Peaceful Easy Feeling

Last week I mentioned that due to a series of panic attacks I did not get an essay turned in, so I did the math and determined that the best final grade I was capable of was a “C”.  I discussed this with my professor and he encouraged me to drop the class and take it again in the spring.  His reasoning was that based on my writing I am an “A” student and therefore he did not want me striving to attain a “C”.  Being very flattered I trotted over to my computer and dropped the class.  So it turns out that my decision may not have been such a great idea.  I’m already on Academic Probation.

I knew I was on probation.  In fact, I knew I was on probation not because I had bad grades, but was specifically due to having withdrawn from too many classes.  It didn’t even dawn on me at that particular moment.  It didn’t dawn on me until the next day that I may have royally screwed up.

On Friday I met with my school counselor to discuss the matter.  I was right – I royally screwed up.  It’s very possible that I may be dismissed due to Academic Progress.  The funny thing is that dismissal does not necessarily mean I’ll be dismissed.  Yeah, it confuses me too.  Apparently dismissal can mean that the Powers That Be will allow me to sit with my counselor and draw up a contract detailing the steps I will take to get out of dismissal.  So, being dismissed means that I have to take steps to not be dismissed.  How that differs from being on probation, I don’t know, but at least it’s possible that I may still be able to take classes despite the fact that I have been dismissed. ( My head hurts )

The other possibility is that I will be dismissed.  I mean really dismissed.  Being told I can’t take classes kinda dismissed.  This, obviously, is not the better option.  Fortunately it’s not as bad as it sounds.  If The Powers That Be determine that is my fate it doesn’t mean I can never return – it means I cannot return for two semesters.  After that I can petition to return.  Just two semesters?  Hell, that’s easy.  Disappointing, but no big whoop,

What’s the point lf all this?  The point is how well I handled it all from start to finish.  My discussion with my professor was relaxed and productive.  My discussion with my counselor was relaxed and productive.  I never freaked out.  In the not so distant past I would have completely lost it when I didn’t get my essay turned in.  I would have hyperventilated and never went back to have the discussion with my professor.  I would have stopped showing up and my grade would have automatically rolled over and became an “F”.  I would have gone home, curled up in a ball and had a pity party  I had some highs and some lows, but overall I had a peaceful easy feeling.  I’m grateful for the week I had.







Comments are closed.