Daily Archives: September 5, 2013

I can feel it
It’s near
Something I hold dear
I’ve waited so long
My heart sang the song
My fears are long gone
It’s time for something good
I know it’s time, I should
I’ve waited and waited
My feelings medicated
I feel them now
My heart goes pow
I’m ready
I feel so much more steady
Time for a new chapter
I’ll look at this after
I’ll know
It was a period to grow
I have so much to show

I tried sooo hard today to keep a positive attitude and roll with the punches. For awhile it worked. But between going to the shop and coming home to all those kids (who were NOT amused when I locked the door so they couldn’t run in and out and help themselves to our stuff) and then R wanted me to order a part NOW amidst all the kid pandemonium and computer issues….

It was too much.

I can handle a bit.

I can’t process too much. Call me weak.

Now it’s 9 pm and there’s a ton of stuff I want to do, stuff I need to do…But my skin feels like it is crawling off my bones and I am itchy from allergies and I can’t even remember anything good that happened today because the overwhelmed factor has drowned it all out, as it always does.

Bedtime.

So I can mentally flog myself for being so weak as to crawl into bed because my fragile psyche can’t handle life’s normal pace.

I try to remind myself I have a middle illness.

Being surrounded by a bunch of “suck it up” types nullifies any explanation (excuse, to them) short of dismemberment.

I just want one week away from the shop, away from all those brats that aren’t mine…About as likely as snowflakes falling in hell, but a ghoul can dream.