In An Odd Mood

Not sure where I’m at right now. Feeling restless and lonely and sad with no apparent reason. I simultaneously want to binge eat, cry, cocoon in my bed (preferably with my crush) for days and go Christmas shopping. I’m a mess.

I know for the sadness, it’s a combo of being on meds that I’m still adjusting to and falling for the whole “Their life is perfect” image being presented on several blogs I follow. That whole feeling of not being in the cool kids club. I shouldn’t fall for it, the glossy images posted, the claims that life is just *so* perfect and all the stars fell into place, being “right where you’re meant to be” malarkey. I’d like to read posts about their fights with their significant other over silly things, the times they went out in public with coffee stains on their shirt. I like the real stuff. The artificial puts me in this spin, messes with my perception of the things I’ve been blessed with.

I hate the “not good enoughs”. I feel this way a lot and it’s useless and does no good.  I wonder if I’ll ever rise above worrying what others are doing/saying/thinking.

I’m going to stop and remind myself that I am good enough, I have enough and I do enough for myself and others. They say comparison is the thief of joy and I’m walking proof of that right now. My life isn’t perfect and I’ve never claimed it to be, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad life-not an easy thing to remember sometimes.

Filed under: Self Discovery Tagged: affirmation, authentic, bipolar, comparison, jealousy, mixed state, reality, sad

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