Well, my old psychiatrist, Dr N, is coming back. I see him in October sometime, expecting a call from his secretary next week to book an appointment. Awesome.
I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I’d sleep every other day, pretty much. My GP, Dr B, put me on Seroquel, 25mg at night, and it was fairly useless. Switched to temazepam, 30mg, at night, and its working so far. I know the stuff poops out pretty quick on me, so I hope to get in with Dr N ASAP so I don’t have to keep bothering poor Dr B. He’s probably so sick of my calls! He gets +10 CHA on putting up with me. Maybe STR and CON as well! (D&D joke)
Haven’t been riding as often. Lost my nerve a bit after the show. I’ve been riding a friends horse and jumping him higher than I’ve jumped since my accident in 2011. I rode Sully yesterday. This is what we did. (As well as some cantering with no reins and having my arms out to the side, like an airplane)
Sully’s a good boy. I just need some confidence. If I find some AAA batteries, I’ll bring out my helmet cam and take some video with that. I love helmet cam riding.
I’ve got therapy with my gender therapist tomorrow, then I’m going riding. Yay.
Medwise.. well, I’ve been manic a lot. I’m tapering off of Cipralex (Lexapro for those from the US) and my mood isn’t as elevated, I’m on 10mg right now, and done with it next week. But my moods been elevated. The Risperdal Consta isn’t killing my psychosis the way the Piportil did. I’m still having breakthrough psychosis, mostly auditory hallucinations and paranoia.
I’m doing well, all things considered. Looking for a job. Rejection, rejection, rejection. Ugh. It sucks. Knitting, riding.
I’m down to Risperdal Consta (37.5mg every 2 weeks, IM), clonazepam (1.5mg/day), Cipralex (10mg/day until next Thursday, then 0mg, not having any discontinuation symptoms so far), Dexerine (20mg/day), Artane (5mg/PRN) and temazepam (30mg PRN). My anxiety is down, my moods are more stable, and hopefully the psychosis fucks off. My next Consta shot is the 26th.
I got a new laptop, my roommate and I took 2 cats home from the barn. The kitten destroyed my old computer mouse, which is funny (she killed her first mouse!) and I fortunately had a spare. I love kitties. Even evil ones, like my kitten. She kept smacking my guinea pig her first couple days here. Poor piggie. He didn’t react. He’s very patient.
I kinda want to get on Haldol Dec, or back on Piportil. Add a mood stabilizer. Which one? Hm. Lithium gave me diabetes insipidus, lamictal gave me stevens johnson syndrome, epival (depakote) threw me into mixed episodes, gabapentin, I ended up in the hospital when I was last on it, last October (October 7-24), topamax, I lost too much weight.
I’m still underweight without a period. I have a bunch of appointments this week. Therapy Monday, ob/gyn Thursday, dentist Thursday (yay for nitrous oxide, I have 2 cavities, and I’m hugely denta-phobic)
Let’s see where things go when I see my new/old psychiatrist in the next couple weeks. This psychosis has to go. Hypomania is fun, but I want to sleep. My official diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. Dr B thinks it fits better than schizotypal PD and bipolar. He thinks they put the schizotypal PD dx on my appearance, which IS different, but not eccentric. I have a lot of piercings and tattoos.
I was told once “I see the schizotypal, but not the personality disorder”. That was from a nurse in the hospital last year. Is that a compliment? Eh? Weird.
