Mish Mash


No, this is not an image of my youngest son’s room, although it is close. This is an image of my brain on drugs. (Does anyone else remember that commercial?)

My older son got that new job I have been talking about. I really think it is a good deal. An insurance company that’s been around forever and seems well organized. A 401 where they actually match and decent pay. $17 an hour to start and $26 for overtime. Their health insurance is pretty high, but he can stay on ours for another year or so. I guess lots of companies now want their employees off their insurance and onto Obamacare. The prices would do it, for sure. AND my son is young and healthy.

Today is one of those days where I’m not achieving much, but tomorrow is a big day. I told above son I would take him shopping for clothes. This is a kid who worked at a flag store (they actually sell flags), and he wore jeans with holes and ratty T-shirts. The packet his new job sent us was clear about the dress code. He needs dress socks, dress shoes (loafers?), khakis, a pair of dress pants, jeans (for casual Fridays), button down shirts, polos, and a belt or two. (I think he has white T-shirts and underwear, but who knows? This is sort of a funny thing…to think of him wearing “normal” clothes to work everyday.

Today I am working on my book, Part II. I am planning on reading what I have and then jotting down scenes I want to put in there to finish it. Some things that are approximate. I normally don’t outline my writing but I am getting toward the end and I need more structure. I don’t even want to think about editing this whole mess. I’ve had a couple of friends who have been really helpful. One told me the ending for Part I could be stronger (I totally agree). Another told me she wants to hear more about one of the characters. That’s the kind of thing that is helpful. I HATE having someone read my writing and say “Gee, it’s great!”. That either means they haven’t read it, it’s terrible, or they don’t care enough to give feedback. I need to find more people to read Part I. Even though I am in the middle of Part II it would help to have one or two more Part I readers.

I think I am quilted out for a while. I am working on my fourth quilt and it looks good so far. It’s not too far from being sent off to get quilted, but it needs those damned borders. I’ve decided I just like to put the top together and that is it.

Speaking of quilts I have a funny story. You might remember I go to a Christian women’s support group once a week. So this woman there announces she is going to make a quilt for her granddaughter. I said “I didn’t know you quilted!” And she says “I don’t. But I have a sewing machine and how hard can it be?” Ack! Here’s the thing: quilting is not rocket science but it is damned close. To do it correctly, you do need instruction. Then she announces that her granddaughter is buying yards of fabric she likes. I sure hope it is quilting fabric. Did you know you cut fabric for quilts with a rotary cutter, not scissors? I didn’t know that at all. So I will be curious about this quilt.

I feel less depressed and so does my daughter. I need to get up and walk but at least I am not crying or down. Today there is gorgeous weather here and I should get my butt out. But I need to wash my hair and get a shower. I’ll do that later so I am ready for the big shopping day tomorrow.

Remember last week we talked about my husband going to the rock and gem show? You guys would have been proud of me. I stayed 2 1/2 days without my husband and didn’t call him and cry or anything. I went shopping for a little while with my daughter and we only spent $17.

Let’s talk driving anxiety. I am still scared but it hasn’t gotten worse. I drove my daughter to the store and actually parked and backed out. I plan on driving tomorrow to do the shopping with my son. I need to get on the freeway a little. I have to do that to drive to church. I didn’t go to church on Sunday because of the freeway. Not good. I figure God understands.

Do you ever feel alienated in a group or at an activity where you know everyone? I understand feeling alienated in a strange crowd, but not somewhere I have known people for thirty years. That is crazy! But I am pretty crazy, so it works out.

I went to my well woman check last week. (If you are a female, you know this sucks.) The doctor came in and I promptly dissolved into tears. I have health anxiety and am convinced I will get some fatal disease. I’m not exactly a hypochondriac because I don’t run from doc to doc thinking something is wrong. I only go when I am truly sick or for well checks. I do keep up with the mammograms, etc.

Part of my problem here is that I know a lot of people who DO have fatal diseases. So I am absolutely ridiculous with my fear. But I think something is going on in my brain. This driving and health anxiety is getting to be a problem.

Super Bowl: Liked Lady Gaga and her singing. (Normally don’t even know who she is.) Thought half time was boring. Game was good as I wanted Carolina to get smashed. (A little tired of Cam Newton). Commercials were a letdown.

That was my week. How was yours?

hugs, lily

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