The Ghost Town


Yesterday I was proud of myself. Instead of just sitting at home, I went to my bipolar group and found some support. We had a nice crowd of people and it was a really good discussion. I didn’t drive but that was okay. I still feel sort of fragile.

I went with my daughter yesterday and saw Girl on the Train. I had read the book and so had my daughter. I thought it was a pretty good movie, but I thought it was sort of geared to women. I think my husband would have rolled his eyes.

I did well at not feeling paranoid during the movie. I didn’t have this feeling of dread that something bad was happening out in the world, while I was “locked” in a movie. A strange feeling and I assume means something is off with my meds.

I have a new job around the house. Cleaning the litter boxes! (We have two.) No one else wanted this job, so I volunteered. Frankly, I think it beats washing dishes.

Today we have to drop my daughter’s car off for some recall repairs. We thought we might have breakfast out. That’s it for me until yoga at 2. I sure hope I feel like going and can drag myself there. I saw myself in a store window the other day and noticed how slumped I looked. Yoga really does help with my posture.

And yes it’s early. Only 5:00. I hate this early morning wakening.


Well, my husband has some sort of cold thing, so we are sort of stuck in the house for the day. I was supposed to get weighed in at the diet doctor’s, but it is quite a bit away and of course, I don’t drive on the freeway. We also had some plans to go out for breakfast and go visit a friend of mine at her work…a department store. So now I guess my day will be not much…maybe going to yoga.

At least all of the cars are repaired and back. We juggle five cars around here and somebody’s always needs a repair, an oil change, or a recall notice fixed. Danny’s car is a 95!…it was my mother’s….so that poor thing always needs a repair. But we have a good cheap repair guy and he keeps it going. It’s a lot cheaper than a new car at this point.

Danny has been pretty polite and decently friendly since our visit to the therapist. He goes again on October 27th to see her alone. I see her alone tomorrow. I wonder if seeing an outside person sort of gave Danny a jolt of reality…in that I am not a bad mother to have. I CERTAINLY have my flaws but I do an awful lot for Danny and so does his dad.

I feel better today emotionally, but still have a sore back. I think yoga and walking would help this. I’m still just beyond lazy and seriously hopeless about exercise. It’s sad.


So I got up at four and already decided I wanted to waste the day. I have furiously trying to think of how I can get out of a couple of appointments.

My back is still awfully sore and my husband suggested the doctor. But in the past, they offer Vicodin and an expensive MRI and then the thing usually resolves itself. So I am determined to wait it out for a while. I can’t imagine taking Vicodin or some pain pill with my current psych meds.

We are supposed to go on a little day trip tomorrow. It will be everyone but Danny as he is likely working. Good news: he got TWO shifts this week. It had been so slow at the theater they are all getting just a couple and the new people were getting one. But I imagine some have quit…and the bigger new movies are coming out. It would be ideal if he’d work 3-4 shifts per week. That would give him plenty of cash and still some free time.

I am supposed to see my therapist today. I’m going to see if we can do a phone appointment. She’s usually pretty good about that.

My daughter and I have gone on a “no buy” binge till the first of the year. So  we can’t buy any clothes, shoes, or make-up. This is good for me as I am losing some weight and shouldn’t be buying clothes anyway right now. It’s good for her as it will help her pay her credit card off. So we’ll see how it goes.

I think I told you my daughter is on to see if she can meet a guy. Oh boy! She has four dates for coffee set up this week! Apparently there are more guys than girls on there. I really hope she meets some people. My daughter can be a little socially quiet. She’s the kind that has two or three good friends rather than a crowd. But they are getting married and having kids, so she’s a little lonesome. Plus, she works long hours and tends to come home and collapse.

I’m feeling good mentally but just worn out with the back thing. It’s an improvement over last week.


Well, the family is heading out for a road trip in the state. We are going to a little town that has ghost tours. We originally didn’t plan to take Danny, but now he is making noises like he wants to go. Sigh.

Anyway, I have a sore throat…I think I have caught my husband’s cold. Our house must be really dirty or something, because we pass colds around like crazy! Mostly they start with my daughter who teaches first grade and then move on from there.


We had a good time at the ghost town. It was absolutely jam packed with people! Some kind of motorcycle rally and then a festival of people who used to live there back in the day.

I did very well on the drive up…no fear. But on the way home in the dark, I got quite nervous. But I did not cry and I stayed calm on the outside. My son drove home and he was very careful to stay to the speed limit. I’ve figured out that it’s speed that scares me. I can go around mountain roads and be okay, or sit in a pile of traffic….but when people are going 75-80 miles an hour I get overwhelmed. I hate going around big trucks and I hate people that change lanes while speeding.

We had a really nice lunch at the town and then went on our ghost tour. It was really more a historical tour of the town. My husband loved the history and the kids were good sports about not chasing ghosts up and down hotel hallways.

I had a little harder time. My throat was really sore, my back hurt, there were a lot of bees around, (I am allergic), and I was just generally tired. But I was proud of myself. I hung in there and did the whole thing. We made a nice day of family memories and I was “normal”.

No church for me today. My throat is raw and my cold is worse.

Our little dachshund, Sophie, is going in for minor surgery tomorrow morning. She somehow injured a toenail and it grows out like a strange double nail. It grows so fast we can’t keep up with getting it trimmed. (It’s too thick and hard for us to do it.) So we are having it removed. Sophie gets so panicked at being away from home…I feel sorry for her. I know how she feels…I prefer home too.

So today looks like a day on the couch getting through this cold.


Yep, it’s four o’clock and I am up watching the news. I woke up a little while ago really choking and having sort of a hard time breathing. So I’m sitting up typing and drinking a ton of fluid. This cold is nasty! Good news however, all we have to do today is get the dog down to the vet and back for her toe surgery. I’m sure we can do that.


Wow! Slept in till six! Pretty good. Sophie came through her toe surgery well, but had to wear the “cone of shame” so she would not chew her foot. It was great entertainment watching her try to get it off.

My throat is downright raw from this cold. Glad I rearranged my schedule so I can rest today.

Much better this week than last.

hugs, lily


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