Daily Archives: November 16, 2013

Americans see U.S. losing ground against mental illness, prescription drug abuse

Americans see U.S. losing ground against mental illness, prescription drug abuse

“When it comes to mental illness,  just 19% say the nation is making progress in dealing with the disease while 16% say it is making progress on prescription drug abuse. Significantly more Americans say the country is losing ground on these two problems (35% on mental illness, 37% on prescription drug abuse). Those are the most pessimistic measures for any of the seven public health issues included in the survey.”

UGH! DUH! This is just the beginning for mental illness to pop up as a major threat in the U.S. Other countries have already started to become aware of this illness. America is still waiting..

Waiting for an mentally – illed person to shoot up another school, perhaps..

My question is…what exactly are we waiting for?

Also, who are these “Americans” they talked to? Did they have a mental illness? Did they even know what a mental illness consist of? Were they insurance agents?

Mind Riot ~ Soundgarden (Another Rant On The Treatment Of The Mentally Ill)

I know I have something to say, and I cannot figure out what it is. Perhaps another rant about how people with mental health issues are treated in the US. I recently became aware of some very scary legislation that Ohio is considering concerning involuntary and indefinite admission to an inpatient mental facility. I can’t […]

Goodbye The Famous Jett Jackson


Wow, it seems like Mental Illness has gotten everyone…everywhere. I know you heard about Disney star Lee Thompson committing suicide. That sucks because my brother and I watched his show growing up.

You just never know…

Well, this is scary.

Hello, and welcome. Let me introduce myself. My name is Sarah, and I am the creator of this film project, and community webspace.

*Deep breath*

This is rather scary so please, bear with me, as I have an announcement… I have bipolar II.  Not everyone who knows me agrees with my choice to be public about this, and I understand why. Likewise, there are many people who know me, who have no idea that I even have this as a diagnosis.

People with any sort of psychiatric diagnosis experience stigma, and discrimination, regularly. I have learned over the years to keep this fact about myself completely secret, or else I would face repercussions. I have been teased, judged, and flat out insulted by even those who are very close to me. I’ve also been loved unconditionally, supported, and fought for by my beloved husband, dear friends, and family.

The fact that I am healthy and stable, with a typical productive life, is irrelevant to others once they hear the word: bipolar. Suddenly, I am regarded as defective, and perhaps untrustworthy. A host of uncertainty comes with that label. I am one of the lucky ones though! I feel well balanced these days, and not overly “foggy”, or diluted. Treatment has been challenging to say the least, but I’ve come to find my groove. It is a daily challenge to maintain my health, and a constant consideration. For me, I find it is my duty and profound obligation to make certain I leave no stone unturned in my goal of maintaining wellness – for the sake of my family. As a result of that work however, I find my life is moving at a great pace these days. I have love in my home, and acceptance there as well. That backing is the only reason I can take on this project, and find more of you out there.

I feel as though I was given the gift of profound improvement, and I would consider myself to be in a really stable place. I am not claiming to be “cured”. I have difficult moments, but I have learned how to manage them constructively. It is the perfect time for me to open the door for others, and announce to them all that they are not alone. This community has so much to offer one another, as we all, collectively struggle towards a peaceful equilibrium.

My alleviation of symptoms, and suffering, was only possible because of the medical intervention of my psychiatrist, and the unconditional love my husband, and family, offered me.

The fact that I have fear about exposing myself publicly is reason enough that this film needs to be made. We need a modern examination of what this label really entails. This is a spectrum disorder, and it affects everyone differently. We need to evaluate how people with bipolar I and II are perceived and treated by society. There are over 4.7 million people *diagnosed* in the U.S. alone so I know I am not unique. We need to examine how this diagnosis came to be historically, and decide if the old methods for classification really still fit. What does new research say about the causality of bipolar? What are the benefits to having bipolar, because believe me, there are benefits intrinsic to this so-called fault. What are the advantages and pitfalls to medication as a treatment? Do people realize how much effort those who are affected put into being well? I have so many questions that I will be examining in great detail, and I’m eager to see where this film adventure takes me. I reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go.”

It has strangely dawned on me, that there is much that I haven’t explored with regards to treatment options and the tactics that others have chosen. I hope others will be brave and connect with me. I couldn’t in good conscience ask anyone to share their story, without taking that same step myself.

I will be posting information about the film as it progresses via this blog. You will also find interesting information relevant to treatment advances and research about bipolar here. Stay tuned, and thanks for all your support! I strongly suggest checking me out on Google +. I’ve been connecting with a lot of people that way. Feel free to say hello. 🙂


When all else fails, go shopping?

I thought I'd better do as the doctor said and increase my medication. I hate it when I have to change meds. It always frightens me. Quetiapine is pretty strong stuff and I always worry about side effects. I don't like the idea of not being in control. I hate the idea of being turned into a zombie. A bit daft really as I really haven't felt in control anyway. I doubt it could make things worse. Well, it's five days in and mentally I am starting to feel a bit better. Some of the time anyway. If anything I've been on a bit of a high, despite all the crap that's going on in my life. I actually feel reasonably happy, which I haven't done for a very long time. Physically I feel like shit. At times I'm so tired it's unbelievable. I'm so tired during the day but wide awake when I'm supposed to be asleep! I'm hoping as my body gets used to it that will pass. I'm hoping that after months and months of my moods being all over the place I'll have some stability. I need it badly. I need to get myself back on track. I need to get organised. I've made a start. Yesterday I sat and went through my finances. It's not great. I don't want to say exactly how much money I've wasted when I've been high and gone on spending sprees. Over the last couple of years it's run into thousands. All on stuff that I was convinced I needed at the time but mostly a load of crap. I don't know what happens but I manage to tell myself there is no problem. I mostly buy clothes but it could be anything. I've got all sorts of weird and wonderful gadgets that are still in the box. I'll buy anything apart from the stuff I really do need...like food. The last time I felt really well I put a fair bit of my money into places where I couldn't get at it. Thank goodness I did or I'm sure by now I'd be totally skint. I don't know why it's so common for people with bipolar to struggle with managing money. I don't know why there are times when I'm compelled to shop and shop for stuff I don't need. I don't always remember doing it. Sometimes I do and I don't really care. I don't even remember if it makes me feel better. It just seems right at the time. Maybe it is a form of self medicating? It frightens me when I'm sorting through what I've bought. I often find two or three of exactly the same item. I find it hard to get to grips with why on earth I would do it. I buy stuff that I'm never ever going to use. I find stuff packed away that I don't even remember buying. Sometimes I give it away just to get it out of my flat. I put at least ten brand new items of clothing into a charity bag this morning. I feel so guilty that I've done it and I wonder how I'm going to manage in the future. When I've been depressed I've missed payments and ignored bills. I've given money away and acted as if I had a never ending supply. When I'm well I am really good with my money, I'm organised and I know where every penny goes. Unfortunately that's not very often. I don't know what the answer is. Unless I let someone else manage my money I doubt there is an answer. I don't think I could ever let anyone do that. When I feel well I'm too strong willed and independent. Unless I cut off my internet so I don't have access to the thousands of opportunities to shop online I think I'm always going to have a problem. I don't have any credit cards anymore, that really is too dangerous. The times I've closed and reopened my eBay and Amazon accounts is unreal. I once spent nearly £4,000 on eBay in less than a week. I was still married then and as I was the one who sorted the finances I managed to hide most of it. Not one item cost more than £30, so you can imagine how many parcels came flooding through the door. That's the trouble, it's all too easy. I guess I have to try and get as organised as I can while my mood allows me and hope for the best. When I got my divorce money it was supposed to set me up for the rest of my life. Small compensation really for 23years of marriage but I guess I should count myself lucky. At least I had some money to start with. In truth I may as well have flushed half of it down the toilet. I'd like to say money is not important but unfortunately it is. I'm on my own, I have no job and I have to look after number one. Fucking bipolar.


Sorry for this post, but yesterday people were unable to access the post.  I’m hoping the problem is solved.

How-To DIY Post with Pictures!

My running partner asked me to make her a tutu for a holiday-themed 5k she is running next month. I finished this in one evening and was pretty pleased with how it turned out, so I figured I’d share with you how I did it.  My friend bought the supplies and I just “built” it from there. I used:

  • flat 1 inch thick red knit elastic
  • 1 yard each, red and green tulle
  • 4 colors glitter ribbon

I cut the tulle into strips, varying between 1.5″ and 2″. I cut the elastic and tied it together to create the “waistband” of the tutu. I then attached everything to the elastic waistband. See the pictures for more info!




I’m super excited for my friend to wear this for her 5k! This would be a great gift for little girls in your family or for runners looking for a festive and fun accessory!

Filed under: Crafty Tagged: craft, DIY, festive, holiday, tutu