All the feels

Wanderer above the Sea of Fog
Wanderer above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich

Sadness infuses my brain. This is different than depression, but it’s like standing on a dangerous precipice. If I allow it to overcome my senses, I will fall back into the chasm of depression. That is not an option.

Several articles address the issue of sadness vs. depression. In Why Depression and Sadness Are not the Same, the author quotes a psychologist as saying “Some people who have depression don’t even experience sadness….” In another article, the author states “…sadness is not constant.

This sadness is not caused by my own circumstances, although my brain/body reaction feels as though it is happening to me. Acknowledging that while the situation is sad, it is not my own and that my psyche may be blending it with my past, is most likely what needs to be done. These people are not me, I am not them. The situation is both very similar and very different at the same time. But…I am an observer, not a participant. Offering love and support is the only thing I can and should do. Removing pain or an experience from another is not my place.

This is why I cannot be a therapist or a counselor. I take all the feels upon myself. I often have the need to be a mother to all, a nurturer, a rescuer, a problem solver. This is not humanly possible, it is not wise, and it is not helpful to all involved.

So I step back from the edge of the cliff and back into my own life.

Tagged: depression, PTSD, sadness

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