“How Are You?”: Return of the Crazi

Old Skool Selfie with Fox Mask

Old Skool Selfie with Fox Mask

Warnings for: penciled & other swearing, bad handwriting, anger, and that old horror “How are you?

An old school selfie, for those who can’t even remember “Wings” (1), is one taken with a camera, in a mirror. It represents my desire to hide from the world behind a fox mask. For some, makeup is the mask of choice, but even when comparatively well, I just can’t be asked.

For those times when you can’t locate your foundation or mascara, ladies, Choose Life. Choose Fox Mask.

Dat ol’ devil, “How are you?” When, oh when, are the people who know me – and this of course includes casual acquaintances and, well, everyone on this flaming planet who may ever ever encounter me – going to learn? Do not ask me “How are you?” unless you’re prepared to hear the answer, and have a high tolerance for bad language.

Honestly, I’ve sworn so much over the past few days, my mum has had more exercise rolling around in her grave than she ever got in life.

Mom during her only visit to our house: 1980s

Mom with one of our cats: 1980s

Time was, if I woke to the sound of rain, and didn’t have to go to work, I would smile, and snuggle down for more sleep. This morning, I thought 1) bugger, I can’t go for a jog in this, and 2) gods help our already struggling, Victorian drains.

The Curse of Middle Age, and a Sense of Responsibility. I ask you, what was so very bad about behaving like an overgrown kid? Other, of course, than the fact that I wouldn’t just spit out my dummy, I’d trash the whole bleedin’ pram. Plus any other, nearby and therefore handy, prams.

The Pagan and gardener in me welcomes the rain. It’s part of the cycle, helps the garden, etc, etc. Plus, if I can’t cope with rain, why am I still in Britain? Why am I not in Michigan, where it never, ever rained?

(Pause for irony…)

Coaster Fish loves rain

Coaster Fish loves rain

Lately, if someone asks that question, I either say 1) “Let’s pretend I said ‘fine’,” or 2) “Do you want the British answer, or the American one? The British answer is ‘fine’. You don’t have time for the American one.”

I’m fine, by the way. Because neither of us have time for the American one.

Scary Writing Muse, with list

Scary Writing Muse, with list

1) At one time, kids would tell their parents, “Did you know Paul McCartney was in a band before ‘Wings’?”



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