Who Names This Stuff?

Ok, so you’ve been given a psychiatric diagnosis, and that’s a lot to digest. It’s rough on one’s ego, identity, confidence, and most likely family. So there you are, you’ve been told you’re a little off your rocker, and now you consider your options. Medicine is probably suggested first and to make matters worse you begin to learn about some of your possible options. Let’s review, shall we?

  • Abilify – Because you don’t have abilities, at all, without Abilify.
  • Nuvigil – Because a candle ceremony and a new lease on life are required.
  • Provigil – When an amateur vigil just won’t do.
  • Ambien – In franglais this means “Am” “Good”, because you weren’t before!
  • Wellbutrin – Anything with the prefix “Well” speaks for itself. That should do the trick.
  • Ativan – Why are we cheering on some guy named Van? Atta boy Van, way to go! I hope it works for that guy.
  • Catepres – For making you catatonic.
  • Lexapro – Take this if you want to be a professional Lex. What the hell does that even mean?
  • Prozac – Again, another professional, only his name is Zac.
  • Neurontin – Because you’re neurotic.

I could go on forever…

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