Daily Archives: December 29, 2014

This is one of those entries designed to analyze that previous year and look forward to the next one. Believe me, there are big chunks of the previous year I do NOT want to analyze, and I’m pretty tired to look forward to next year. But I thought I’d give it a whirl:

Things I am doing right:

-Taking meds as prescribed. This is no easy feat considering how many I take. My husband is a great help here. I’d really like to get off a few of my meds but I don’t know if that will happen. Whenever I try to cut back, I get some depression or excess sleepiness or some other problem.

-Seeing doctors. Psychiatrist and psychologist once a month (more if needed). Dentist, physical, mammogram, you get the idea. I’m pretty healthy physically except for my weight and triglycerides. My blood pressure is good and all the female stuff is about where it should be. My teeth are all caught up and don’t need work. I’m even all caught up on my glasses which is a big help with all this computer work.

-Going to church probably 3 times per month. Doing some missions work there such as bringing in food and shampoo in large quantities for the shelters. Making a few acquaintances. (It’s nice to be greeted by name at church.)Am attending a women’s support group designed to help me lead a more purposeful and devoted life. It’s helping. Reading the Bible and devotionals daily.

-Keeping up with my friends. Keeping eyes open for new friends and dropping friends that aren’t helping my mental health. Having some problems here with canceling on people. They know I have bipolar, but it’s still irritating I am sure to have someone cancel on you when you had planned an event.

-Blogging. Getting those feelings out. Making a few blog friends and having a few blog “victories”. For example, I have 98 followers. Two more and I can get excited! The blogging has been a real help this last few months. Since I just started blogging off the top of my head I am taking a “101” course in blogging starting in January on how to do everything. I hope to bring you a dazzling new blog in 2015. (Just kidding…)

-Working with NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness). Doing speaking engagements and helping to run a support group. The speaking engagements are tough. Baring your soul in front of large groups of strangers can be really intimidating. But I think it is good for me. It brings the stigma down for both me and for the audience. Helping to run the support group is easier. It also reminds me of how far I’ve come. When I see newcomers medicated, glazed, and silent or crying, I thank God for my situation.

-Improving relationships with about six different sets of relatives. I’m speaking to two aunts out of state. I’ve had my husband’s cousin and his wife over twice. I’ve gone out to eat and had tea with another cousin. I had my sister-in-law and family over for Thanksgiving and attended a college graduation. I need to keep working on my niece and nephews. However, from what I’ve seen lately my niece is a little witch so that should be interesting. I’m also trying to build something with my brother who just got out of prison.

-Mentoring one young person with MI. There may be a chance to do the same with another. I enjoy this to no end and need to get my courage up to contact my new prospect to see if he might like to have coffee.

-Cooking dinner. I am providing a home cooked meal for four people and usually freezing a fifth helping for my son who lives across town. This is a big deal and takes some effort.

THINGS I’D LIKE TO ADD IN FOR 2015:

Most of this focuses around my weight and activity. I DON’T expect to do all this at once. This is more of a lifestyle I’d like to work into by next year.

-Quit canceling on people because I feel depressed. If I make a date I need to keep it. I have got to learn to be dependable. It’s weird though, sometimes when I am depressed I feel immobile…like there is no way I can move. Now I don’t feel too guilty when I cancel appointments with doctors, etc., but I need to show up with friends. One reason I think people have stayed with me as a friend is because I stay in contact with them regularly through text and talk and keep up with their lives. I don’t think a lot of friends do that.

-Get off of the couch and out of bed. It’s fine to rest in the afternoon….or to listen to an audiobook…in other words be in bed for a specific reason…but spending all day on the couch in my pajamas has got to go.

-Learn to ice skate. I’d like to be able to skate around in a circle at the rink. There’s a rink close and they have adult beginner classes. It’s $18 to drop in for one class. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while. I might as well try.

-Attend book club. It’s free and I like the books. I’ve read the books for the past two months but have not gotten there. I am currently reading the book for this month. I mean, gee, how hard can this be? I’m not afraid of going in alone, just too lazy to get dressed.

-Do some activities: hike around on some flat, easy paths (husband and son will go), take dogs for a walk (dogs are willing), do yoga for fat people DVD, do DVD for senior using weights, go to gym for treadmill and senior weight classes. I’d like to get up to 30 minutes per day of SOMETHING. This is supposed to relieve depression and maybe could help me get off some meds.

-Get regular massage. Once a month is supposed to help depression. Well, okay.

-Think about volunteering at school. My daughter could use help at her teaching job. I’d like to go on Fridays. But am scared I would cancel too much.

-Stay on my food program. Four shakes a day. Dinner that I cook. Lots of water. Salad as I want and need it. Weigh in every two weeks. Not tricky if I can get my husband to keep junk out of the house.

-My best friend. I think we have lost our relationship somehow. She’s working now but that’s not it. We both used to work and still found time to talk and get together. I don’t want to let that friendship just fall off the cliff. It IS a priority for me, but I don’t know where it stands for her. I just have to try.

There you have it. 2014-2015. Curious to see where it leads. Hope it is recovery.

Edited to add: Cannot believe I forgot this one. SHOWER at least every three days!

Aha, well this may explain the enormous (and when I say enormous, I really mean it) amounts of anxiety I’ve been feeling lately. The increase in Seroquel may well be the culprit! I’ve been thrashing around in my sleep even, as my friend “Blahpolar” amazingly surmised. Seroquel increases epinephrine (adrenalin) and norepinephrine (noradrenaline.) Which are involved in the fight or flight response, also in alleviating depression, as well as in causing anxiety, aha!

I have been having awful anxiety and now my muscles are starting to get very stiff, another adverse effect of Seroquel.

Ah yes, as it saves you, it also kills you. Have to be vigilant about the beginning of these adverse effects and cut them off at the pass, Kimosabe.

Well at least it’s good to know what is likely happening with me. Thank you Blahpolar for your ingenious understanding of my symptoms.

Below information about Seroquel side effects and adverse effects from : https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=does%20seroquel%20increase%20adrenalin

Seroquel Side Effects: Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction to Seroquel: hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.

Report any new or worsening symptoms to your doctor, such as: mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself.

Call your doctor at once if you have:

• a light-headed feeling, like you might pass out;
• very stiff (rigid) muscles, high fever, sweating, confusion, fast or uneven heartbeats, tremors;
• twitching or uncontrollable movements of your eyes, lips, tongue, face, arms, or legs;
• mask-like appearance of the face, trouble swallowing, problems with speech;
• breast swelling or discharge (in men or women), missed menstrual periods, impotence, loss of libido;
• blurred vision, tunnel vision, eye pain, or seeing halos around lights; or
• sudden weakness or ill feeling, fever, chills, cold or flu symptoms, cough, sore throat, red or swollen gums, painful mouth sores, skin sores, trouble breathing.

Common Seroquel side effects may include:

• dizziness, drowsiness, loss of energy, tired feeling;
• increased appetite, weight gain;
• dry mouth; or
• nausea, vomiting, stomach pain or discomfort, constipation.

This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

Last night I was hit with an abdominal pain so strong it felt like labor.  I went and laid down in the bed for a while, Then tried going to the bathroom to relieve it.  I realized I was spotting red blood.  So after a half hour of it not going away, I got my husband moving and we went to the hospital.  It started to subside but just down to a dull ache.  SO a lot of poking and prodding later, the doctor decides to do a CT scan of my stomach at two a.m.  They found gallstones without active evidence of disease.  The pain’s gone this morning, so we don’t know what went on. He wasn’t convinced that the gallstones were causing the pain or the bleeding.  So I’m to call my ob-gyn about the bleeding and my doctor about the gallstones sometime today.  We’re operating on about 3 1/2 hours of sleep. So pray that if it is something to worry about, we’ll find out and that if it isn’t, I’ll never have any trouble again :).

I’m a bad one going to doctors because of my work with disability, I know the symptoms of everything that can kill you.  So my mind goes to the worst possible scenario every time,. And I’m bipolar so I blow everything out of proportion in my head.  I don’t bother the doctors a lot because I know this, but last night, I was convinced I had either an ectopic pregnancy or a ruptured cyst of some kind.  I listed off all these things I was worried about, and he asked if I had been googling stuff.  I said no, and my husband said she doesn’t have to.  :)  So that was my adventure last night.  Just pray that Bob can make it through the day at work.