Daily Archives: August 22, 2016

Angels Walk Among Us


Geneva State Park, Lake Erie, Ohio:

I pulled in yesterday, having nothing to do until Friday’s MRI-fest at The Cleve, a.k.a. The Cleveland Clinic.  Explanation later.

Even a two hour drive tires me out these days, so I was grateful to have exactly a two hour drive here from the not entirely horrid private campground where I laid over for the Sabbath.  I had begun to miss keeping the Sabbath, so I started keeping it again, in a simple way.

The check-in lady at the park desk seemed a bit gruff, and I grumbled to myself as I limped out to my camper.  After my grumble, I reminded myself that you never know, maybe she was in pain or her partner beats her up in some way, or her child is cruel or in jail or rehab or on the street or dead, you know what I mean.  So I let that all be and found my campsite, which is a nice large quiet one shaded by a huge red oak.

A little blue car pulled up half an hour ago, and this same lady got out with a vase of white hydrangea flowers.  She told me that something about me touched her, so she had to bring me flowers.  I fought back tears and gave her a hug.  That is the sweetest thing that has happened to me in years.  Years!

Angels live among us, yet we don’t often get to know who they are.

Weekly Wrap-Up August 22, 2016

Mood A better week. Once again, there is that underlying feeling of depression, but I was able to be productive and have a few laughs. Like many others, it can hard for me to accept the good times, because I’m always waiting for the bubble to burst. I’ve done a much better job of being optimistic. I’m usually optimistic about…

The post Weekly Wrap-Up August 22, 2016 appeared first on Insights From A Bipolar Bear.

Internet Problems

Could not connect this morning.  Bit it’s been resolved and I am back online.  I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to call the internet people again.  But it’s been solved, which is good.

Got a  lot of irons in the fire this week.  Today my new oven should come and be installed.  TOmorrow I have lunch with Kim, Wednesday I have a conference at school for my youngest’s dyslexia ruling,  Thursday I have lunch with Jo, and Friday lunch with Marlo.  So it’s a full week already and I may add more to that before we’re done.  My middle one has allergy shots I think Tuesday this week and next instead of Wednesday.  I will have to see.

Good news on the mental health front–I have not had to have Xanax in about two weeks now–once the kids got settled into school, I started feeling a lot better.  So maybe the meds are finally working themselves out to help me get back to where I need to be.

Please pray–I am   looking at volunteering to teach my Sunday School class. Our teacher “retired” from the position last week, so they are looking for someone.  I called the minister of education yesterday and put the bug in his ear, and he said he would call me back and set up a time where we could meet and talk about it.  So that sounded hopeful.  I am going to try to make it as low stress as possible on myself, so I hope it will become  collaborative learning environment instead of my just lecturing for a 30 minute period.    I want to involve other people in helping run different aspects.

So classes start Thursday and I will get going on Forms in Nonfiction. I am looking forwardc to that very much.  I have my same professor frobe m last semester, Mary Miller.  So that will   be nice as well–I’m already familiar with her style and how she teaches,

A lot of things going on .  But in a good way.


My National Holiday

IMG_0840Is it really that time of year again?  Seems like I just celebrated my favorite holiday.  Oh, that’s right—I only rearranged my Pretend Boyfriend Gallery after painting my bedroom so that every day can be Richard Armitage Day.

I can be a tad less stalk-y today and just wish him a happy birthday.

Hopefully, the 2016 Armitage Drought is near an end.  No sightings since his creepy portrayal of The Red Dragon in “Hannibal.”  Lots of projects are finished, but either in post-production or on some shelf in Wonderland.

Or, like Urban and the Shed Crew, released everywhere but here.

Shed Crew

florenceIf we pay money to hear Meryl Streep sing badly, wouldn’t American audiences be captivated by a former social worker who takes street kids under his wing?  All that hope and feel-goodness?  Maybe Richard should have sung badly in that one.

Then, there’s Berlin Station, a 10 episode CIA series due this fall on EPIX.  EPIX.  What the flugelhorn is EPIX?  But look at all the great people in this series!  I will be breaking into someone’s house who has cable.  Scouting possibilities now.

fotos Berlin Station

Someday I’ll see him play Chloe Moretz’s dad in Brain on Fire, about a young woman slipping into insanity.  Hmm.  Richard.  Crazy girl.  Sounds familiar.

Brain on Fire

And if there is any mercy or compassion in the Universe, I’ll get to watch him don armor and take off on another noble quest.


But until I can sit in the dark with him again, all I can do is wait, surround myself with his former glories, and remember London.Crucible cast

Richard 2016And I can wish him well — which I do.  It’s the one part of our relationship that’s not pretend.


30 Days of Sandy Sue Altered: 28

Family Dynamics

Hardest Adjustment

Matters of the Heart

Big Brother

Turquoise Mom & Baby

(This is one of the first cards I ever made.  So simple.)

Steady as Iron

Mothers Day 2012

Complex Man

7 Ways to Beat Depression

Those of us who struggle with depression know the battle ebbs and flows.  Some days and weeks may go by without a symptom popping up.  Other times symptoms will hang on making everything you try to do more difficult.

I started thinking about ways I beat depression.  Truly this list is how I cope and it works well for me.

7 Ways to beat depression

1.  Let Yourself Be Inspired

I make it a habit to find and read or watch inspiring stories of people who have overcome huge hurdles.  I recently read about Bryan Anderson, an Iraq War Vet who is a triple amputee.  He lost his limbs from a roadside bomb in his second tour in Iraq.

Bryan has a will to live and amazes me with his enduring adventurous spirit.  Without legs and only one arm he snowboards, skateboards and drives a car.  This man is an inspiration.

When I read about people like Bryan I get really enthused about overcoming my challenges.  It is my fuel for the fight against depression.  Someone else is living well inspite challenges and that is an example I can follow.

2.  Help Someone Else

There is great healing in lending a hand to a person in need.  It does not have to be a headline garnering event it can be as simple as giving someone a ride to the grocery store.  Helping others is a two fold gift – everyone benefits and spirits get lifted.  Peer support groups are great ways to help support others.

3.  Pray Frequently

Most people I have read about who have had their share of challenges and then some talk about their faith in God.  I know praying has helped me find strength and after I attend church I am filled up with the power of the Holy Spirit.  I just love to say those words, “Dear God can you help me.”

4.  Get a Pet

I can’t say enough good things about having a pet or two.  I have had dogs for over 25 years and I can tell you my dogs were my therapy and my best friends.  They brought me joy, motivated me when I needed a reason to get out of bed.  And always greeted me with enthusiasm.  Pets aren’t the ones who need rescued it’s us humans who do.

5.  Take a Short Walk

We all know that ideally exercise is one of the best things you can to combat depression.  But the fact is it might be hard to motivate for the big walk or gym membership.  But taking a short walk can be easily attainable and even that short amount of time is nature works out really well.  I am a big believer that a little something is better than a lot of nothing.

6.  Have coffee with a friend

As much as I love social media I am still a big believer in the power of personal touch.  Just a short one hour date with a person you have a connection with can be a world of good.  Beats staying isolated.

7.  Teach Someone What You Learned

There is no greater gift that share a lesson that may not have been something that made you feel proud.  But maybe that lesson was so powerful it helps change another person’s life.  Don’t be afraid to teach the uncomfortable lesson the value will far exceed the risk.


Things are a bit calmer after deactivating my Facebook, but that still doesn’t solve the larger problem that I am in a situation that I cannot cope with. The corticosteroids exacerbate the bipolar disorder to the point where I have trouble coping from one minute to the next, and yet, there is no easy solution, because (1) no other drugs help with the skin, and (2) the adrenal insufficiency means I can’t stop taking the ‘roids, anyway.

Additionally, I’m back at a point where time seems to be moving very quickly. I blink and suddenly 2 weeks have passed. I have trouble making necessary phone calls, making doctor appointments, filling out paperwork. And I have trouble communicating all this to doctors.

Out Of Weed

As of this afternoon I am out of weed until October, who knows I might even feel comfortable enough to avoid getting it then. I’m depressed but we all saw that coming didn’t we.  I could watch it happening and still the need to smoke overcame any want to get better, until now that is.

I am having a serious lack of motivation but have been playing WoW.