Daily Archives: August 9, 2013

Progress and Purpose

Items purchased in mania, sitting on a closet shelf Frantically placed there last year, hidden from everyone else.   What did I purchase online one insomniac night? This box feels so heavy.  This one is fairly light.   Did I order two items at once or did they come that way? I cannot be sure […]

It’s an Honor to be Nominated

This past week my good blogging friend, Raeyn, nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award because, as she said, “[I] keep an awesome blog.” Thank you, Raeyn, you keep an awesome blog as well. Her blog The Scarlet B, is one that I look forward to every day.  I suggest my readers check it out.

To accept the award I am to post 7 interesting things about myself and then present the award to 15 deserving bloggers. Typically, I do not pass awards to other bloggers so I’ll be forfeiting the award, but I will, at least, post 7 things about myself (Interesting, I’ll leave for the readers to decide.)

1. I can recite the prologue to The Canterbury Tales in Middle English  ” Whan that aprill with his shoures soote The droghte of march hath perced to the…”

2. I can sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in Latin  “Mica, Mica, parva stella;  Miror quaenam sis tam bella…”

3. I cannot tie a cherry stem with my tongue.

4. I parachuted 4 times and planned to continue as a hobby until I watched another skydiver whose chute didn’t open. He was able to rip open his emergency chute, but I was pretty much over it by that point.

5. I’ve lived in 14 cities in 7 states

6. I worked briefly in Vancouver BC and loved it so much I would move there tomorrow, if I could.  Hopefully I’d convince Maurice to come along.

7. I won the “‘Women-less Beauty Pagent” my Junior year in high school.

Thank you again, Raeyn.  I’m honored by your nomination.


Tourist with bipolar disorder goes on £147,000 shopping spree in Spain

Tourist with bipolar disorder goes on £147,000 shopping spree in Spain

HOLY…well at least I’m not that bad off. Can you imagine spending that much money, and then coming out of it and regretting.. I feel bad for this guy. Stay strong our Bipolar brother…and don’t shop ever. again.

Are my money issues…bipolar issues?

Here is goes again…

My brain keeps telling me one thing, when I KNOW I should be doing another. I got a job! Woo hoo! I’m working at a small coffee place in my town. Its not much, but its a job. I’m actually making $7.25, which sucks because I am a college grad with student loans/bills/needs, but it’s a start.

The bad thing is… my mind is already sailing on a yacht with Beyonce and Jay-Z. I haven’t even received my first paycheck and I’m going to BORA BORA! My mind is thinking about owning my own business, vacations, saving money, stocks, bonds, etc, etc, etc.. I’ve even went to the library and checked out Personal Finance and Business books.

The only reason I’ve slowed down is because I told my fiance that I wanted to own my own business, and he kind of flipped. He told me that we can’t plan for anything, AT ALL, because of the money situation we are in. He deflated my mind, and now..

It’s pretty bad, the way my mind works. How am I spending invisible money? Is this apart of my disease? or this is just another cycle of my bad spending/saving habits?

Are my money issues…bipolar issues?

There something else I’ve noticed though, which I bet a billion people have noticed about themselves as well… well, there are two things…

1. I hate working. Anything that involves my time, doing something I don’t really like, I HATE HATE HATE it and dread going back. Every job I’ve ever had where it didn’t have all of me, I’ve hated and quit.

2. If I don’t obsess over where my money should/would/needs to go I feel like I don’t have a purpose to work. This is silly because when I DIDN’T have a job I was crying about needing money, needing purpose, and then when I get a job it’s not good enough.


Is my work ethic horrible? Have I had so many jobs in my life that I don’t see lucky enough to have it? Why am I so much in my mind and nothing in my actions?

I blame society, bipolar, myself, and my mom…and I’ll probably never get an answer..


The Consequences of Forgetfulness

I realized the other day that I was feeling a bit off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I felt slightly more depressed than usual, and then I managed to hit a bit of elation and completing something that I found stressful and difficult. I sighed, grabbed my book, and went to bed at my ‘usual’ time lately of 11pm. I was still going to read for an hour to an hour and a half as I had been doing, but that’s okay — there’s not a better way to doze off, I maintain.

1:30am came and went, and my husband finally wandered to bed. I was lying there, eyes wide open, alert and perky. And then it dawned on me — I’d forgotten to take my Seroquel at its usual time. I apologised, said I’d probably be back in half an hour, and migrated to the living room with my book to let the time pass. I didn’t manage to get to sleep until clear past 3am, which… well. I know a lot of people get by on six hours a night, but I like my 8-9 hours. I like that I have a very set time that I sleep; it’s probably the #1 tool in my arsenal against the bipolar.

I woke up the next morning, and realized I’d completely managed to forget to take -any- of my meds the day before. I date each pill on the blister pack so I don’t risk getting confused, and it was there clear as day. I’m relieved that the day didn’t end up terrible on the whole, but it did completely throw me out in a not so happy way. The sleep schedule is hard won and supplemented with Melatonin at need to keep it tied into place, and throwing it out a single night means that I nearly have to start from the beginning again. Last night wasn’t too bad in the getting to sleep department, but I’m massively bleary this morning, more so than my normal ‘mornings suck not awake need caffeine’ sort of fatigue.

Ah well, at least it’s Friday, and there’s nothing super-important on my agenda! I’m still not very happy with the brain-body-chemical situation, but there’s enough good to focus on to try and drown out the grumbles. I’ve got a nice breeze coming in,  I’ve got the car today, and I didn’t kill anyone in my not-that-caffeinated state — huzzah! I’ve got a ‘date’ planned with my mother-in-law and daughter today and I’ve got my knitting to take with, so that should be nice for everyone. And yanno… Friday. Weekend. That’s always worthy of a huzzah. *smiles*

*keeps tazing self with optimism while whistling innocently*

Anyhoos. Hope everyone is well, and that there’s  a fun weekend in the future, whatever your version might be. Mine is sitting on my ass, so that should hopefully pan out nicely!


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