Daily Archives: August 24, 2016
Sharing this from Infographic: Things Adults Say That Hurt Instead of Help Filed under: Mental Health, MHA, Parenting Tagged: achievement, Alcohol, drugs, friends, gender identity, parents, self-injury, sex, sexual orientation, slut shaming, Stress, weight, youth
Lately, I have been reading a lot of articles and blog posts about how the chronically ill are viewed by others. The problem is not that we are perceived negatively but quite the reverse. Recently I have had several people … Continue reading
SO I don’t feel nearly as anxious this afternoon as I was earlier this week. I’ve been lazier. Not gotten as much accomplished. But I at least don’t feel so upset and nervous.
CLasses start tomorrow. Hope my textbooks get here soon. At least one is on its way. I just need it to get here before Labor Day.
I gave up on my little storm story. The character just wasn’t holding my interest. SO I deleted that and am now waiting on the next inspiration to strike.
Sorry to mot have much to day today. Maybe I will be more inspirational next time. Have a good rest of the week!
There has been much discussion in the bipolar blogging community regarding the pros and cons of different medications in our treatment regimens. We wonder whether our symptoms are caused by our brains…or maybe, and this terrifies me…from the drugs we take to pacify our unruly grey matter.
The debate has largely focused on the role of antipsychotics. Many people find their bipolar symptoms are not controlled by certain drugs: but when they try to discontinue, their symptoms rebound, or they even develop symptoms they didn’t have before, like auditory or other sensory hallucinations, tremors, and so on.
I had been skeptical of the extreme descriptions I’ve been reading, of people literally crippled by psychotic symptoms after even a very slow wean from certain drugs. After all, how could antipsychotics CAUSE psychosis…could it be, thought I, that these people were simply experiencing a resurgence of their own “native” psychosis upon withdrawal of the “anti”?
This study, which focuses on psychosis caused by, or by withdrawing from, certain antiepileptic drugs, has literally changed my mind. I’m now thinking about the way the brain is able to change the way it functions in its environment. We bathe it in a substance; it learns to use and depend upon that substance for everyday function.
Sometimes, in the presence of a substance that is supposed to do one thing, our brain rebels and does something else.
This might explain why a person with temporal lobe epilepsy, as represented in the article, given a certain antiepileptic drug, might go ahead and have sensory hallucinations.
I’m not going to stop taking my lamotrigine (an antiepileptic), because it really does help me feel better. But this article did give me pause, since I also have temporal lobe epilepsy that causes sensory hallucinations.
Jeekers crow, I sure don’t want to have my days and nights haunted by the smell of baked goods burning in the oven, which is my main sensory hallucination. It’s damned hard to sleep when your brain is tugging at you yelling “Get up, asshole, and take those cinnamon buns out of the oven before they’re ruined and the house burns down!” Never mind that I don’t eat baked goods and don’t even have a house, much less an oven. Stupid brain just goes on and on.
Combine that with the constant intrusive music that isn’t there, and the bouts of disabling paranoia…I’ll take my chances with my L&L cocktail (lithium and lamotrigine).
Just not that other stuff, which you will find in the linked article. I encourage you to read it for yourself, and please do comment here! I have some private thoughts, which I’m sure will spill over into the comments somewhere. But I want to hear what all y’all are thinking about these critical issues of what we are putting into our nervous systems.
Who will be the lucky winner of this weeks “Caption This. contest?” Here is this week’s picture: Once again, here are the rules (there’s a hint this week. Read below): Put in the comments section what you think this weeks caption should be. If you post more than one caption, it is considered cheating, and that is okay with me. This…
Like, Totally Cosmic, Man
Thus ends my self-aggrandizing blog challenge. Thanks for helping me dust off some older creations in computer-file limbo and giving them a little stage-time.
On with the Adventure…
Doing away with my personal Facebook account has been great. I feel like I’ve eliminated a lot of chaos, bullshit, and hostility from my life. I probably spent too much money this week, but I also made a lot more money last week, so it all balances out in the end.
I ended up getting a box set of Metallica’s entire discography. I’m not sure I’ll ever even listen to any of the stuff that came after Load, but it was cheap and used and maybe I’ve finally forgiven them for disappointing me in 1995 (by releasing Load). I also got 3 more Scott Walker CDs, including the one he did with Sunn O))), which I haven’t heard but it seemed like a good idea at the time. (Still waiting for those to come in the mail.) I got 3 of The Stooges’ albums, too, because I only have their stuff on vinyl. Some of it was really cheap new on Amazon. And a 5-CD Roxy Music set. I have mixed feelings about Roxy Music, but it was cheap, too. I think that’s it.
On the one hand, it’s overspending; on the other, some of it’s replacing stuff I used to have an sold, like some of the Scott Walker and Stooges stuff. I got a used 6-DVD box set of Werner Herzog films also. There are several of those, I think there are 2 with documentaries, then there is one of films with Klaus Kinski (this is the one I bought) and another 6-DVD set of non-Kinski Herzog films.
It took me forever to get around to watching Grizzly Man, I don’t know why. I’m not sure I’d watch some of his documentaries again. I loved the On Death Row series and Into the Abyss was decent, too. I’ve been trying to talk other people into watching From One Moment to the Next every time people mention texting and driving. It’s on YouTube, last I checked, and it’s terribly grim. I was really high when I first watched On Death Row (there are 4 episodes) and I probably like it better due to sympathizing with Herzog’s views on capital punishment.
Anyway, not much going on here. Buying things, watching movies, listening to music, mostly.
Today I sat like a fucking mess and cried a good deal of my day away. It’s not that there was exactly a lot to cry over, it’s just my heart feels so torn apart for no goddamn reason. My brain feels like it is betraying me and I’m tired.
I hate this damn depression, it sucks the life out of me. I’m so drained but I don’t want to sleep because then I can’t sleep at night. I don’t want to be alone anymore than I need to because frankly I’m lonely as hell. So fucking lonely. No one but hubby to talk to and I have to wait until he gets home each day. Even with my sleep as late as I can thingy that I do, 5 hours alone is my max. Sometimes I feel alone when hubby is home because I have to let him do stuff to make him happy, he can’t just be thinking about my needs all the time.
Hubby did something sweet today, he brought me flowers and a stuffed turtle. The stuffed turtle was the amazing part. I collect all things turtle and trying to find turtle things especially in the middle of the country.