“The Tapestry Of Suck That Is Life”
It just sounds so elegant, does it not? Tapestry…
Oh, I know, I know. “Do you ever have a good word to say about life, you ungrateful pessimistic bitch?”
I’ll think long and hard on that and get back with you.
Following Friday night’s kid free serenity…Life reared its ugly head, bringing upon me things that stole sporks I didn’t have to spare. Cold struck. Well, I ventured out into the dish because I had no tea or sugar left and the instant I was out…I got hit with waves of coughing and allergy drainage which had me choking to death. And then I went to Dollar General, figuring a smaller store would be safer than a busy store on a Saturday. They, too, were busy, and to top it off, the aisles were spaced so close together I felt like I was trapped with the walls closing in on me. I just wanted out. The second another register opened, I nearly trampled a couple of people behind me to get to it. Normally I’d say, go ahead, I have lots of stuff, you don’t…In a panic…Every man, woman, child, and pegacorn for themselves. Fuck that shit.
Hit traffic en route home.Then got hit with another fit of coughing and choking on drainage, while trying to navigate traffic, and my nose was running and my eyes watering on OH THAT’S NOT FUCKING ENOUGH, LET’S COUGH SO HARD I PEE A LITTLE! Yeah, I went there, because it was never a fucking issue prior to pushing out the soccer ball known as a spawn, and no amount of Kegals has helped against the body racking coughs that hit my diaphragm. GODDAMNIT ALL TO SMEGGING HELL. By the time I got home from that 40 minute jaunt…I was already exhausted and it wasn’t even 11 a.m.
Ya know, the “peeing a little” thing pisses me off, but what pisses me off more are MEN who find it funny or gross, or the super women who for whatever reason have snatch muscles of steel so they can gloat “I’ve had six kids and I’ve never had that problem!” Fuck you all with barbwire dildos. It’s NOT funny. It’s annoying and inconvenient and embarrassing and yet…for some of us not so super snatch holder…it’s real. So pardon me if I pee a little when my chest is being attacked by a cough that’s a 10.0 on the Richter scale.
I’m a hoot,aren’t I? All “the government is up in my business and I am a private person” yet sharing such things here…Well, it made me mad. I don’t do silently mad. I do ranting mad.
Went to fetch the spawn. My ever loving mommy chastised me for not bringing the kid a coat. For “letting” her wear short sleeves. Then starts questioning me about how maybe my bad depressions are what makes my kid feel so unloved and do I take to my bed and shun Spook…And it’s like, I don’t even believe this shit. My mother spent six months of our childhood unemployed and in her pajamas unless it was check day so she could go manic spend and get happy for a minute. *She denies this,but my sis and I both remember it.* To have her question me…Just like, okay, Spook, we’re out of here.
After all that… I returned to binge watching The Event. Which means putting up with Hulu’s constantly dropping out. They blame my ISP and yet none of my other stuff was affected. Their service is shit. It is a mystery why people would procure things illegally. Paying for shitty service is living the dream.
Spook was relatively low key. I did have to panic when I saw it was gonna get down to 32 overnight and I realized…the car likely had a teaspoon of anter frozen in it. (Yes, I know it’s anti freeze, anter frozen makes it funnier.) I called stepmonster in a panic and she agreed it was necessary. Which it wouldn’t have been had R-sole kept his word to put some in it FRiday when he put some in his own car. Broken promises are the deal breaker for me. It’s so easy to avoid- don’t say a word. But repeatedly giving your word to do something and flaking every fucking time…You deserve my wrath.
I was on the fence for hours. It was cold and I had a yen for chili. (tomato water, people call it cos I don’t use beans, groooss.) But I didn’t want to do Aldi on a Saturday. But I wanted chili. Lather, rinse, repeat. Finally, I packed up the spawn and we went to frigging Aldi. I didn’t even have a quarter for a cart, so we just grabbed a few things, ensuring another trip to the hell hole for me at a later date IF I can get a quarter. Anyway…I got my chili and it was good and warming.
Spook went to sleep fairly quick. I stayed up awhile watching The Event but I was cold and beaten down and curled up under the covers. An hour in, the Restoril started to kick in…Only for me to shoot awake just as I went under. Pure terror. It happens almost every night and I don’t know why. I got up, fed the cats, got some water, came back to bed…Tossed, turned. I was freezing but the uber warm shirts I had on felt like they were strangling me at the neck..Changed into something baggy at the neck, so I was freezing but not feeling strangled…Slept. Woke. Slept. Woke. And stayed awake with coughing hacking draining fits to the point I had to keep the trash can by bedside as I was drowning. (I know, it’s a mystery why no man has grabbed me up when I paint such a sexy pic of myself.) It was a long hellish night and by the time Spook was up…I couldn’t pry myself up. I was awake. Just unable to get out from under the covers.
But get up I did because the bastard bladder won’t be denied. Now I am back to watching The Event (it dropped into buffering seven times in one forty minute show, FFS, Hulu!). No plans today. I want to finish the laundry as I am like one load from being caught up, most even put away. It may happen, may not.
I’m not gonna spaz about it. I’ve got a sniffly runny nose the anti histamines won’t touch, my chest and abs are sore from all the coughing last night, and frankly, my give a fuck is broken. I am gonna vegetate.
I need the rest as we go into another week dealing with the tapestry of suck that is life.
