Life in Limbo

palm sunday

For those of you who celebrate, it’s Palm Sunday this week. Hard to believe it’s almost Easter. Where has this month gone? I know that Easter is early this year, but WOW!

I saw my pdoc yesterday and got bumped to 1.5 of Rexulti. That’s up from 1.0. A couple of good things are happening on this new drug: one is a lack of depression and the other is weight loss. I lost three pounds last week and I’m not starving all of the time.  I’m not having any negative side effects that I know of. It seems like a pretty decent drug. But there’s always a caveat with these drugs: sometimes they only work for a few months. Anyway, that has been my experience with various forms of meds.

So while I’m not looking for Rexulti to solve all of my problems permanently, it is a nice respite to not feel depressed. I think I actually feel quite normal, although I think I tend to get teary at any slight little thing. I almost cried in a restaurant yesterday because my friend was having such a hard time. And I know I would collapse into tears in my therapist’s office when we got to talking. I am just emotional.

My daughter (who is a teacher, if you are a new reader) is on spring break this week and I have spent a lot of time with her. We started in on Saturday by doing yoga together. I think my spine is permanently in a twist. On Sunday, my husband and I went to church and then we were all supposed to pick out a new quilt for our bed. This doesn’t seem very hard, but we actually could not find anything. My daughter said everything looked too “old” and my husband said everything looked too “flowery”. They finally told me to just pick one. I’m still working on it. I know I’m not going to win this battle.

Monday was a big day. We went to get manicure/pedicures and then headed out to breakfast. (I had a mushroom omelet and only ate half of it, thanks to the Rexulti.) After that we headed to our favorite mall. I got some crop pants and a sweater and she basically got nothing. Which is an Easter miracle, as she is a dedicated shopper. We looked around for Easter candy for my husband’s basket, but were uninspired.

On Monday, I made it to my women’s church group meeting. I actually drove there (with my husband in the car) and then had one of the other women drive me home. I NEED to keep driving.

Yesterday was sort of a lost day. We didn’t do too much of anything together. But I did make arrangements for a massage therapist to come over and give my daughter a massage. She loved that, of course.

Today we are going on a real adventure. There is a campsite about an hour away with a little ankle deep stream. We’re going to take a picnic and go hang out around there for a while. It should be fun.

I thought about going back to my old bipolar support group yesterday. I’m not sure why, I guess I just missed the people, especially the leader. But I originally stopped going because it was too depressing and I wondered if it wouldn’t really seem depressing now that I felt better. So I didn’t go. Maybe I will think about it for next week.

No movement on the quilt. I still need the extra fabric. Am planning on doing that on Thursday (tomorrow).

No movement on the book. Have lost heart there.

Tomorrow (St. Patrick’s Day), we are going out for happy hour and then over to the comedy club. We don’t drink much at happy hours, but we like the cheap food. I’ll be curious to see how the Rexulti affects happy hours. I also see my therapist tomorrow.

My therapist and I are working some issues, some of which are parent-related. I thought I had done all of this work years ago with another therapist, but I think I needed a refresher since my mom died. I just like this therapist a lot…she seems to GET me, which is very soothing. I don’t have to explain every tiny detail to her.

Well, I am off to get some tomato basil soup in the slow cooker. Had to get this blog up and the soup in before our big picnic today.

Final verdict: am feeling good but not ecstatic. Have too much car anxiety.

See you all next week-






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