Sexual orientation

This is a reaction to reading this article:

I find these articles interesting partly because of my own internalized biphobia, which I think I am getting over, but I was certainly in denial about for many years. I can remember being attracted to girls long before I ever had a crush on a boy in school. So I figure either I had my own internalized homophobia or biphobia, or I also just believed bisexuals didn’t exist. Of course, being on medications that erased anything resembling attraction or libido also complicated matters so that I identified as asexual for several years.

I don’t really think I could do relationships, and if I could, I certainly wouldn’t be in a rush to do so any time soon, but in theory I would like to have some idea of my orientation eventually.

“It’s just a phase.”

Translation: “I know your sexuality better than you do.”

As for the article, I have told myself #1: “It’s just a phase.” I figured if men weren’t interested in me, maybe I was “settling” for women. I now think that was a horrible and homophobic thing to say.

I also had the additional problem of thinking yes, maybe other people *do* know my sexuality better than I do! Because I sure as hell didn’t know much about it.

3. “You have to like one more than the other.”

Translation: “Stop being greedy; you can’t like both genders equally.”

#3: Yes, that too, and that’s part of the reason I didn’t use the word “bisexual” for a long time: I’m not attracted to equal numbers of men and women. I figured if I was attracted to men more often, maybe I was really heterosexual and confused or something.

The other ones don’t apply to me. Since I never really told much of anyone, I never had to deal with any of the stigma of people thinking I was promiscuous or whatever. In fact, since I am perpetually single, I’m pretty sure no one would think of me as promiscuous at all (I’m pretty sure people think of me as celibate and/or asexual).

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