Daily Archives: July 29, 2013

Take the Leap

Ready to take a leap
No more fear of going too deep
I’m ready to reap
No longer ready to weep
My tears are gone
Replaced by a song
Just go along
Take the ride
Don’t feed the fear, don’t hide
It penetrates
Deep inside
Rocks me to my core
Leaves me wanting more
What I want, I’m still not sure
I contemplate
Then I sit and wait
Wait for a sign
Something must align
It is my time
Time for action
Leaping forward, no longer just a reaction
My heart is ready
I feel steady
It is time for a new chapter
We’ll reassess after

School Dazed

Going back to school has been a real bitch. I struggled a lot when I first went back, but this semester is better. I’m making great grades. Granted, I’m only taking one class, but that is beside the point. Being excited I’ve gone ahead and registered for four classes this Fall. The classes I’ve signed up for are English 101, Religious Philosophy, Sociology and Psychology. Yeah, I know, all four are difficult classes, but, at least I didn’t include Spanish 001 like I wanted. My school counselor said she would not approve me for five classes anyway.

On Thursday, last week, Maurice and I had a talk and he wants me to reduce the number of classes down to three. I gave it some thought and agreed.

Then on Friday I met with my pdoc and discussed school and the classes I’m taking. He was adamant that I was not ready to take a big load and that I should only take one class. Sometimes I just hate him. I debated with him and told him I was willing to cut it down to two classes. He just sighed, shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. I’m way too use to that response from him. I gave it some thought later and decided maybe I’d listen to him and take only one. I wasn’t happy about it, but thought he knows me better than I know myself sometimes, so maybe he was right.

Then came Saturday. I checked my school email and received an award letter for a full grant for the next year. One caveat, though. I have to take a full load, which, means I have to take four classes to receive the grant.(sigh)

Now I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. I don’t want to take the risk of not receiving the grant next year, however, it’s kind of pointless to take four classes and end up failing one or two. My brain has turned to mush trying to figure out what I should do.

I meet with my therapist in a couple of weeks and I’ll see if he can help me with this dilemma. I’m fairly certain that he’s going to side with my pdoc. I really need to consider getting a new pdoc and a new therapist. Neither of them agree with me when I want to do something stupid.

Sometimes life gives you exactly what you want and it’s just not fair.

Announcing Blog Tagline Contest Finalists!

It’s late (early). I drove all day to get to the DC area for a 4-day meeting, spent the afternoon …

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