It was my first psychiatrist, who told me I had a “fear of being well” and honestly, I thought that was absurd. But to some extent, looking back I can see I was clinging to bipolar disorder as my identity. It was all I knew, and who was I with out it?
Unfortunately, I didn’t know who I was with it either. It sounds kind of gross to me. And kind of ridiculous for me to cling to such mayhem and dysfunction! However, it’s common (I know that, now) and it was definitely true for me, even though I didn’t know it at the time.
He was right. But, instead of clinging to the “fear of wellness,” how amazing it is to cling to the desire of stability? To cling to the hard work of obtaining stability and to eventually cling to stability?
Easier said than done? Yes. Perhaps so.
Worth the work? YES!
These are three of the top practical things to cling to:
1. Communicating with your doctor. I cannot express this enough. I say it all the time. I feel very strongly about it. Be you own advocate!
2. Healthy relationships. Out with the old, in with the healthy. It’s true that other people, negative, and abusive people will bring you down. Don’t let them do it. Change your phone number. Do what it takes.
3. Taking your meds, and taking them as prescribed. ‘Nuff said. Ok, actually, I have more to say. Take your meds as they’re intended to be taken. If you don’t like something, tell your doctor immediately. (See #1). If you’re not taking them properly they’re basically useless, so take ’em right! Do it. And do it right.
Don’t let fear of anything, especially a fear of wellness, get a grip on you!
Hang in there friends, it’s worth it,
Mrs Bipolarity
