Currently I am taking pristiq which your insurance has to basically approve. I’ve been on it for over a year now and I went to switch pharmacies to something closer to home and the insurance denied my pills. They are like 650 dollars if they are not covered and frankly not worth it. I’m getting off of it as soon as possible. I need to get pills from my shrink to actually go off it and I’m down to six pills.
Last night was a load of fun, me and SiL hung out and watched some TV together, had long conversations and a few beers. I love that girl.
Hubby joined us as we explored the house that is being built next door. It reminded me of being a kid it was fun.
I know a few sets of identical twins, and oddly enough a few of my friends from high school and college have recently had twins. And I have always had this question: Why aren’t they identical? Usually when they are young it is very difficult to tell them apart, but as they age they generally […]
(In which I rant about the glass being half full or half empty)
There has been depression, marital distress, and other stuff happening. None of which I felt like blogging about particularly. So I revert back to the daily prompt document I have. The silly prompt for the day I checked (almost a week ago) was "Is the glass half-full, or half-empty?"
This question has been percolating/swirling/brewing in my mind for a while. For someone who experiences depression on a regular basis, this is a ridiculous question. The glass is half-empty obviously. But that doesn't even begin to capture what is really going on with that glass. That glass is filling up with a black ink. No ink is way too clean and leaves the water ore or less intact. It's a thick black sludge. It's polluting that crystal clear water. It's starting to corrode that glass. You've got no choice but to drink that shit. Drink it down. It's disgusting. You hate it. You need to keep a happy face the whole time as it destroys your insides. All you want to do is to go to bed to somehow deal with the after effects of that crap. But you can't... you're supposed to go about your daily business while the rest of the world wonders whether the glass is half full or half empty.
Ate out with Holly today and had a good talk. Her new marriage is going well and I am so thankful to hear that. We also decided we’re going to start moving my hair color to a reddish brown instead of the heavy dark brown it is right now. I saw a girl in the shop with the exact hair color I have been thinking about for years, and pointed her out to Holly and asked if my hair would do that. SHe said she would change the formulation of my color and we’d work up to it gradually. SO I will be having a change and see how I like it.
Getting ready for the dance recital tomorrow night. Tonight is the rehearsal so we will be going to that. The girls both rehearse at about the same time this year, so we will all go out to eat tonight and go to the rehearsal. Hopefully it will be a little more bearable for me to have Bob there; I’ll have him to talk to and hang out with.
I’m so glad for both my old and new friends. We have good times when we get together and just talk and eat. Going to hold off on it during the summer since I’ll be running around with the kids so much. But we will see how it goes. I start class June 1 and am looking forward to that. I just feel so hopeful about life in general this summer. I’m glad of that.
Originally posted on Take a Ride on My Mood Swing: (I like the 6:57 point where it compares what the country spends on war vs how little goes toward assistance for the poor. Less than 10% taxes used on needy families vs over 700 billion on war.) Even if you are not on disability or…
Ready. Set. Sail! Gather ’round tribe. Today good o’l Jess is about to dump some knowledge on you. Wanna be treated better? Wanna feel better about yourself? Wanna make a difference? Then sit back and grab a nice cold beverage and listen up. Today is the day we fight back. Today is the day we… More 5 Rules To End Bipolar Stigma Once And For All
Today’s Throwback Thursday is from May 6, 2008 I Kant Spell I won the 5th grade spelling bee. Of course, it’s one of my proudest achievements in life. I continued to be a very good speller up until now. Suddenly over the past couple of months I’m having a strange problem with my spelling. Suddenly […]
I started getting sick late last week with what seemed like a standard cold. Both my girls had recently suffered bouts of walking pneumonia, so to rule that out, I went to see my doctor on Monday. She’s a great, down-to-earth physician and she has the perfect doctor name: Dr. Riddle. True to her … Continue reading These Boots Are Made for Walkin’…Pneumonia→
(I like the 6:57 point where it compares what the country spends on war vs how little goes toward assistance for the poor. Less than 10% taxes used on needy families vs over 700 billion on war.)
Even if you are not on disability or food stamps…This video offers an enlightened view of those of us who are.
Am I going to claim everyone on disability is actually deserving? Nope. I have watched my whole life when slackers claiming injuries collect disability, all the while doing everything they claim they can’t do at a job. I have watched people get disability pay and spend it all on partying.
Same for food stamps. *Some* people do work the system and it is wrong and maddening.
It is unfair and cruel to lump ALL recipients into this category. Do you know our personal situation? Do you know us personally?
The fact is, I NEVER wanted to be on disability or food stamps. All my life my father criticized people who were, calling it “nitwit pensions” and “free food day”. I was stigmatized out of the gate. To end up here, knowing what my own father thinks…It was a fall from grace.
But it was a fall with legitimate medical causes. I AM disabled. The one thing employers want is stability and I can’t even predict what my mind state will be two hours from now. I can’t offer that level of stability, never could. I have seen multiple doctors who all agree. So while some might view a disability check as “the gravy train”…I can assure you, it’s not. You feel lousy about yourself. When you fail to recover time and again and become what is demanded of you…You lose faith in yourself. That “free money” comes with a cost of its own. Many of us have zero choice, though. Seriously, living on the street or collecting disability multiple sources say you are legitimately eligible for. What would YOU do? Especially with a child(ren).
I never used to be self conscious about using a Link card (food stamp). Then the donor came along and worked at a convenience store and he would come home day after day bitching about what people spent their benefits on. Looking down on anyone who received Link. Calling them derogatory needs. Sure, some abuse the system.Some waste it on crap food. Not all of us do.
Now every time I buy food using my card, I look around, waiting for some idget to judge me for having a bag of chips in the cart. It’s not right. People should mind their own business, yet as that video shows…They don’t.
It pisses me off.
Point being…Don’t judge unless you know the circumstances. (And for fuck’s sake, if you are gonna be an asshole like the woman above, don’t do it in front of someone’s kids, you’re a monster!) Give us the benefit of the doubt.
And know that harsh as you may judge us…We judge ourselves much harsher. We are trying. That is all anyone can do.
For anyone this post offends…I’ll take a job any time. IF you can follow the Americans with Disability Act and provide me with mental health days, mental breakdown days, paranoid anxiety days, and an inability to leave the house and deal with crowds job. If not…
I may be on disability and food stamps but at the end of the day..I am a decent person.
If you’re too busy being judgmental and superior…You’re not a good person.
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