one of those moronic new-agey affirmational asshole thingeys this weekend, I took a piece of art paper and my metallic gel pens and I wrote over and over in different colors across the page “Thank You” and I told myself “When you get your own apartment, you will hang this on the wall.”  Well, fuck me.

There are Thank-You-Gasms going on right now.  First, you may know that I applied for a $5000 grant from the local Workforce Center for some IT Training to get me out of godforsaken IT Support and into something more stimulating and might I say lucrative?  Yes, I might.  I walked into the Workforce Center last week and applied for the grant after two weeks of unanswered phone calls and emails.  I filled out the application right there on the spot.  The next day, I got another application, which I immediately filled out and returned. (I swear, sometimes I act like I have my shit together!).  Now, I was told that this grant approval process would take around a month.  So I hunkered down to wait for a response.  Well shoot me in the finger was I full of shock and awe to receive my determination yesterday:  I got approved for the funding!!!!  So excited I don’t know what to do with myself.

And now ladies and gentlemen we pivot onto Axis B, whereupon I continued my obsessive apartment-hunting on Craigslist, while simultaneously acknowledging its futility.  But then HELL-O!  Here’s a one bedroom apartment under a thousand dollars a month and it doesn’t even look like the Roach Motel!  It actually looks…kind of nice!  Trying not to overthink it, I emailed the landlord.  He replied with a Kiss of Death show time:  Monday at 5pm.  Now who in their right minds wants to drive to the next town at during rush hour?  But somehow my higher self prevailed and I accepted.

I saw the place and I have to admit I “got the feeling” which is exciting because I haven’t had intuitive certainty for a long time.  But I got the “this is it” feeling and the landlord kept sweetening the deal by dropping prices and offering flexible lease terms and I’m thinking, yeah, he has a hardon for me, this is good!  So me, even with my credit score of zero, literally, zero, no credit at all, decided to accept his TransUnion request and fill it out, and I sent him an email and said look, I have this much income and this much savings, and I have a $5k grant and will be studying, and I’d really like the apartment.  To my shock, (really I should have been spurting diarrhea), he responded and said yes, let’s go forward with the lease!  And THAT, my friends, is how you get an apartment with a zero credit score and sketchy income!  You get a MIRACLE!

So I went to see Dr. Drugs today and I told him “this is literally the best report I have ever brought to you” and goddamn it felt GOOD!!  Like, here I’ve been feeling so stuck and what the fuck else can I do besides IT Support, and wondering for literally years if I will ever have my own home again, and then ker-SLAM in two days everything is *poof* solved.  It’s a bit to drink in.  So yeah, I am grateful!  I am going to hang up my Thank You sign!  I’m going to keep being grateful!  Because the road from there to here has been a long one.  And I couldn’t see my way out of it.  But somehow the Universe has taken me by the hand and said here, I’ll help you get off your ass!  You’re welcome!  And so it is.


Filed under: Bipolar, Bipolar and Stuck, Bipolar and Work, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Gratitude, Bipolar Happiness, Bipolar Working, Hope, Psychology Shmyshmology Tagged: Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Blogging, Hope, Humor, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Moving, Psychology, Reader

A Poem About What’s Wrong With Society

I think I’m finally in love

It’s just how they described

It’s what I have been dreaming of

For my entire life


I can’t take my eyes off his face

He’s beautiful and bright

My life before had a slower pace

So self-contained, finite


I can’t keep my hands off of him

And every time he speaks

I cater to his every whim

Even if I have to sneak


Some say this seems controlling

They say my love won’t be enough

But he needs me; I’m consoling

To help recharge when days are rough


What a love that money can buy!

I know I’ll never be alone

He is the apple of my eye

My wonderful iphone