The Sad, the Glad, and the Boring….

girlfriendsSo I’m having a bit of trouble with a girlfriend and I could use some advice. Not that I normally depend on my blog readers to be an advice gang, but just in case you are so moved.

Anyway, I met Lori because her husband plays poker with my husband. I liked her right away. She is a bit taller than me, which I love because I am 5′ 9″ and everyone usually makes me feel like a giraffe. We started going to movies, out shopping, out to eat, and doing lots of talking.

Now this was a low point for me. My best friend and I had “broken up”. I was heartbroken over the situation and told Lori all about it. She said she understood because she and her sister weren’t speaking either and it really left a hole in her life.

Our husbands liked each other and we liked each other’s husbands. We did some traveling together. All was good. Then I got depressed. Lori called one day and I told her I was just feeling down and needed some time. She responded by writing me this LONG letter saying how she just couldn’t be my friend right now as she had so much on her plate. I got back in touch with her and told her I didn’t need any support….I just needed to put our friendship on hold until I felt better. So I texted her here and there to say hi.

Now Lori hated her job. She went through a lot of stuff…a bankruptcy, a foreclosure, two job changes because she hated them, the death of a parent, and the adoption of five LARGE dogs in a rather small house. I knew she was stressed and even smelled a little depression in there.

So her husband announces at the last poker party that she has found a new job five minutes away from our house. I know the office she’s working at and it seems quite nice. So I texted her, said congratulations, and asked about having coffee or getting together after work as she was so close. She replied that she was exhausted from work and not doing much socializing. She said she would “talk to me soon”.

Well, that hurt my feelings. My stinky bipolar feelings. What should I do? Drop her as a friend? (I have others and don’t totally NEED her…I just like her). Text her in a month and ask how she is? Tell her husband to say hi when I see him at poker night? What do you guys think?

So on to the “glad” part of this entry. When I was teaching and had to go out on a medical Leave, the union rep really helped us. She told us that if I would be out for more than 12 weeks, I should look into the district’s short term health care disability insurance. I didn’t even know they had such a thing. I had heard of being able to buy this for yourself, but did not the district carried it for employees.

So after my 12 weeks was up, my husband looked into this disability insurance. I can tell you they were the unfriendliest people you have ever dealt with. They were rude, sarcastic, and never returned calls. They continually said they never received paperwork. (We finally got smart and had them sign for everything.) They were a mess, and our caseworker, Maria, had horns.

Finally, finally they approved us for disability through April of 2015. Then, they immediately started harassing us to apply for Social Security Disability. Anything I got from Social Security would be deducted from their payment so they were eager for us to get an award. Suddenly they were friendly and eager to help.

So every six months this group has called and wanted more paperwork. And they’re not kind about it. But we put up with it. The money is good…really what I was making before except that now you have to deduct insurance premiums out of it.

Now April 2015 was a few months off but we still worried a bit. Would they cut us off then? And sure enough, here came a HUGE packet of crap to fill out again. We got busy. We made long appointments with both my therapist and psychiatrist to do nothing but fill out paperwork together. We bribed the office staff with nice cards and cookies so they’d help us fax stuff in promptly. And it all worked. We got the paperwork in in record time.

There’s a little recording you can call that tells you the status of your claim. So my husband calls the other day to make sure it said “decision pending” and not “paperwork needed”. And the darned little thing said “Your claim has been approved through June of 2021.” My husband called it again so I could hear it. We about fell over.

I will be 62 in June of 2021, so I am thinking that must be why they picked that date. And Maria called yesterday to tell me I would have a new stalker,er, representative, from the company. But we are mighty happy so far.

So off to the “boring”. I am still struggling with the stringing together many days of normalcy and follow through. It’s like I can do two or three days well and then need to lay down for three days. Ridiculous. So let’s look back over the week so far. Saturday: went out to garage sales, came home and cooked chowder. Went to a couples group dinner. Sunday: Went to Sunday school and church, came home and watched a football game, made dinner. Monday, did light stuff around the house, went to women’s support group. Today: am finishing this blog, but not going to bipolar group or out with friend tonight (too tired). Also cancelled an appt for tomorrow and won’t do book club.

I’d sure like to string together a whole week of normal days. I’m starting to think this is my new “normal”. It’s sort of scary.

Thanksgiving is coming together. I have the menu made. We have 11 people for sure with a bunch of maybes. I did manage to invite that one guy from group so now everyone is invited. Progress.

hugs to all,


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