Ugh, I’ve had insomnia since I started dexedrine. It’s put me into a bind, because I have to take Seroquel at night, and when I get up, I’m drowsy, so I take dexedrine. Even when I took myself off the dex I couldn’t sleep. At least I can function now. I’m still hypomanic, and its fun, but I really need to be on a mood stabilizer.
Let’s see. we switched back to Piportil depot (50mg every other week, IM) because the Consta wasn’t doing much for my psychosis. I’ve had one shot since re-starting and am much less paranoid and twitchy and stuff.
Clonazepam, 1.5mg/day. Artane, 5mg/night (for side effects from Piportil, as its a typical antipsycotic. The artane also helps me sleep). Dexedrine 10-20mg/day depending on how bad my attention or insomnia is.
I see my psychiatrist, Dr N, next Wednesday (the 8th) at his new practice. I haven’t seen him since May. He’s actually called me personally a few times. I feel spayshul.
I just turned 30. Happy birthday to me! I’ve been riding, raising the jumps slowly.
Here are my doodles. A couple zen-tangles and I forgot to upload my zen-dangle (lazy) and my name in rainbow. I’ve been doing it when I can’t sleep.
I like abstract because I can make it mean whatever I feel like. This was my “yay, I’m 30 and bored” tangle. I got a LOT of birthday wishes.
I haven’t shaded this in, but its a random zentangle. I just scribbled on the paper and filled it in. I can’t draw, this makes me look almost talented (ha ha ha!)
This I started last night and finished this morning. It’s my name (San) done in zentangle form. I only used a couple tangles.
I love zentangles. I’ve been doing them for a bit and it’s fun. It’s something I can do and make look good, without having any artistic talent (no offence anyone, but I cannot draw to save my life). It’s pretty relaxing.
So that’s what’s been doing on. I really need a mood stabilizer. My obgyn wanted to put me on bromocriptine (even though my prolactin is normal) because I don’t have a period. Haven’t had one since February. It works opposite of antipsychotics and one side effect is “hallucinations”, and well, fuck, I hallucinate enough without a med helping it. My pharmacist and I decided not to fill it.
I don’t want a fucking period anyways. I have endometriosis, and they’re hell. I had a tubal ligation in 2011 (and have only cherished it, no regrets here!) because birth control makes me batty if its hormonal and copper IUD + endo = a big fucking ball of pain. Enough about my stupid body. I lost a lot of weight. It’s hard gaining it back. I lost my period when I hit 100lbs. I’m at 107 now. I don’t have an eating disorder – it was the Topamax (who wants to bet I’ll end up back on it?) and it caused me to lose almost 60lbs in 6 months.
Oh well. I need to update more. I’m working on a schizophrenia myths article, but I’ve been lazy lately. Also working on a memoir.