Psychosis can happen out of the blue, to anyone, and no one knows why. Not even the best doctors on the planet. (Jeanine Garsee)
I was about to wax mystical and meaningful about the fact that my three psychotic episodes happened in 2000, 2007 and 2014 (woot, pattern recognition), but then I remembered the seven foot chrome praying mantis. He was a bit humanoid, he’d stand behind me and I knew he’d cut my spinal cord. I never felt fear, it was an utterly welcome intention.
There’s light years of mileage in symbolism. Here in South Africa, the praying mantis is an old god – //Kaggen, the trickster aspect of the Khoi San god. The ole mantis is a significant and persistent motif from rock paintings onwards, but I’m just not that Jungian. What I do believe, is that, in keeping with my other psychoses, I manifested something good, something I love, something I’d never harm and that, should it wish to harm me, I’d trust to make it painless.
I liked the chrome mantis, I miss him. I wonder why the one person I told about him didn’t … eh, nevermind.
2000: being stuck in video games
2007: the sea speaking to me
2010: 7ft chrome praying mantis
2014: hearing music and footsteps