Just days after writing about recovery, and what a good place I was in, I woke up at the other end of the spectrum – depressed. How? Why? Who knows. There isn’t usually a reason though sometimes there’s a trigger – not this time – at least not that I recognized.
I had plans for the day. I was to go downtown to the rubber stamp store and make a greeting card with my stamping friends. I cancelled. I wasn’t in the mood to smile and make nice. I didn’t have the energy to pretend. Surprisingly it was a beautiful day outside – or at least it looked that way from the window. I wouldn’t find out. I chose not to get dressed. I stayed in my pyjamas all day – haven’t done that in a long while. I even went to bed for a couple of hours. Then I looked at the calendar – October – a month that for me is historically difficult.
Just goes to show you that you can go from baseline to depressed literally overnight – that you can turn around and get punched in the gut by this thing called bipolar. I try to fight back the tears knowing that things will change. Somehow they always do. So I think tomorrow is another day, and this too shall pass.
I had plans for the day. I was to go downtown to the rubber stamp store and make a greeting card with my stamping friends. I cancelled. I wasn’t in the mood to smile and make nice. I didn’t have the energy to pretend. Surprisingly it was a beautiful day outside – or at least it looked that way from the window. I wouldn’t find out. I chose not to get dressed. I stayed in my pyjamas all day – haven’t done that in a long while. I even went to bed for a couple of hours. Then I looked at the calendar – October – a month that for me is historically difficult.
Just goes to show you that you can go from baseline to depressed literally overnight – that you can turn around and get punched in the gut by this thing called bipolar. I try to fight back the tears knowing that things will change. Somehow they always do. So I think tomorrow is another day, and this too shall pass.
