searches, side effects, sisters of mercy

“Nobody wants to hear you cry about the grief inside your bones.”
“When I thought I hit bottom, it started hitting back.”

From Andrea Gibson – The Madness Vase (spoken word) & you can find it as text here.


I have a youtube playlist with a fair few merry/morbid choons about bipolar on it. Link is on the film and music page of this blog.
Modest Mouse – Manic Depressive Named Laughing Boy

I’ve been on 200mg lamotrigine for about 4 days now – another bout of heartburn and upset stomach is welcoming me to what might be my regular dose. Judging by past dose increases, the side effects will vanish within a week or two. I might get the rash I’ve had a few times – strange constellations of very small red dots, that don’t itch or hurt. It’ll be good if lamotrigine works out; it gives me so little trouble compared to seroquel and lithium. It’s nice to be able to think cool, I hope this works, rather than something like oh hell, please make the puking stop.
Noisy: Queens of the Stone Age – Medication (Live in Detroit 2005)
Quiet: Modest Mouse – Medication


A recent search term in my blog stats: suicide note diaries bipolar. I’ve tried and failed suicide twice; I didn’t write notes. Just as well, since I’m alive. I can completely understand the fascination with suicide, but I refuse to glorify it; death is always a tragedy even when it isn’t. If you see what I mean.
Johnny Mandel – Suicide is Painless (Theme from M*A*S*H 1970)

The other search term that still keeps coming up is bipolar nun so I’m glad I wrote a post about it, even I still don’t have a clue what they’re actually looking for. And I guess there’s always Sister Maria Euthymia, purely for the lols.
Leonard Cohen – Sisters of Mercy (Live in London 2009)

(My life is riddled with sad songs that console me.)


Holy Batman in a blanket fort!

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