Daily Archives: July 5, 2015

Inner Safety

Yesterday, like most Americans home and abroad, I had a little BBQ with friends and family. This was the fifth annual iteration that we’d been doing it with one of my ‘local’ ex-pat friends (she lives a couple of hours away), and at my eldest’s suggestion, we extended the invitation to her best friend’s family. As we match up as well with his parents as we do with my friend R and her husband, we’re always happy to hang out with them. And as the matriarch of that family is my closest local friend (both in physical proximity and friendship ‘importance’), I definitely wanted her and R to meet and make friendly. All in all, all six adults had a great time, all three kiddos had a great time, and my eldest declared it to be the best day ever.

While we were chatting and knitting (because yanno, I have to get everyone in the world hooked on knitting), the subject of having friends who also have mental illnesses came up. And I commented that pretty much the entirety of my inner circle(s) have mental illnesses, and most of them of a chronic nature. It was agreed that having friends who are also living with such made for a more empathetic support group, and on that I agree. I hadn’t intentionally acquired a bunch of bipolar friends on purpose (well, until I set up The Bipolar Blogger Network, ha ha), but it helped me be happier with my diagnosis and what it meant, and it’s helped me since in knowing that friends with similarly broken brains can understand when the brain weasels are being stupid (brain weasels compliments of bat).

But What About ‘Normal’ People?

This came up in a big way when my sister was visiting last month. We haven’t been on the same page as each other in a really freaking long time; I’m pretty sure the last time were was in the 90s. And we totally had a blow out fight. We also finally had a point where we deconstructed it after the fact and managed to make a lot more sense to each other, but it proved a point to me — it is hard to explain things to someone who isn’t mentally/chronically ill. Even if someone is empathetic (and it turned out she was to a much higher degree than I remembered from recent years), there’s so much of the experience and the verbiage and such that goes into clarifying things to someone who lives and speaks a different language, and well… spoons? What spoons? And I did manage to clarify that — that we didn’t speak the same language, so we were just raising our voices at each other trying to make things make sense that way. Yeah, that doesn’t work. But as many of us know — it’s just easier to take those non-existent spoons and stay with people who don’t need extra clarification. That isn’t to say that a normal person is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’, obviously — just that there is so much they take for granted in their functionality that they might not be able to easily understand that not everyone can talk so heatedly, or defend their positions deeply.

Anyways, I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir, but my brain needed to noodle over it. *nodnods*

Hope everyone is well.


Let’s Celebrate July 5th in Fives

Most celebrate July 4th. Cookouts, company, fireworks, maybe  a few drinks. As my last post indicates, my July 4th sucked. I mean, SUCKED. Much as I love getting showered, fed, and retiring to my room in the dark with fans…The noise was a neverending torment. So in the spirit of rebellion and being myself, who, for whatever reason, is *not* the norm…Let’s  celebrate the fifth of July by making love/hate lists in the number five. Take the challenge, it has zero calories and no adverse side effects.

FAVORITE SHOWS: (major networks)

1.) CSI (though that’s been canceled so CSI Cyber it becomes and my computers will never look anything but evil again.)

2.) Person of Interest

3.) Grey’s Anatomy

4.) The Originals (even though the current depressive cycle has made sure I haven’t watched it in four months)

5.) Nashville. Yes. It’s not the country music, it’s the characters and storylines. Sue me.

Favorite Shows On Cable/ limited episodes seasons:

1.) izombie-hells yeah!

2.)  Rizzoli and Isles

3.) Under The Dome

4.) American Horror Story

5.) Dr. Who

Favorite bands/ music artists

1.) Wednesday 13

2.) Murderdolls

3.) 30 Seconds To Mars (early stuff good, later stuff…mediocre)

4.) Black Veil Brides

5.) Adelitas Way

Favorite Songs

1.) The Kill -30 Seconds To Mars

2.) Forget To Remember- Mudvayne

3.) Fallen Angel- Poison

4.) Anything, Anything- Dramarama

5.) 18 and Life- Skid Row

Favorite Movies, all genres

1.) Vampires Suck

2.) Eddie and the Cruisers 2: Eddie Lives

3.) Brainscan

4.) Friday the 13 th 6: Jason Lives

5.) Under Siege

Things I hate and you will never convince me otherwise:

1. Housework.

2. Bell bottom pants.

3.) Pastel pink tied with mental illness, each are ICKKKK

4.) People who abuse animals.

5.) Chinese food.

Favorite digital things

1. Computers, laptop or desktop, love both

2.) memory cards/flash drives/ external drives-picture albums that won’t become yelllow-y

3.) Cell phones. And I mean PHONE, not smart phone that does everything but cook breakfast for you. I just like being able to place a call when my car breaks down.

4.) wifi- not being chained to a cord (except by laptop batteries that last all of 1.5 hours if you actually use it)

5.) MP3 players- sooo wondermous to include all the songs you love without having to pack a hundred cds and skip a dozen songs for the ONE you like

Foods I LOVE

1.) pizza with meat and mushroom topping

2.)  spaghetti with meat sauce and mushrooms

3.) Domino’s parmesan bites

4.) cheeseburger with ketchup and onion only

5.) beef jerky (certain brands and flavors)

Foods I won’t touch with YOUR hand

1.) Chinese

2.) Saurkraut, however it’s spelled

3.) asparagus, broccoli, icky

4.) yogurt…I won’t eat anything with more culture than me.

5.) steak. Unless it’s frozen and called salisbury…NOPE. (Which by the way, makes me a cheap date. Just saying.)

Hobbies/ Things to Do in spare time


2.) Write

3. read

4. Blog

5. Yard sales

Favorite Vices-

1.) Cake vodka

2.) whiskey and coke (liquid, not powder)

3.) No strings attached safe sex

4.) Mangoritas

5.) Swearing

Retro as fuck things about me-

1.) Prefer VCRs to DVD

2.) Want to own old school Mrs Pac-Man arcade video game

3.) CRT televisions- old clunky, hard to move yet last 15 years without needing a repair. Flat panels…Um…NO.

4) Cars. Anything past 1990 means wussfied engine and computerized brain. No, no no. I want my old school v-8 engine that goes when I tell it to and doesn’t break d0wn at every hiccup. Also, cannot be hacked so I die in a fiery crash that looks like an accident.

5.) Hair metal…Yes, the videos were cheesy, but guys with long hair and eyeliner and music that just makes me want to rock out and have fun…Timeless

So…there’s my sunshine spewage in  honor of the 4th of July on July 5th. And they say I can’t be positive. Hell, I was born positive. O positive.

Shame I always wanted to be like Grumpy Cat and be N-negative.




Zero To Shit In 3 Seconds Flat

I was doing okay yesterday. Even let my kid play with her devil friends and let them come inside. Doctored up a stray cat with an injured tail. I was doing FINE.

Then came evening. Dad stopped by and they took Spook out for ice cream. I mentioned that I wanted to get some sparklers and stuff to let off with Spook later on. Two hours later they called and said, Can she stay the night with us? We’ll just buy her some stuff to wear and we took her out for supper, and oh, we bought her $20 in fireworks to let off at our house.


Normally, I wouldn’t mind. I like alone time. And I probably wouldn’t have minded except I plainly told them I had a plan with my child and they ripped it out from under me. Of course, by then they’d already told her she was going home with them so asking me was perfunctory. I couldn’t say no and turn into the bad guy. So I said ok, yay, and tried to convince myself I could have a wonderful evening alone and get a good night’s sleep.

I fixed myself supper. Showered. And then got hit with such a dark wave of depression I retired to my bedroom at 7:30 with Forensic Files playing and so many fans running I got cold. Of course, the cats wanted nothing to do with me since I needed snuggle time. The phone rang twice, as soon as I started to get in a chill mental space. My dad telling me all the stuff they bought her that I can’t afford, then how much fun she was having. Made it worse.  So I pushed away the depression and had a Mangorita I’d stashed in the fridge. Two sips and it went back in the fridge.

For fuck’s sake, when you can’t even enjoy a drink, what’s left to enjoy in life? The depression has commandeered all and IT ALL STARTED WITH THE SINGLE 60 MG DOSE OF CYMBALTA INSTEAD OF THE SPLIT DOSE THAT HAD BEEN WORKING FOR ME. And ya know, I don’t even care if it’s placebo effect. This is my fucking life and I had a working system and now it’s shot to hell because the professionals know so goddamn much. Yes, I am pissed off. I am very pissed off. But talking to this shrink when his fundamental belief is anti depressant levels are the same no matter when you take them…So screwed.

And THEN…The town fireworks. I live two miles from where they set them off so I got hear, not see, but hear every single loud obnoxious pop. And every time, I jumped and my heart raced and I was filled with self loathing because damn it, I should ENJOY this kind of thing. OOh, pretty fireworks. But no, my central nervous system interprets loud noise as a threat and fight or flight kicks in. Forty five minutes of cringing and cowering in my darkened room, begging silently, MAKE IT STOP.

It did stop. And then my next door neighbors promptly started setting off the sheets of firecrackers that sound like an Uzi spraying bullets. Right outside my bedroom window.  Enter Xanax. More tossing, turning, heart racing. Finally…quiet around 11 pm. I slept. Woke at 12:30. 1:20. 2:35. 3:10. 4:45. 6 a.m. I don’t remember waking after that until 7 ish. Which by that point, I was still to tired to drag ass out of bed. I lolled until a little after 8 and got up. Stupid bladder.

I’m not in a dark place right now, but I did just take my meds and get that jolt. It will fade quickly. Last night just sucked. And OMG, the dreams, I had so many fucked up dreams. I was sixteen again, back in school, and I forgot my book for a test and then the school officials wanted me to see their psychiatrist and forebade me to seek meds from anyone else. There were other dreams that were even more fucked up. Not even good ones.

I can  no longer blame the dreams on Latuda or Trileptal. So why suddenly did they start hitting me when for months I barely remembered dreaming at all? And why is my sleep getting worse instead of better unless I drink alcohol? My kid wasn’t even here. They say 80% of sleep issues are for psychological reasons. That makes no sense to me. It’s not like I don’t want to sleep. The fact I have to go to my bedroom at 7 pm to get to sleep by 11 pm kinda says I am desperate for that sleep. My life is just a big bucket of what the fuck and the professionals aren’t helping. I need counseling, of course, that’s their answer to everything. I tried to explain the breach of trust from the last counselor and could they please help me find another place my insurance covers. No go. If you’re on government or state insurance, you are entitled to one option only. Tough if it traumatizes you further.

I have no idea when they will bring Spook back today. Which makes me nuts because it puts me in a holding pattern, unable to relax, and if I ask dad, he will just say, “Later today, when we’re done having fun with her.” I’m all for my kid having fun. Just…dear god, I struggle with this anxiety shit, would it kill them to show a little respect and deference and just give me a solid-ish point of return time? Kind of like calling before just showing up. Or a little heads up that you plan to abduct my kid all night so I can at least pack her some clothes and give her a kiss? Deviation is a trigger and it’s some OCD thing, I have a kid, I know shit happens, things change, it’s constantly in a flux. But this has been going on for over ten years, long before I had a kid. I used to dread weekends because I knew inevitably they would show up at the least opportune moment…I want to be different, I have tried to be different…But it seems like I’m the only one who has to adapt while everyone around me gets to remain an asshole.

I am becoming increasingly concerned about Spook and I can’t tell if it’s unwarranted neurosis or if I am so terrified my mental stuff is tainting her it’s become a self fulfilling prophecy or is she started to get the chemical imbalance or just being a manipulate kid. Three times this past week she’s gotten mad at me for saying no to something and starts yelling, “You ruin my life, I don’t even want to live life anymore!”

I can honestly say, she’s never heard me say this. I write everything and I make sure she’s not over my shoulder reading. So where is it coming from? Or is she just tugging on my heart strings so I let her strangle the cat with a bead necklace? I’m also worried that she’s just so bored with me cos I can’t afford to take her to do things even if my mental state cooperated. I can’t even take her to the park because I have to ration and justify every mile on the gas tank.

I became so worried that when she was at mom’s the other night and I saw A and J, her little friends I call the devil girls (the ones who spread that she had lice and we had bedbugs, et al) I stopped the car. Spook’s been lamenting how much she misses them so I approached them, not channeling satan, and asked if they’d just come over once in awhile to play with her cos she misses them. Those two stress me out like nothing else but I want my kid to be happy and I bit the bullet.

To top it all off for this weekend…We saw The Donor in traffic the other day. He was in his car and oblivious, of course, but I’d know that long albino blond hair anywhere. And I just get so irked that it’s been four years and he doesn’t even try to see her or contribute. Who does that? He claims to have a 187 IQ and because he’s held management positions and is so great an employee, he’s this fabulous person and I am this whack job. A whack job, on a limited income, with serious mental issues, who has still managed to raise a child for four years without any help from him. Everyone says take him to court. I wish it were that simple. I just keep hoping he’ll do the right thing. What kind of monster needs a court to tell them to support their kid?

But he’s done it to his two other kids (who also had whacko moms that were so mean to him) so it’s his damage, not ours. As for court…I am not ready to face off. He lies so much it’s just a trigger and he likes to twist my mental stuff to a point where I can’t tell up from down…He always said the moms were just after his money, and that’s just too much stupidity for me to handle until a court tells me I have to. Funny, huh. I expect him to do the right thing without a court telling him to but I avoid facing off with him unless a court tells me to. My hypocrite is showing. Except I didn’t need a fucking court to tell me take care of my child.

I am on a tear. It’s just been a sucky few days. Time to stuff it all into the red balloon and let the string go, let it all drift away. Yep. Twenty years of therapy and that’s what I came out of it with.

I should face the housework. Ugh. Now that the Cymbalta high is wearing off…I don’t want to do a damn thing. Maybe if I just give myself permission to do nothing…I will end up doing something.

This is one of those times where positive thinking is just spray painting a pile of dog poop gold and pretending it doesn’t stink. Not sleeping, evening mood crashes, neurosis to the point I can’t even interact with people on the computer because the panic is too bad…There is nothing good about any of it. Fuck the rainbow spewage.



New Hope for Mental Illness

Did you hear the news?

Bullying, inflammation, anger, low self-esteem, abuse, biochemicals, unsettled gender identity, cat parasites, and anything bad causes depression/bipolar disorder/PTSD. (Double-jointedness, too, except I don’t know if that’s bad or not.)

But don’t worry. Reading, happy memories, cat videos, a new vaccine, or Tylenol can help!

Science reporting these days is confusing, deceptive, and sometimes just plain wrong. Perhaps science reporters don’t mean to mislead, but that’s exactly what they do. Among the problems are publishing demands, lack of knowledge, logical fallacies, and the difference between correlation and causation.

Let me explain.

Publishers demand big, catchy headlines, and they prefer “New Hope for Bipolar on Your Grocer’s Shelf” to “Experiments on Genes and Diseases Continue.” Add to that the fact that editorial budgets have been slashed and personnel shuffled around so much that todays’s “science reporter” may have been last month’s “political correspondent” – and trained only in basic journalism, if that.

Science is complicated and difficult to understand, unless you’ve got special training. Even then, your expertise is likely to be only in one area – the microbiology of prostate cancer in mice, for example. And most people’s understanding of how scientific research works is, well, not understanding so much as knowing that DNA is somehow like a fingerprint.

Here’s a website with videos that tackle the subject quite nicely. My personal favorite is the one about animal trials in research, which explains (among other things) why my father, who had bone cancer, always said he was tired of being compared to a white rat.


Another problem is argument by analogy, which appears more in opinion pieces than in stories labeled as science. But here’s a sample, damning research on psychotropic drugs, written by Kelly Brogan, MD, ABIHM (American Board of Integrative Holistic Medicine).

The most applicable analogy is that of the woman with social phobia who finds that drinking two cocktails eases her symptoms. One could imagine how, in a 6 week randomized trial, this “treatment” could be found efficacious and recommended for daily use and even prevention of symptoms. How her withdrawal symptoms after 10 years of daily compliance could lead those around her to believe that she “needed” the alcohol to correct an imbalance. This analogy is all too close to the truth.

Well, no it’s not, for a number of reasons. Analogies always break down after a while, some sooner than others. For example, that hypothetical six-week trial would be longer than six weeks, come only after years of animal studies (including ones that focused on unwanted side effects like, I don’t know, hangovers or liver damage). The trial would have included control groups, placebos, and other research protocols. The ten-year “withdrawal” effect wouldn’t show up in six weeks; people who drink only two drinks per day are not generally considered alcoholics or go into withdrawal (indeed they may be drinking wine for heart health).

(See http://www.madinamerica.com/2014/12/depression-serotonin/)

And so forth. Having two drinks per day is not analogous to taking a medication for social anxiety disorder. It’s associating the disliked thing (psychotropic meds) with a thing known to be bad (alcoholism) and damning by association.

Here’s another flaw: the principle that “correlation does not equal causation.” The classic example comes from the 1950s, when it was claimed that rock and roll music would lead to teenage pregnancies. It’s true that some teenagers who listened to rock and roll became pregnant (correlation). But some didn’t. And some teenagers who listened to country or jazz became pregnant. And I think by now we know what really causes pregnancy (causation).

This problem is illustrated by an article, “Scientists: The ‘Tortured Artist’ Is a Real Thing.”
The first thing to notice is that the headline is misleading, or possibly completely untrue. The article explains a study that supposedly shows that “creative genius and mental disorders are connected at a genetic level,” then goes on to debunk it:

“Any particular set of genes is only going to explain a very small part of variation in any psychological trait,” says Scott Barry Kaufman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania. Indeed, the variants in the new study have a tiny, miniscule impact on creativity – less than 1 percent.

The rest of the article waffles back and forth and concludes inconclusively. Are creativity and “madness” linked somehow? Possibly. Does one cause the other? We don’t know, but there are a lot of theories. There are lots of other possible factors. Without the headline, would anyone read that? How do you define “creativity,” anyway?

(See http://mentalfloss.com/article/64852/scientists-tortured-artist-real-thing).

Here’s a selection of recent articles that purport to have some relevance to mental illness or mental health.

Can Reading Make You Happier?
Answer: Bibliotherapy helps some people, possibly because of changes in the brain.

Artificial Recreation Of Happy Memories May Become The Next Big Weapon Against Depression
Thesis: “Urging a depressed person to stay positive by remembering the good things in life is unlikely to be helpful advice. That is because depression blocks access to happy memories. But what if we could somehow artificially recreate such memories to allow for some more positive thinking? A study suggests that this is indeed possible – at least in rats….However, more research will be necessary to obtain a clearer picture of how this might work in humans.”
(Again with the rats.)

Science Shows that Watching Cat Videos is Good for You
The article, which says “research suggests that the pleasure you derive from watching cat videos can often outweigh the guilt of procrastination,” is largely tongue-in-cheek, but that headline is a grabber. Headlines that use “waffle words” like may, can, might, possibly, someday, appears to usually indicate a story that says nothing significant. They build up hope, but if a study comes along that disproves the theory, it will never be reported.

Researchers Are Developing A Vaccine For Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
It begins: “New studies are suggesting a link between the immune system and the way the body reacts to stress. Research with rodents are raising hopes that one day, tweaking a person’s immune system could be a way to treat or even prevent conditions like PTSD, Nature reports.” How many warning signs can you spot there?

Double-Jointedness Is Linked to Anxiety
One of my favorites. Correlation/causation much?

Your pain reliever may also be diminishing your joy
Actually it says that acetaminophen blunts both positive and negative emotions. And, it adds, “this study offers support to a relatively new theory that says that common factors may influence how sensitive we are to both the bad as well as the good things in life.” Gee, who would have guessed?

Is Depression a Mental or Physical Illness? Unravelling the Inflammation Hypothesis
This is actually a good article. The headline question is a valid and interesting one, and the author states, “But while there may be a connection between inflammation and depression, one doesn’t necessarily lead to the other. So it’s too simplistic to say depression is a physical, rather than a psychiatric, illness.” Hooray for correlation/causation!

What does all this reporting prove? Almost nothing. Except “let the reader beware.”

Filed under: Mental Health Tagged: deceptive reporting, journalism, media and mental illness, mental health, mental illness, mental illness in the news, news stories, psychotropic drugs, public perception, science reporting

pour me a link

(scheduled post)

They say I have a linking problem, I say just one more link (for the road). Who you callin’ lunk?! Another week, another linkdump, and they seem to be getting longer. As usual, the comments in italics are mine.

“Similar to ‘love,’ normal is a term that falls astoundingly short of expressing the wide range of human emotions and experiences.” (Lachlan Nicholson)
This is how real people define normal



When My 8-Year-Old With Bipolar Disorder Asked if He Could Dye His Hair Blue
Dating & single parenting my son living with bipolar
Part I: Parenting Insights for Those Who Have Bipolar Disorder
10 Tips for Supporting Children Through a Spouse’s Mental Illness
Grieving father: Stop jailing people for mental illness (tw: suicide)
What we learned during CNN Parents’ chat on mental health and addiction.
Was it attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder? Obsessive-compulsive disorder? Bipolar disorder? Asperger’s syndrome? Theodosiou says she’ll never know for sure because as Daniel started abusing drugs, he was never sober long enough to really get to the root of the problem.
Mother who lost mentally ill addicted son: The system is ‘broken’
When mental illness affects your family
He is 14 and hears voices. He’s been hospitalized more than 20 times. Stephanie Escamilla is tired of seeing the country focus on the mentally ill only when there’s a national tragedy. So she and her son are telling their story — of a family on the brink.
She had an epiphany. “I thought I hated my son,” she says. “But then I realized it wasn’t him that I hated. It was his bipolar disorder.”
My son is mentally ill so listen up & Video
More than a men’s issue, paternal depression affects us all
Milana’s more pressing fear then was that Mamma, with undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenia, would make good on those frequent threats to kill her, her three siblings and their dad. Or that Papa might kill Mamma first. Or that Mamma actually might drink the coffee Milana poisoned.
Author reveals childhood of horror behind suburban facade (tw: abuse)
10 brutal truths about being married to a bipolar person.
Bipolar Mums online community.


Amateur radio helps teen with disabilities
Teens With Chronic Mental Illness Are Less Likely To Finish School And Find Jobs.
Taking charge of your mental health.


Interview with a woman diagnosed with bipolar 1 (2 parts).
Why I Never Disclose My Mental Illness On The First Date.
Ties that Bind – When love is all you need. (Human stories from a Portland shantytown)
Retired CEO reflects on life with bipolar (Charleston)
Black and minority ethnic people are shortchanged by mental health services
Dwight Kiefert, a Republican from Valley City serving in the state House, clarified in an interview Monday that while he leans toward the belief that homosexuality is a mental illness, he is not sure because he is neither a doctor nor a psychiatrist. – What an utter dickhead.
ND legislator calls marriage equality ruling a victory for the mentally ill

This one’s for you, Dwight…

Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee Uses Schizophrenia As A Slur, Gets It Wrong. another douche
According to statistics from the South African Federation for Mental Health, 23 South Africans die every day as a result of suicide, the 8th highest suicide rate in the world. In light of Mental Illness Awareness Month in July, it is critical for South Africans to be aware of this tendency in order to seek treatment sooner rather than later. There will be expensive marketing spin, but nothing will change, it breaks my heart.
Mental health must be a priority for South Africa
Psychiatric drugs save lives and promote healing. And water is wet.
The lithium we have on Earth now — part stardust, part primordial dust and part earth dust — is a constituent part of our planet, one that sometimes shapes personalities. The thought occurred to me that maybe my taking lithium prophesied a lithium-dependent future, connecting it to a past when our world was birthed in fiery lithium explosions. Maybe that capsule filled with a salt, the one that allowed me to function, tethered past, present and future together. But then, extravagant prophecies built on the miraculous powers of a prehistoric element reek of mania. (Jaime Lowe, I don’t believe in god but I believe in lithium)
Why Iowa should open the jailhouse doors and release those with mental illness. It’s a crying shame that that statement needs any justification at all.
Psychosis isn’t catching but burnout is a risk for many caring professionals. People are stupid enough to think psychosis is contagious? Where are we, the Middle Ages?
The high cost of being bipolar.
‘Movies can teach so much about psychopathology and psychiatry, including diagnostics, issues of medical ethics, the stigma of mental illness.’ – Anthony Tobia
Shedding Light on Mental Illness Through Movies and Social Media
A psychologist’s perspective on post-traumatic stress disorder.
Is depression a mental or physical illness? Unravelling the inflammation hypothesis.


A letter – to my pre-bipolar self.
Mental illness and weapons. are a dangerous combination.
An endless road to reintegration for mental health patients. (India)
Concerns on Mental health literacy (Malta)
Ethiopia: ‘Socialization Is a Good Sign for Improving Mental Health’


10 Ways to Curb Mania and Hypomania. There were a few that were new to me.

I’d like to see an article addressing the terrors of getting a job in the first place.

Mental illness and work: Dealing with it.
Flexible workplaces help people with disabilities, impairments and mental illness.
Mental Illness in the Workplace.
Virtual training helps vets with PTSD, mentally ill nab more jobs


Hip hop

How Hip-Hop Could Actually Be The Key To Beating Mental Illness. With a baseball bat yo.
University of Cambridge: Hip-hop music can help people experiencing mental health difficulties.
Hip-hop culture is a powerful vehicle for raising awareness about mental health. It is rich with references to psychiatric illnesses that have not been explored, dissected and documented until now.
Hip Hop Psych
Stranded in a Mob: Depression and Rap in 2015 How Kendrick Lamar, Earl Sweatshirt, Heems, and Future are destigmatizing mental illness.
Two words: Krizz Kaliko.

This is not mental illness
This section leaves a sour aftertaste.

Hate is not a mental illness. It is an inversion of fear of the unknown other into an illusion of power. That’s a heady cocktail for people who feel powerless. It’s an easy score these days, freely available online.
Hate is not a mental illness
Racism is not a mental illness
Why It’s So Important to Stop Conflating Racism With Mental Illness
There is absolutely no medical or scientific evidence linking mental illness to sexual orientation. Such unfounded personal opinions do no good to members of society who may be combating mental health issues.
It’s not about mental illness: The big lie that always follows mass shootings by white males
While in the 1970s it was believed that there was a connection between mental illness and terrorism, the current dominant belief, purported by Martha Crenshaw and others, is that terrorists are mentally healthy and rational. This dominant belief has recently been challenged by some publications, such as in particular Kamaldeep Bhui’s work on the connection between depression and isolation and radicalization in UK Muslims, as well as a number of other studies that inquire whether suicide bombers could actually be suicidally depressed, for example.
Mental illness and Terrorism

It rhymes with society.

“The blues are because you’re getting fat or maybe it’s been raining too long. You’re sad, that’s all. But the mean reds are horrible. You’re afraid and you sweat like hell, but you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Except something bad is going to happen, only you don’t know what it is. …” — “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Truman Capote

If depression is a “black dog,” Kat Kinsman writes, then anxiety is a feral cat.
Living with anxiety, searching for joy.
Anxiety, you’re not the boss of me

Tl;dr they haven’t solved any problems yet.

What Causes Bipolar Disorder? Aside From Genes, These Are The Things Most Likely To Increase Your Risk
Psychosurgeons burn away mental illness with lasers.
Korean and American Researchers Isolate Genes Triggering Mental Disorders
CHMP Backs Three Generics for Major Mental Illnesses (tl;dr cymbalta, abilify, lyrica)
A Blood Test for Mental Illness in Women?
For women with bipolar disorder, sleep quality affects mood. Sleep quality affects the mood of every human that ever was.
Military women who develop postpartum depression are more likely to be diagnosed later with another mental illness and are at higher risk for considering suicide than those who dodge the condition, according to a new report by the Armed Forces Health Surveillance Center.
Study into older people and mental health support.
Mental Healthcare Big Data Warehouse Illuminates Care Trends.
Comorbid anxiety ‘a crucial target’ for treatment in bipolar disorder. Half of us get it.
Genetic Underpinnings of Intermediate Phenotypes in Psychosis

Stigma of the dump
The tl;dr of this entire section can be summed up by saying that people with mental illnesses are treated like shit. It’s not news.


Survey shows up shunning of the mentally ill.
Mental health tags damaging and unhelpful.
This Campaign Is Shattering Stereotypes About People of Color With Mental Illness.
45 Truths People With Bipolar Disorder Wish Others Understood.
8 Misconceptions about Mental Health and Mental Illness.
Crazy talk: The language of mental illness stigma.
My anxiety is only exacerbated by the fact that Muslim and Arab culture does not easily accept mental illness, often chalking it up to some sort of spiritual deficiency. I have been told by well-meaning but, frankly speaking, ignorant Muslims that if I just prayed harder, Allah would remove this trial from my life, or that my sins are the cause of my episodes of depression.
Muslim, bipolar and still unmarried.
Living with a bipolar spouse. Also a Muslim article.
Mental illness discrimination common in New Zealand.
Black Canadians and the fight for mental health awareness.


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I went to see “H {N)Y P N(Y} OSIS”, (http://www.armoryonpark.org/programs_events/detail/philippe_parreno) Phlippe Parreno’s show at the Park Avenue Armory (an enormous venue) which my brother Asad Raza produced. It made me think, think, think. It plucked at many of the chords and strings in my heart. There were lights, as in marquee lights, there was piano music. There were films projected onto giant screens. One of them was of a train going through a green landscape, with people standing by and watching it go. They had 1950’s clothes on, there were 1950’s cars standing around. People were grouped into young and old, african americans, asians, mixed groups. Was it showing us that we missed the train on race relations, the environment? It had a post apocalyptic feel to me. Another film was the inside of an apartment, again with a 1950’s look, with a narrator (a sweet female voice) telling us about the apartment and its furnishings, etc. Also, in this film, a real ink fountain pen was writing things in a notebook, and then scribbling them out and then writing everything twice so it looked like the writing was three dimensional. The person attached to the hand that was doing the writing, was he descending into madness? Something strange was going on. Finally the camera pulled back, farther and farther to show that the apartment was a set, surrounded by a film crew and all the technology and equipment needed to make a film. Also a child came out and started talking. I happened to catch her speaking about Heidegger, “Thus we ask now: even if the old rootedness is being lost in this age, may not a new ground and foundation be granted again to man, a foundation and ground out of which man’s nature and all his works can flourish in a new way even in the atomic age?” (the same quote I heard in the Tate Modern show a few years ago. This made me think of continuity, how things assimilate and relate in our lives!) It also made me think about what is art? How big does something have to be in order to matter? Should I be doing something big with my life? Big as in a show in a giant hall of an armory! Am I capable of doing something that big? Obviously, you don’t start that big, you work up to it. Am I able to put aside my fear and create something, say something meaningful? Am I able to put aside my “laziness” to do something on a grand scale? Am I able to commit to something and then see it through? Do I need to do something? Am I not enough just as I am? Do I need to use my voice and speak out for something, against something? I have a brain, that despite bipolar disorder, works pretty well (lol), is it incumbent on me to use it for the greater good? Isn’t it enough just to be a pretty face, hahaha.
My brother, Asad, (https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=asad%20raza%20art) has done all these things. He has steadily been making a name for himself. He started with Tino Sehgal​ a few years ago, producing his shows, at the Guggenheim (the whole gallery was theirs for weeks!) at the Tate Modern in London, in Rio, in Athens, in Paris, and many other places. He wrote a book with Hans Ulrich Obrist called “Ways of Curating.”
He has steadily, and without much fanfare, been working his butt off, and creating a name for himself in the art world, not to mention a stellar and extensive resume. I am so proud of him, his hard work and dedication, and vision. He is my baby brother and I couldn’t be more proud of him and his accomplishments or love him more! Now to learn from all that he’s done and do something myself. Believe in myself and commit to something bigger than myself and then like Nike, Just Do It! Hmmmm, lets see what life has in store for me, or maybe what I have in store for life.