Daily Archives: November 30, 2016

Whole Lotta Nothin’

What do I got?  A whole lotta nothin’.  Nothin’ to report on the IT Training front.  Nothin’ to report on the jobs front.  Nothin’ to report on the finding a place to live front, unless you count looking at complete dumps for wayyyyy too much money.  This has happened to me before.  This time around the holidays, everything slowwwwwws downnnnnnn to a crawl.  Now normally when things aren’t going my way, I do one of three things:  I eat, I drink, or I get high.  Right now, I’m doing all three.  I’m like a runaway train.  Destination Unknown!  Can you get there from here?  Who the hell knows!  Climb aboard!  Oh and by the way, just to prove to you that Amazon has FUCKING EVERYTHING, I searched for “synthetic urine” (in case I need to pass a pre-employment drug screening) and THEY HAVE IT!!  Oh Amazon, how I love you.  I think I’ll search Amazon for turds.  Just for fun.  I know I’ll regret it because I’ll have all sorts of scatological shit (get it?) showing up in my Facebook ads feed (sneaky fuckers) but what the fuck I like to fuck with Amazon since they like to take my money.  Annnnnd the answer is they have a Tommy the Turd Toy Set!  And I thought it’d show a picture of Donald Trump….silly me!  When I learn how to be a computer hacker I’m going to substitute Donald Trump’s face for the word “turd” all over the Interwebs!  I promise!  I know, grandiose.  This is what happens when I have nothing to tell you.  I turn to fantasy.

Speaking of turds, my Dad (who is generally a turd) is going for a consultation for a Fecal Transplant on Friday!  Can you THINK of anything more disgusting?  No?  Well read on…. Yes he’s hoping for a Fecal Transplant because he can’t seem to kick this C-Diff infection (which causes deadly diarrhea) and where do they get the feces for transplantation?  They have a STOOL BANK!!!  Can you imagine working in a Stool Bank??  “What do you do, Carl?”  “Oh, I work with pieces of shit.”  “Oh Carl, don’t be so derogatory!”  “Uh no, I literally work with shit all day every day.”  “I’m so sorry, Carl.”

 I’m glad I’m not Carl. 

Filed under: Bipolar, Bipolar and Work, Bipolar Pothead, Psychology Shmyshmology Tagged: Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Blogging, Depression, Fecal Transplants, Hope, Humor, Mental, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Moving, Psychology, Reader

Validation – Who Needs It? I Wish I Didn’t…

TW: Whining, a little ingratitude, & problemas del primer mundo I’ll know by the end of the week if THEY want me! Who are THEY and why would THEY want me? I shall explain using general terms, my friends. You see, I’m not supposed to reveal THEY’s identity, so I’ll refer to them as the Voldemorts.  Here’s the … Continue reading Validation – Who Needs It? I Wish I Didn’t…

Not So Much Today

I need to find a way to conserve my energy.  I got so much done yesterday that I ached at the end of he day and went to bed early, then slept in this morning.  So I don’t know what I’ll be able to do today.  I need to finish the last tree and pack up all the boxes.  And I need to do Bob’s laundry. Those are the main things I need to accomplish today.  So we will see how much I can do.

Last night I apologized to Bob for putting him through the wringer two weeks ago. I told him I should not have done what I did and I was sorry for hurting him. I told him I just needed to know he cared about how I was doing and hear that  I was doing good for him.

My mood has actually been pretty good lately.  Thanksgiving went well to me and all and I am excited about hosting the Christmas party this year.  Hopefully we will have a good crowd. I’m not stressing out over anything that I can tell.  My class is well in hand with my final project being the only thing left to do from that standpoint.  I have one more homework discussion and it will be due next week.  So I feel confident there.




Did you say my brother had epilepsy or bipolar disaster?

Today’s guest blogger is Marie Abanga, whose blog can be found at https://marieabanga.wordpress.com/ Did you say my brother had epilepsy or bipolar disaster? I remember asking my sister that question over the phone in June 2014. That was exactly or barely 2 months before that very kid sister to be precise (yes she indeed had the nerves) called me at…

The post Did you say my brother had epilepsy or bipolar disaster? appeared first on Insights From A Bipolar Bear.

Showing Off

This is the first Winter Solstice in many years that I won’t be sending out my homemade cards.  Partial hospitalization cut into my creation time.  Plus, I had to get ready to show off.


My church, First Unitarian of Des Moines, brings in a different artist every month and displays their work in this lovely gallery-like space—lots of natural light, lots of traffic (it’s the big meeting space outside the sanctuary).  I get to be December’s Artist of the Month.

first-u-show1Yesterday, the curator and her helper got me set up.  They were lovely, interested, detail-oriented ladies who made my cards looks funky and amazing in the space.  I wrote little descriptive blurbs for each set of cards and a general Artist’s Statement to let folks know about me.  Instead of the hoity-toity, deep philosophical art-babble, I basically said my aim was to make folks snort milk out their nose.

first-u-show3I also claimed a little space for my art journals and set out my newly-minted business cards so folks could find this blog and my Etsy shop.

I’ve made cards for our Caring Ministry to send to folks who are suffering, but I’m excited to share more of my art with this community (Since there are kids, I did have to cull the most blatant profanity, but farts and poop definitely made the cut).

first-u-show6The show will be up all month.  For those who live close, the doors are open Wednesday nights and Sundays, otherwise, call the office to see about getting in.  On December 11, there’s a Meet the Artist opportunity between services (10:15-11:00).  It’s not a big deal, just a chance for me to answer questions and be proud.

‘Cause I sorta am.

First Unitarian Church of Des Moines, 1800 Bell Avenue, Des Moines, IA 50315 • (515) 244-8603 • http://www.ucdsm.org

Better Late Than Never

I didn’t want to write my blog today, it’s been a day of lounging around napping and trying to make the time go faster so I’m not alone.

Yet here I am writing the blog, because hubby reminded me and then reminded me I would likely be unhappy if I didn’t.

Today was hard to tell where my mood level was. Not up though.

Mind Lust-repost from mytrendingstories

Can you fall in love with someone’s mind without ever having met them?

As a long time user of the internet and chat rooms…I believe you can fall head over heels for someone’s mind. Those who dispute this are apparently unaware of the bond that can be created simply typing on a computer/device. Especially when personalities and humor mesh.

I’ve fallen for many a mind on line.

I’m not talking about tossing everything aside to run off to Zimbabwe for some random person I wrote six lines to on the internet.

But I have formed many deep bonds on line with people who I truly care about. Most I have never met. This is irrelevant to me because I never set out to meet people in real life. I have too many issues and dysfunctions to fret about real life involvements. I am bad at them.

On line…I am charismatic. Funny. Quirky. Appreciated for my writing, my words, my mind.

And that is what it boils down to. Not leaving your spouse for an internet handle. Not cheating on your significant other because you “love” someone from a chat room.

It IS possible to develop “mind lust” for those we encounter on line. There need not be any sexual component. It can be as simple as “this person makes me laugh”. It can be a meeting of the minds where you share similar ideas, tastes, etc, and it makes you feel understood and less alone. It can be mindless banter that lifts your mood. There need not be anything nefarious or unhealthy about on line friendships.

Personally, I excel at internet friendships. My oldest friend came all the way from England to stay with my daughter and I for a few months. We met in a chat room 15 years ago. We still talk, Skype, exchange emails. Not a single flesh and blood friend I’ve made in my life has ever kept in touch so regularly. I have never bonded to another human being in the same way, aside from my child. This “internet person” is not merely my friend, or bestie, she is like a sister to me. I adore her mind, her humor, our banter, the way we are so alike and yet so different. It’s a healthy relationship even if started on line and continued on line.

Many people wonder, “What can you possibly get out of typing to some random stranger?”

My answer is, “What don’t I get out of it?”

I am interacting with people, yet maintaining my real life. Watching shows, listening to music, playing with my kid, eating, curled up in Fort Blankie cos the depression is so bad…But I can still interact with others who get it, who won’t judge me for looking like death warmed over, or tell me I smell bad or my house is a sty or tell me my taste in music sucks. I am accepted for what I type, for how I express my feelings, express my humor, for how I treat others. How I look, if I squeeze the toothpaste tub the wrong way, if my tone is snippy…None of that matters interacting with others on line. There is no pettiness and no drama.

It’s almost exciting to look forward to talking to certain people on line because they bring something positive to your day. I suppose you can call that “mind lust”. Nothing to do with sex or upsetting the balance of one’s real life. It’s just a different kind of friendship that is discounted by too many. I find it odd as prior to the internet, pen pals were a big thing and I enjoyed that, as well.

My point is…Yes, you can love someone simply for their mind without ever seeing them or meeting them. It’s healthy. It’s energizing. It can fill you with smiles and laughter.

And it is often the only place many of us can find total acceptance and be appreciated for our minds as opposed to judged for our flaws.