Daily Archives: November 25, 2016


So we’re back home.  We did have a good time at Thanksgiving and managed not to eat too much for our bellies. But it was all so delicious.

I’m working on my school stuff and so is my middle one–she still has to get caught up on her schoolwork from being out for a week and do the additional assignments everyone gave her to do over Thanksgiving  So she is having a bit of a hard time.

Got to see my oldest daughter over Thanksgiving and that was good, too.  She is doing well in classes except her last humanities class of her career–Philosophy.  So she looking forward to the end of it.

I made it fine.  I realized my oldest is even more bothered by her aunt than I am.


Bleak Friday 2016

It is gray and gloomy on this black Friday thus making it bleak. I am sans child because rather than spend time with me, she opted to go home with her grandfather for a couple of days. (I was feeling pretty bruised from the family shindig and snipes and them usurping my authority as her parent and was kinda hoping she’d want to be with me…it stung, petty as it may be.)

In spite of being sans child…I kept waking up during the night. I got up at 5, checked my bank balance, support check was deposited, that was a relief. I planned on going back to sleep. Did not happen. So I watched The Bone Collector and lurked around the chat room.

Til the stores opened. I went out and did my errands just to be done with it before the traffic and crowds got too bad. I am fine staying home, binge watching AHS with Bex, and lurking in the chat room. Miss my kid but she wanted to go with her poppy so…whatever. I am sure the two week Xmas break they will all be too busy for her to have a sleepover and I will have her the whole time. Hopefully she will have some Christmas loot to entertain her.

Am I monster for occasionally needing a break? Because my mom went off on me yesterday for snapping at dad that I’d like to spend some time with my kid for the holiday, then an hour later she was all “You deserve a break, you really do.”

WTF. The woman is bonkers. Kinda like blowing up on me cos I called to tell her I might be late as the chicken for the noodles was still frozen solid and would take longer to cook. Like it’s my fault a bowling ball chicken takes awhile to thaw. NUTS.

My kid ate pie and I asked her to clean her face and stepmonster leapt in and said, “No, she doesn’t have to, she’s supposed to have a dirty face today.”

Best thing that could ever happen for me and my kid would be to move far away from these usurping fucks.

R and his wife had a sad holiday. Her brother, 51 years old, passed away due to diabetic complications on Wednesday. I feel for them, that is harsh.

So I have the entire day in front of me and I could be doing so many things but…meh. Yesterday took it out of me, I need to lick my wounds.

Now for a little pat on my own shoulder…I actually put forth effort yesterday to look human instead of haggish. Not all “look how special I am with a selfie!”. Just…With depression and anxiety and barely being able to shower or wear a bra…You celebrate the occasional days you can put forth the effort.



Happy Thanksgiving

Tonight I went over to my mother in laws and had Thanksgiving dinner. It was lovely and the food was delish. I was drunk before we ate. The wine just slid down my throat so easily, you know how that can be when you are anxious.

My niece hugged me tonight and it made me feel wonderful.

It was a good day all in all. There was some Skip-bo. I’m not sure if that is the correct spelling of it, but it was fun. I didn’t win and I didn’t care. It was just chill.

Mom in law sent us home with food stuffs and a couple of bottles of wine. I know what I’m doing tomorrow. I’ll be out of weed again.

Should I get more or just give my brain some time to figure out the new med, let me know your opinion.

Thankfulness, 2016 Edition

A little over a year ago I started a gratitude journal, and today I’m browsing through it to remember all the things I’ve been thankful for in the past year. I am thankful that I made it 365 days without inpatient, and soon after that I made it through all of 2015 without inpatient.  I’m […]