Feeling a bit better

The Wellbutrin kicks in fast. So does the Gabapentin. I’ve actually been productive for the past few days. Knitting a lot. Check out my knitting/craft blog. Knitted a lot today. Did some writing too, working on a memoir.

In quite a bit of pain. I hurt my good shoulder (left) and I have issues with my right (I fractured my humerus, shattered my shoulder and tore my rotator cuff just before 2012 and I’m waiting on surgery for my rotator cuff. It’s going to suck – 9 months of rehab. Ugh.

I’m feeling lonely. Supposed to go out tonight, but might not because a horse is sick. I was looking forward to it.

I really, really need to do laundry. I’ll take it to my parents tomorrow I suppose. Or just go down the street and pay for it. I have a lot to do. Ugh. I hate laundry.

Got my piportil shot yesterday. Went as per usual. My GP and I were talking about horses, and out of nowhere he asks me “Do you know what pony play is?” and I was like “Shit” to myself and said “Yea, its a fetish” and he said he had heard something about it on TV. I didn’t elaborate.

My moms in the US shopping for Christmas. Hopefully the weather is good. I miss talking to her a few times a day. It’s her birthday today. I got her a stuffed moose, some moose stationary, and knit her 2 hats and a matching scarf to one hat.

I had a massive panic attack last night. I had taken Tylenol 1′s for the pain, and I think the caffeine in it mixed with the Wellbutrin and Ritalin and made me super anxious. My roommate came home after I had chewed 2 clonazepam and taken my night meds to stop the attack. I went to bed early and slept well. Her talking to me calmed the attack down, but it was like, whoa, that came out of nowhere.

I need to go riding, but in all honesty, I’m getting bored with doing the same stuff over and over again. It sounds bad, I love Sully, but I can’t jump 4ft on him, the arena is too small to set up courses, so I’m just jumping 2-3 jumps. I haven’t been able to jump him this week and did flat work, which was pretty boring too. Maybe its just the mood episode? I do still love riding. I just want to do more.

The weather went from freezing and snowing to raining. Yesterday, I got stuck trying to get out of my parking space. It took a lot of rocking and hitting the accelerator to back up. I was in the easiest spot to get out of, too. I parked in the main lot for convenience.

Yea, I’m boring lately. I’ve been working on websites, and my own website. Knitting, which I’m a bit bored with too. I need to get out more. But I have very few friends, and I hate driving everywhere.

I think I’m just lazy.

I’m also losing weight again. Sigh.

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