100 questions, 100 answers

Nicked this meme from the shouty, sweary queen of caps lock.

1.How are you, really?

Melancholy bifuckingpolar depression.
2. How do you feel right now? What are you thinking about?
Miserable as sin and sighing my way towards my daily dose of pill-induced oblivion or pill-negating wakefulness. I’m doing my best not to think, it only gets me into trouble.
3.What’s your favorite color?
Apparently 40% of humanity (plus me) prefers blue.
4. What’s your favorite food.?
Oranges. They’re not the only fruit.
5. What’s your favorite dessert?
Just ones. And if they’re off the menu, I’ll take a slice of humble pie with whipped scream and I scream.
6. How old are you?
7. What have you learned today?
That vision zooming in and out like a lens can be a sign of epilepsy.
8. What was your favorite subject in school?
9. What do you do?
When there’s work, I write and edit in a freelancery fashion.
10. What are some of your favorite books?
Lord of the Rings, After Dark (Murakami), Pattern Recognition (William Gibson), Generation X (Douglas Coupland), the.powerbook (Jeanette Winterson), Trencherman (Eben Venter), The Long Silence of Mario Salviati (Etienne le Roux), The Life and Times of Michael K (JM Coetzee), Manda Scott’s Boudicca series, My Name is Asher Lev (Chaim Potok)… etc
11. What are some of your favorite movies?
Lord of the Rings, Cool Hand Luke, Drunken Master, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Three Colours: Blue, Big Blue, The Matrix.
12. What kind of music are you into?i
Alt rock, pop, and country. Alt most things. Ballads by beautiful boys with guitars, or women with sublime voices. Old school hip hop. Thrash metal, Classical music that’s heavy on the strings. Bout the only thing that makes me want to stab my own eardrums is R&B, but you can stick most mainstream chart stuff up your ass too.
Upbeat playlist:


13. If you were going to write a book, what would you call it and what would it be about?
The Blank Page. It’d be empty.
14. What’s one of the scariest things you’ve ever done?
Telling my mum I’m queer.
15. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
Banishing abuse flashbacks.
16. Are you married?
17. How did you meet your spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend?
I’ll let you know.
18. Do you think it’s better to get married when you’re young or better to wait a while?
19. Do you have any kids?


Ex-stepkids are still in my life, plus a moomin.
20. Have you ever thought of adopting?
21. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A veterinarian, a bartender, a medical technologist, a journalist, an archaeologist, English literature PhD, happy.
22. How did you get into your profession?
Luck and lies.
23. Would you recommend your profession to other people? Why / Why not?
Nope, there’s little enough work to go round and I think you’d be just darling as a rocket scientist.
24. What do you do for fun?
What is this ‘fun’ of which you speak? It seems like that word is halfway between love and hate where activities are concerned and I’m an extremist. Reading, listening to music, looking at art, watching wildlife, taking photos, making love and fucking.
25. Do you like traveling?
It was a major thing for me when I was younger, but when I travel now, I ache to be back home with my dog and my sky.
26. If you could visit any country in the world, where would you go?
27. Who are some people you’d like to meet someday?
I don’t know.
28. If someone asked you to give them a random piece of advice, what would you say?
Enjoy failure, it’s the best advice I know.
29. What’s one of your favorite habits you have?
Bad puns.
30. What are some things that make you really happy?
Please refer to my replies to question 24.
31. What are some things that make you really sad?


32. What are some things that scare you?
Loss, phones, forms, general admin and frogs.
33. Do you like to plan things out in detail or be spontaneous?
Plan, since realising that spontaneity kept wrecking my life.
34. Are you a religious person?
No, I’m not even spiritual.
35. If you could go back in history, who would you like to meet?
History can mean five minutes ago, so – my mother.
36. Would you rather live in the country or in the city?
37. What was your life like growing up?
38. What were you like in high school?
Runty, quiet, loner.
39. Do you have any brothers or sisters? How many?
Lots and none at all.
40. What’s your favorite part about today so far?
41. Who in your life has influenced you the most? How did they do it?
My mother, just by being who she was.
42. What’s your favorite joke?


Thank fuck this was online, there’s no way I was going to type it out.
The lone ranger gets captured by the Apache Indians. They inform Lone that before they kill him they will give him one wish. Lone says, “I want to talk to Silver (his horse, of course). So he walks over to Silver and wispers some thing into his ear and Silver runs off across the plains. About a half hour later, Silver returns with a very beautiful naked blonde woman on his back.
The Indians were very impressed with this and decided to give him fifteen minutes with the blonde and another wish.
Lone went with the blonde and when he returned the Indians asked, “What do you want for your second wish”. Lone said, “I want to talk to Silver”. Lone again whispered into Silvers ear and Silver ran across the plains. Returning about a half hour later, Silver had a georgous naked redhead on his back. The Indians gave him fifteen minutes with this redhead.
The Indians thought that it was so noble of this white man to want these beautiful women as his dying wish that they decided to give him just one more wish. Lone said, “I want to talk to Silver”.
This time Lone walked over to Silver and tugged rather hard on his mane and kind of cranked his head into an awkward position and said, ” I said ‘posse’ You stupid animal, ‘posse’.
43. Have you ever tried sushi? (Did you like it?)
Yes I love it.
44. Do you like spicy food?
45. How do you like your steak cooked?
Medium rare when my stomach is okay and embarrassingly medium when it isn’t.
46. Do you have a favorite number? Any particular reason why you like that number?
47, a friend of mine used it whenever a random number was useful so eventually I did too.
47. If you were a type of animal, what would you be and why?
48. What’s one of the strangest things you’ve ever done?
49. What kind of vacations do you like?
Game reserves, cities I’ve never been to.
50. What are some of your major goals in life?


Outlive my dog by a day.
51. What are some of your smaller goals in life?
Get the house cleaned properly before rg gets here, see my fever tree grow sturdy enough to survive safely.
52. What do you like least about yourself?
Bipolar disorder.
53. What embarrasses you?
Seeming foolish.
54. If you could try out any job for a day, what would you like to try?
55. What’s your earliest memory?
Sitting in a junk shop talking to my godmother on the phone, telling her I’d lost my purple crayon.
56. What’s the best decision you ever made?
To go to the psychiatrist I still see.
57. Who’s your best / closest friend?
My dog.
58. What do you think people think of you?
Intelligent, funny, talks too much, pain in the ass.
59. What were your grades like in school?
They ranged from high to low.
60. If you could learn one random skill, what would you learn?
61. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Introvert, except when manic.
62. Have you ever taken a personality test? (How did the results turn out?)
Yeah, many. Apparently I do have a personality.
63. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Their clothes.
64. Do you think people can control their own destiny?
The dictionary says destiny means 1. the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future 2. the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate.
I plead chaos theory and the butterfly effect.
65. Do you think all people are equally valuable, or do you think some people in certain situations might be more valuable than others (say, a severely retarded patient vs. a doctor who could potentially save hundreds of lives)?
On that sort of practical level, of course some are more valuable, that’s a stupid question. On a hippie level, we’re all equally valuable. Om. 
66. Do you think people are basically bad or basically good?
67. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, and practices of individuals or groups?
Universal and influenced by all those other concepts.
68. Do you think God exists?
69. Do you think any kind of afterlife exists?
70. Do you vote? Why / Why not? If you do vote, how do you usually vote?
Yes/it’s my civic responsibility/none of your damn business.
71. Do you think gay people choose to be gay? Do you think straight people choose to be straight?
There’s scientific proof that it’s genetic in men and last time I looked, they were starting research into females.
72. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when?
Never. Okay maybe if it’d save a child. Ack.
73. Would you kill an innocent person if you thought it might mean saving a dozen other people?
I don’t know and I hope I never have to find out.
74. What’s the most money you’ve ever given away?
None of your business.
75. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve ever made?
Adhering to routines.
76. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?
Moving continents repeatedly.
77. What do you think would be one of the best steps we could take toward ending poverty around the world?
Reboot society.
78. What do you think we could do to best improve the education system?
Pay teachers handsomely.
79. In general, what do you think about art?
The only art I dislike is theatre.
80. What are some of your favorite websites?
Whut? It’s all about the apps now.
81. What’s the biggest turnoff in a man/woman?
82. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?
I can’t tell you.
83. What’s something most people don’t know about you?
That being very intelligent doesn’t preclude me being incredibly unintelligent in some areas.
84. What’s something you wish everyone knew about you?
That being very intelligent doesn’t preclude me being incredibly unintelligent in some areas.
85. What are some of the first things you do in the morning?
Open the door for my dog, pee, feed the dog, check my phone and tablet.
86. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?
My mother’s death.
87. Do you cry easily?
Didn’t cry for many years, now I cry very easily indeed.
88. How do you feel about public speaking?
Oddly, considering my general social awkwardness, I’m comfortable with it.
89. Do you like to talk on the phone?
Hate, loathe, detest (except when it’s one of the chosen few, then I love it).
90. How many emails do you get each week, roughly?
Spam filters on, notifications off; I probably get a handful of worthwhile emails a week.


91. If someone were to make a movie about your life, who would you hope would play you?
Keanu Reeves
92. What’s one of your favorite questions to ask new friends or to get a conversation going?
How is your heart?
93. Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump?
Yes and no respectively.
94. Have you ever been in a fist fight?
A grouchy shortass punched me feebly in the back while I was washing dishes once, because apparently I thought I was so cool. An equally feeble slap in the face sorted her out.
95. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled?
I don’t think I’ve ever pulled one.
96. What did you do on your 16th birthday?
I have absolutely no idea.
97. What do you think is one of the most undervalued professions right now?
Teachers, we pay them peanuts and then trust them with the minds and safety of the next generation.
98. How would you explain your basic life philosophy?
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Gandalf said that.
99. Would you rather be hated or forgotten?
Forgotten. If I wind up loathed, it means I died without becoming a better person than I was at the start of this whole life thing.
100. If you knew you would die tomorrow, would you feel cheated today?
Yes and no.

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