Daily Archives: November 10, 2016

Post Election Blues

A little something I posted on Facebook that I thought I’d share here: It’s day two and I still don’t know what to think. “You’ve got to stay and fight,” “It’s only four years,” “What would happen if all the good people left?” These are what I’m hearing from friends, but I don’t think I have it in me. My…

The post Post Election Blues appeared first on Insights From A Bipolar Bear.

Muslim-Zionist Activist: ‘Antisemitism Is the Norm in the Islamic Community, But the World Will Come to Realize Its Mistake About Israel | Jewish & Israel News Algemeiner.com


This is an amazing article.  It lights a tiny spark of hope in my heart.

Well. . .

My middle child has a ‘viral flu-like illness” but should be better by MOnday.  Otherwise it’s been a slow day.  We are just hanging out. She has been a little more active today, watching TV instead of sleeping all the time. So we will see.\

I have an assignment to turn in for class and will likely submit it tomorrow.  WE only have a few weeks left in the term as I need to be working on my big nonfiction project as well.  It won’t be too hard, I don’t think.  Just revising something over to where it’s more honest and actually scary for me to write.  I’ve never set this part down on paper before.

So very tired myself. I slept a bit before Bob came in for lunch.  SO I feel better now.  I had a yucky night with reflux–I ate fried chicken and had some trouble with it.  At least that’s what I think caused it.

I don’t feel depressed like I did a few weeks ago.  I’m accomplishing things and staying somewhat busy, so I feel better about life than I did a while back. I’m looking at the future more positively.  THis year has just flown by.  WE will see what is in store for us later and be prepared for it.  I feel ready.


Increase Life Expectancy – Throwback Thursday

Today’s Throwback is from March 13, 2014 Average Life Expectancy The life expectancy of those with bipolar disorder is 9.2 years less than the U.S. national average, but don’t sit back and think there’s nothing you can do about it. The likely reasons for the shorter life are: Higher suicide Greater Risk of Chronic Disease Lack of Medical Care Medical…

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More Deviation Anxiety

Me, who is normally ready for bed by 9 p.m. (thanks for sucking the life out of me with tantrums and demands, spawn) and unable to drag ass out of bed til 5 mins before I have to drive her to school…

Was up multiple times through the night, sending text msgs to my bank for  balance alerts.

Not that being up many times during the night is unusual, it’s my norm.

This time, however, it was with cause.

I recently got fed up waiting for our ass trash postal system to deliver the child support checks in a consistent fashion so I filled out the paper work to have it direct deposited to my debit account.

Now, my disability checks have been direct deposited for 8 years, no problem. But that’s FEDERAL.

Trusting my state government, one of the most infamously corrupt states not to mention inept, in the union…That was a leap for me. I just KNEW something would go wrong, leaving me and Spook up a shit creak.

Not even the text alert I received confirming my  next support check would be electronically deposited assuaged my anxiety. Because…deviation.

Just like every month I check my balance first thing to make sure the deposit went through on my disability check…I kept checking all night for the support deposit.

At 5 a.m. I sluggishly sent the text inquiry for my balance. And IT WAS THERE! Yayness. For once, it didn’t get botched.

BUT all the anxiety caused me to remain awake rather than enjoying two more hours of sleep so I was up at 5 a.m., watching Designated Survivor and drinking sweet tea. Not normal for me.

Every time my disability is reviewed and they ask stupid shit like “how does your condition impact your ability to function normally every day”…THIS. I want to point out shit like this. The anxiety. The depression. The exhaustion from when I do venture into the dish.

I can’t commit to planning a meal lest my mood crash or nerves get frazzled. So how am I supposed to tell any employer, oh, yeah, I am reliable and solid.

This mental shit, to my chagrin, does impact every facet of my live, including the ability to have a meal in public or go to a concert in spite of my love of music. (Last concert I went to was um…in the 90’s and it was with R to see Styx so it doesn’t even really count cos that was HIS thing and only many wine coolers got me thru it.)

I HATE that I am not always able to power through it all. That I have let my mind become my jailer. I fight with everything I got and it’s never enough for those around me. Now that Trump will be taking office, I worry that being so rich and judgmental, the first thing he’ll do is cut disability for people like me. Because mental illness isn’t real, we’re lazy freeloaders, blah blah.

I mean, I hear it several times a week from R, he’s always on about “people on wellfare” and “lazy people my taxes pay so they don’t have to work.”

Like that daily assault on the self esteem isn’t a high enough price to pay for a measly disability income.

Point of this diatribe is…

Every tiny thing impacts my “normal” existence and it is no affectation, no weakness of character.

I can no more will myself mentally healthy than a diabetic can skip insulin and convince their blood sugar levels to behave.

Until the world at large grows a brain and comprehends this fact…

Mental healthcare will never improve and we will always be pariahs.

Which in my opinion just shows who the truly mentally fucked up people are. Because part of being mature and intelligent is having empathy and a willingness to understand.

Things we with mental issues already have.

So…who’s really mentally disadvantaged? Us, fighting with all our might, taking pills, doing therapy, doing every damn thing to get better…

Or the so called social elite normals who can’t grasp the concept of mental illness because half are sociopaths without a conscience.


Still Cannot Believe It!

Well the unthinkable has happened, at least for me and my ilk. We have a racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, hate mongering man as president elect, who will be appearing in court for child rape charges, fraud charges and racketeering charges, and who refused to release his taxes, a 40 year old tradition. All this was well known, yet people still voted for him. That’s a story for another time. My point here is what happens now? Do Hispanics get thrown out? Will there really be a wall built? Climate change control is surely out the window. Obamacare will be defunded. Goodbye keeping your children on your insurance plan till age 26 and goodbye for not being denied due to a preexisting condition.

The most important and frightening issue for me as a woman who comes from a Muslim family is what’s in store for me and my family? Will I have to wear yellow crescent badges to identify me as a Muslim even though I have been an atheist for more than 35 years? Concentration camps with trump’s followers doing the seig heil salute? If you think I’m being extreme, read up on how the holocaust started. Disgruntled Germans elected a man who promised them their dignity and economy back. They chose a group as scapegoats and off they went. Everyone concurred, no one said a thing. Is this to be the future of people from Muslim backgrounds? With the election of this white supremacist and every kind of …..ist man, what is going to happen to us? I have never felt unsafe here, I moved to the US in 1972, I was a child. Now I feel unsafe, threatened, not sure what to expect. This country has changed from the land of the free and the home of the brave to a country with a fascist, racist, sexist, narcissistic, sociopathic president who has the endorsement of the KKK and who is being prosecuted for the rape of a 13 year old girl among many other things. Also, totally  incompetent people like Giuliani, Christie, and Gingrich are going to be part of his team, the IQ of the administration has dropped by at lest 200 points. How did everything become so upside down and backwards? How will it all turnout? I have always loved this country, the acceptance, the curiosity, the love, the helpfulness, the togetherness, the optimism, the science and technology. But now, I am Afraid, very afraid, unsettled, anxious.

Featured Blogger: Kitt O’Malley – Art by Rob Goldstein

Thank you, Robert Goldstein, for featuring me on Art by Rob Goldstein as his November featured blogger. The original interview is posted at: robertmgoldstein.com/2016/11/06/featured-blogger-kitt-omalley/. Here I reprint it. This month’s featured blogger is writer and Mental Health Advocate Kitt O’Malley. In this…

Family Night

After what turned out to be a horrible election night it is again family dinner night.

We are all eating and enjoying one anothers company even though we are all feeling slightly lost right now.

I’m sad but not depressed, that’s something I guess.

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday I was watching the election and praying.. prayer doesn’t really help when evil is so strong though.