Daily Archives: December 8, 2014

Anxiety and Fear

As many of you know, I took a rare mini vacation from my blog last week. I was overwhelmed. I’ve posted several times recently about the difficulty I’ve had lately trying to maintain balance in my life. I’m still struggling. At both my therapist and my pdoc suggested, I eliminated most of the obligations in […]

The post Anxiety and Fear appeared first on Insights From A Bipolar Bear.

One Step Forward, Two Seroqueled Steps Back

  Happy Monday, everyone! After I wrote my last post about my setback, I received such wonderful comments from you.  Some responses praised me for keeping my rage under wraps from my precious girls.  I can’t tell you how much your support … Continue reading

Buddha Quotes

Filed under: Buddhism Tagged: Buddha, inspiration, quotes, Wisdom


Had a very startling experience in church yesterday.  Our marriage and family pastor stood up in front of the church and confessed to an “inappropriate relationship” with another woman other than his wife.  The details aren’t important for this story; what’s important is that he asked forgiveness and resigned his position voluntarily.  He and his wife will go through counseling through our church and hopefully be able to put things back together again.

I write this because Bob and I had a very similar experience back in 2011. I had fallen into another obsession with a guy I barely knew—he was a co-worker of Bob’s that I had met only twice.  He was attractive and had a loopy personality and was very much married to his college sweetheart.  I had friended him on Facebook like I had several other people that worked with Bob and was eavesdropping on his life that way.  I talked it out and talked it out in therapy and would sometimes seem to be over it, but other times I couldn’t go a day without fantasizing about him.  Mid-July 2011 was one of those times.

One night the obsession was particularly intense.  I was wrapped up in thinking about him and wanted to talk to him, hear his voice again.  So I pulled out my cell phone, asked for information, and called him.  I felt fairly certain he wouldn’t know who I was—I have a cell phone that doesn’t show the identity of the caller, just the number if you have caller ID. I knew I wouldn’t be on there long; I literally just wanted to hear him talk.

He answered and I evaded his question when he wanted to know who was calling.  After a few more words, I said, “I just called because I wanted to hear your voice again.”

He said, “Ooo-kay.”  Then after a few more seconds of silence, he hung up.

A Bit Of Buddhist Wisdom

Filed under: Bad Experiences, Blessings, Buddha Nature, Good Experiences, gratitude, humanity, humility, learning, life, searching for meaning Tagged: Finding Blessing In All Phenomena, the Buddha, Wisdom

Wishing you a better holiday than me!

There have been so many times when I sat down to write and I deleted everything and left. I don’t know what’s going on with me lately, but I have not wanted to do anything I use to do. This doesn’t mean I am giving up on my blog, it just mean that I have …

A Little Something

When rapid cycling hits like this, I always feel like a hot mess.  The reality is never as bad as it feels inside, but sometimes that Truth is hard to find.  It helps to have a little something to show for my time.

I finished my Solstice Cards and got them sent out—a project that took two months exactly.  After a big project, I always feel at loose ends anyway.  With the bipolar stuff added on this time, I’m pretty goofy.  So, I tried to make a few cards for my Etsy site this weekend.  I haven’t done that in a while, and it helped.

My “Star Trek Line” isn’t hugely popular, but they make me happy.  That’s all that matters right now.  I’ll get these added to the inventory a little later today, but wanted to share—to prove that I’m still me inside the hot mess.

Double Ah


Daddy Issues

The Festering Season

I keep seeing blog posts about how to survive Christmas, which tend to assume that people have people to have it with. And the guides to how to survive Christmas alone often focus on how not to be alone.

It ain’t that simple.

And the guides that in essence say always look on the bright side can fuck the fucking fuck right off. Some of us are solitary, perverse and fucked up enough to know that embracing the inner Grinch works better than trying to find the happy. At least for the pressured and intense holiday fucking season. Of course, by solitary, perverse and fucked up, I meant tortured artists, geniuses and existentialists. (Or not.)

I love Christmas when things are going well and loathe it otherwise. I’m all fairweather, I know. But … it hurts and I know it hurts like hell for plenty of us maladjusted misfits, so here’s the asshole’s guide to surviving the holiday season.

Disclaimer: no offence to followers of Christ or Mithras intended, lots intended towards modern and postmodern society. And definitely no disrespect to happiness. Well. Maybe a bit.


Get Your Grinch On!

1. Your anthem, should you choose to accept it, is the Pogues’ Fairytale of New York. If you don’t already know it, shame on you and get thee hence to YouTube with alacrity and a blush. And then you too will be able to sing along: mumble mumble dunno the words mumble wait here it comes …

You’re a bum
You’re a punk
You’re an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it’s our last

If that doesn’t make you grin, you might be reading the wrong blog.

2. Oblivion. In keeping with the sodden and rotten theme of the anthem, you could also choose to get stupidly, seriously blind drunk. It’s legal and if you’re an adult (but not an addict) maybe it’ll work for you. Hide your phone and car keys first though. If you do it right, your Christmas hangover will blur and distract you all the way to New Year. (I don’t drink.)

3. If you’re rich, you could go somewhere they don’t celebrate Christmas. If you’re an entrepeneur, I suspect there’s a gap in the Christmas-free holiday market.

8 Places to Escape Christmas

4. Plenty of people hate Christmas for plenty of reasons. Google I hate Christmas or fuck Christmas or something to feel a little less alone about it. Maybe mutilated Father Christmas will make you smile (well, some kind of rictus).

5. Write bad tempered, alternate endings for those touchy feely Christmas classics Scrooge and How the Grinch Sold Out.

6. Roll your eyes at humanity’s fuckwittedness, for example these fools who reckon that after months of failing to teach their kids to stop being little shits, cancelling Christmas (but not completely) will do the trick. Muhahaha! No.

7. Start a revolution. Whatever kind you want. It’ll be safer if you just do it online. If you can’t think of a cause, try and overthrow the Westboro Baptist Church or something.


8. Cultivate an air of disdain. You can fake this by sitting around in cafés looking pissed off, with some absinthe, Gitanes and a copy of anything by Camus. Yes, the beret would be taking it too far. Curl your lip and wear black. Meet Henri le Chat Noir.

9. Irritate everyone by droning on about Beltane, Kwanzaa etc. Say “By Mithras!” a lot. Go off on a tangent about how if things had been different, commercialised Christmases would be all about the buy Mithras puns.


10. Wallow. Weep. Wail. Woe. Play Hurt by Johnny Cash as many times as possible. Draw your curtains. Don’t even bother turning on the TV,  you know it will just break your heart. Sleep a lot.

However horrible it is, it’s finite.

The mental illness monsters

Originally posted on Surviving As A Mentalist :

Toby Allen














‘The artwork is not at all intended to make light of these conditions but instead is intended to give these intangible mental illnesses some substance and make them appear more beatable as physical entities.’

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#reverb14: Kizzie Looks How This Year Feels

Reverb14 Day Seven — Self(ie)

Kizzer Wizzer

Kizzer Wizzer

Filed under: Reverb14 Tagged: animals, dog, pets, reverb, selfie