Daily Archives: May 14, 2016

Just Another Quiet Saturday?

Ya, right! But honestly, I like the noise and organized chaos that is our weekends. The only problem is it can trigger fibrofog and even headaches. I woke up three times this morning. At 8:30 the alarm went off to … Continue reading

Reblog – Ride wit me?

Originally posted on The Self-Actualized Life:
I’m going to try to add the video from whatever song title I’m using. It doesn’t always work because I’m basically a the computer village idiot, maybe one step above. You see when I…

Small Suicide List

*these are the songs I listen to when I am feeling suicidal and they usually bring me out of it* It’s not a list to play while you kill yourself. Call someone for help if you are feeling that way and can’t get out of it.

Switchfoot – Meant to Live

Three Days Grace – Never Too Late, Pain

Breaking Benjamin – Close to Heaven

Seether – Broken Featuring Amy Lee

Skillet – Awake and Alive

Give them a listen and see what you think, it’s just a few I would have to put way more effort into the whole list. I’m still creating it on pandora.

Reblog – How do You Speak to Your Child?

Originally posted on Dr Gulara Vincent:
Last night, I read an inspiring story about Thomas Edison on Facebook. It made me cry, and I’m not entirely sure what this story touched in me. The story went like this. One day,…

Change Up

Here we go—my psych nurse practitioner wants to change up my med routine a little bit. We’re decreasing the Zyprexa from 7.5 mg to 5 mg, and adding a dose of Geodon in the morning. The goal is to eventually get off the vitamin Z and use it only as a PRN if/when I start getting flaky around the edges. In theory, this will not only reduce my medication burden but also allow me to (hopefully) get and keep my blood sugars under control and lose a few pounds to boot.

I’m actually OK with this, in fact, I’m kind of excited. I really would like to be on fewer medications, even though the Zyprexa has been the glue that holds me together and I’m admittedly nervous about lowering the dose. I remember awhile back trying to reduce from 5 mg to 3.75 mg, and I was a mess. But then, I wasn’t in as good a shape as I am now, and with the corresponding boost in Geodon I might not even notice it.

Maybe now I won’t be so groggy in the mornings; I can sleep 6 hours or 10 hours and still have the same amount of trouble waking up. I don’t go back to sleep on the toilet anymore, but it still takes me till about noon to be fully functional under the best of circumstances. I’m just glad I don’t need to be anywhere at 8 AM like I did when I worked. I remember falling asleep at my desk more than once when I first started taking Z, back when I was working for the state, which I’m sure impressed no one.

But what I’m really hoping for as a result of this med change is less flattening of my emotions. I’ve been back to whatever passes for “normal” for a couple of weeks, and this state is what makes me long for hypomania…which is dangerous! It’s good to be on an even keel, but I think I can stay that way without being quite so…well, flat. There needs to be at least a little excitement in life, don’t you think?

Of course, it could all go the other way and I end up depressed, which is what happened the last time I tried decreasing the Zyprexa, but my circumstances were a lot different at that time and I was in the depths anyway. Back then, I was in the process of looking pointlessly for a job, losing my home and lifestyle, and being sick on top of it all. Now there couldn’t be a better time to experiment with meds, and I’m doing it under the supervision of my NP, who is even more persuasive than Dr. Awesomesauce when it comes to adjustments.

We’ll see how it turns out. Wish me luck!




17 years passed between these pictures!

And 27 years between these!