Daily Archives: February 7, 2015

Leibster Award

Apparently Lecy at “Simple Life Happy Wife  has nominated me for  a Leibster Award.  It’s a blogging award for small bloggers, which Lord knows I am.   I have to answer 11 questions about myself, post 11 random facts about myself, and nominate 11 other small bloggers.  Hm.  Well, here goes.

My eleven questions are:

  1.  How did you decide on the name of your blog?

The domain name is my name with my middle initial.  My blog is “Day by Day” because it’s an account of how I struggle with bipolar disorder to make every day count for something.

  2.  How many unread emails are sitting in you inbox? (be honest!)
None.  I’m an email addict.
  3.  What is your favorite food?
Chocolate almost anything
  4.  What is one wardrobe staple you can’t live without?  (mine is hoodie sweatshirts)
My white capri pants for summertime.  I love them.
  5.  Do you have children?
  6.  What is your favorite social media platform and why?
I like Facebook because I can keep up with long-distance connections from forever ago.
  7.  What is something you do, smell, taste that immediately takes you back to your childhood?
See my mom.
  8.  What is the best thing (in your opinion) about blogging?
That it is so immediate.  You make an immediate connection with your readers without intermediaries.
  9.  What is your guilty pleasure?
Designer purses
10.  Where state/country are you from?
11.  What 5 things do you always have to keep in your purse/bag?
Wallet, pens, two checkbooks, cellphone
11 random facts about myself.
1. I am a native Mississippian and I have never lived anywhere else.
2. I have three children, all girls
3.  I went to Mississippi State University
4. I finished my Bachelor’s degree at age 19
5 I have six unsold novels written
6 This is my fourth blogging attempt
7. I used to blog about Mississippi reality TV stars
8.  I was a Girl Scout when I was young
9. I was a freelance writer for ten years
10. I used to rollerskate for exercise (read about it at “Rollerskaing Over Forty”)
11.  I still use a Nokia phone with a little retractable antenna.
Nominating other bloggers.  Okay
1.  Jesse Yancy at “Made In Mississippi” at http://www.jesseyancy.com
2. Beth Kander at “A Little Pixie Magic” http://www.alittlepixiemagic.com
3. Beverly Lynnt at “Working Through Bipolar” at http://www.beverlylynnt.wordpress.com
. 4. Hillary at “No Pens or Pencils” at http://www.nopensorpencils.blogspot.com
5. Reayn at “The Scarlet B” at http://www.thescarletb.com
6. Kitt O’Malley at www.kittomalley.com
8.  Eve at “Positively Eve” at http://www.positivelyeve.wordpress.com
11. Dyane at “Proudly Bipolar” at http://www.proudlybipolar.wordpress.com
 Whew,  Now I have to find out how to display the award.  Thanks all!

#NOMORE Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault

Today I received the following email from the NOMORE Project. When I was in my mid-twenties I worked as an administrator for a battered woman’s shelter after volunteering on their crisis line. My exposure to domestic violence left me with…

Tired But Happy

Had another sleepover last night–eight ten-year-olds all happy and getting along.  They played musical chairs, had a talent programs, played with American Girl dolls, and watched two movies before crashing around 11 p.m.   So I got some sleep at least,.

Went to my psychiatrist yesterday and everything seems to be on an even keel. Got prescriptions for the new medicine regimen and a follow-up appointment in three months.  He was happy my surgery went well and that everything seemed to be moving along well.

Got a letter from the English department head for another college I’m trying to adjunct for.  His letter did not sound hopeful that I could get any classes in creative writing, but he encouraged me to apply and sent me an application to fill out online. I did that and sent it back.  So we will see.  All I can ask for is an opportunity and see what they say.  And pray. I just need direction in whether or not to sign up  for classes at my current position or not.  I feel pulled between the status quo and just doing the creative writing teaching and see how that goes.  I don’t know what I would do with my time if I weren’t teaching at the community college I’m at now.  But I feel so depressed at the idea of grading papers tonight that I know I’m doing a disservice to the kids not wanting to be there.

I hope you enjoyed the poetry; most of you seemed to.  I may post more as I look through my collection. I haven’t written serious poetry in at least 15 years, so it’s all old stuff.  But some of it may interest some of you.

20 Days of Valentines—Day 11

Shy Romance

Click His Shyness to find him on Etsy.

I Will Have No Part In It


I was directed to this post by a Facebook comment.
I know that people are all on separate sides o this issue. I am really trying to find fault in a series that I have read. But I am having a hard time, aside from sex before being married I do not understand what the problem is. I understand that there are people who do not participate in the sexual aspects of this book. That is fine! But to condemn or act like someone that does enjoy these out of the box things is evil or wicked I think is a serious over reaction.

As far as weather it’s pornography or not, that I don’t know. I actually feel like the lack of open communication and minds on this subject is part of what contributes to abuse. Time after time you here , especially children of abuse say they thought it was wrong but that it was someone they loved and so they thought it was normal, or at least something they shouldn’t talk about. Our children and women are being exploited and abused because we keep our mouths shut.
While I absolutely believe what happens between you and your husband/wife is sacred I’ve met too many young girls or women that have no idea what they need to do because no one has ever really talked to them. We put a big red stop sign over the word sex and hope that when our girls get married they aren’t abused and that if they happen to find themselves in that situation they will know it’s wrong by and get out. How could they possibly know? Did someone ever tell them that if their spouse is using sex in any way that THAT is not healthy.

My thing is this if my husband and I have plain boring sex or sex with toys, and role playing, and yes being tied up or spanked that’s really none of anyone’s business. But to make people feel evil or wicked for what goes on in their marital bedroom isn’t right. Obviously there is zero understanding or tolerance. Please notice that I speak of a consensual marital sexual relationship here. Anything else is wrong, period. But to insinuate that somehow this one movie will be the downfall of society is a little far fetched.

Lastly, I have the up most respect and compassion for people who are abused especially as children. It breaks my heart that people are forced to live through that and that none of the adults in their worlds stop it or protect them. NO ONE should never be exposed or forced to do anything that they don’t want to do. No child should ever have their trust and body violated by someone who is supposed to be protecting them. I just don’t think that this book/movie rises to the height that some people seem to be taking it.
Also, a note on pornography. I HATE it!! And I believe it is truly demeaning, however it is something those people choose to do and I am not the one to judge that. And as sad as it may be sex movie or not abusers are going to abuse and if the people(adults) around them stay silent THAT is the true travesty and will indeed be the downfall of this earth. We can’t stop it. That’s the way God made it. But as an adult in this world that has real world experience with abuse I won’t allow anyone in my circle to suffer in silence. If I k ow of or suspect abuse I will be speaking out and I WILL not be silent as too many adults have been in the past.

I’m sure I’ve stepped on some toes here. That wasn’t really my intention. But if people are going to raise their voice against something they haven’t actually read or truly researched for themselves I’m going to speak out on the opposite side. Especially, when the facts are grossly misstated.

Originally posted on Everyday Surrender:


A little over a week from now, a movie will premiere that is reported to be taking the box office by storm. People will spend their money to watch grotesque pornography, in a movie theater with hundreds of other movie goers sitting right next to them.
As one magazine contributor said,

“We Americans get really angry when oil companies spill toxic fuel in our oceans; yet we applaud when Hollywood dumps a tanker of poisonous garbage like Fifty Shades of Grey on our country—with no offer to clean up the damage. We should be outraged!” (J. Lee Grady, CharismaMagazine, 2015)

The pornographic book, Fifty Shades of Grey, and it’s sequels have grossed millions in profit sales, and now our husbands, wives, grandparents, daughters, sons, grandchildren, friends, students…will be treated to the movie.
It was announced this week that they have dropped the rating from NC-17 (No Children Under 17) to…

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postmodernism can kiss my mulish ass

I’m either headed for PMS or a mixed episode *grin* you’ll see what I mean if you read this post. Sorry I haven’t answered comments lately, just had a rather rough few days – no train smashes, I just get silent sometimes. Thank you for your beautiful words about grief etc.


Chin up, stiff upper lip, pull yourself straight and fly right, straighten your spine, tally ho, onwards and upwards, get stoic. That is almost always bad advice. What it’s telling you is that you must be unbending, unyielding and immovable, which would make you brittle and that will make you as vulnerable as you were before all of that straightening and stiffening. You can make up your own simile and be something that bends but doesn’t break, if you want to. Really though, unless you are (like) a doormat, you’ll probably get by with a mixture of being yourself and accepting help.


There’s a movement out there squeaking don’t label, don’t pathologise, don’t other us, just accept us blah blah blaaahhh. Such people have totally ‘bipolar’ views, on the one hand it’s all I love you just the way you are and on the other, get this book/course it’ll change your life, self, behaviour. Whut? You can’t have both, unless you alter the manifesto to say accept us while we adapt to become more like you.


I will admit here and now, to being otherwise, contrary and as stubborn as a mule. Apart from driving directions or work, I will probably resist instructions. Passive aggro is my thing. All I’m saying, is that the gung go approach doesn’t work on me. I imagine it’s frustrating for whoever is trying to help me. I’ve tried to change; I just end up with a fireball inside me, just waiting for an excuse to erupt and close airports. I’m not proud of it, although it has done me as much good as bad.

Warning, unhelpful advice ahead.



I will say this yet again too. Whenever I hear someone suggesting meds free treatment for bipolar, I want to gnash my teeth, then cry. In case any of you irresponsible fools are reading this, nutrition and psychology cannot fix a NEUROTOXIC problem. They also cannot stave off BRAIN DAMAGE, EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA AND EXCESS CORTISOL PRODUCTION. I loathe caps lock, which ought to give you an idea of the extent of my weepy, gnashing attitude.


Head and Heart Full: “Time to Talk” 2015

Newcastle city centre, 5 February 2015

Newcastle city centre, 5 February 2015

“May I be excused, please? My brain is full.” – Caption from a “Far Side” cartoon

By the end of Thursday’s “Time to Talk” day in Newcastle, both my head and my heart were filled to overflowing.

At times, my emotions can be quite close to the surface. It’s how I mainly experience my bipolar these days. Part way through the “lived experience” talks, and most of the films, I found my eyes tearing up. The temptation to run out of the room crossed my mind more than once.

A criticism? Far from it. I, and most of the audience, also laughed many times during the films, and the talks by the “Time to Change Champions”, who shared their personal experiences of mental health.

I hugged several volunteers. Not this chap. Daleks aren't big on volunteering.

I hugged some volunteers. Not this chap I met in Newcastle, though.

Not long after I arrived at “Disability North”, the room began buzzing as people signed in, grabbed a coffee or tea and, of course, began to chat. Angela, the event organiser, put some “Time to Change” films on. To give us something more to talk about. Not to discourage conversation.

It was “Time to Talk” day, after all.

Schizo“, a mock-horror film on the realities of living with schizophrenia, received a good reception. When “The Stand Up Kid” came on, the room quickly fell silent, save for the sounds of a lad talking to his classmates on his first day back at school, after being off with depression. The film is also a powerful depiction of the sort of stigma – bullying, really – which people with mental health problems can experience at the hands of the cruel, and the ignorant.

It was an experience the “Time to Change Champion” who spoke to the audience at Thursday’s event knew only too well. My mental health troubles came later in life than his. Nor did I have to live through the horrors which he did. Nevertheless, there were enough similarities that not only did my eyes fill up again, but, once again, I considered leaving the room.

I stayed. And I, and the rest of the people present, gave this true “Champion” the appreciation he deserved: our tears, our laughter, and our heart-felt applause.

If in this blog I seem to bang-on about mental health in general, and bipolar in particular, well, there’s a reason.

I’ve seen what mental health – and the stigma around it – can do to people’s lives, and the lives of those who care about them. I’ve talked to people who’ve been, and are, there.

And I’ve been there myself, more times than I care to remember.

It’s still “Time to Change”. And there’s always “Time to Talk”.

Cuppa and a bun, anyone?

A delightful mural from a Newcastle cafe, where I chatted about mental health with friends

A delightful mural from a Newcastle cafe, where some friends and I chatted about mental health


At Home Again

The drive home was good, nothing special happened and we made it home safe and sound. I had a good day and my mood was good.

I am however exhausted and can’t find my laptop wifi thingy to really be able to write on my blog so I am gonna keep it short.

Once again, loved seeing my BFF it made the whole trip worth it. She felt so good to hug. This is what family (good family) feels.