What’s That Smell?

*sniff sniff* what IS that? Oh! It smells like DE-FUCKING-PRESSION trying to creep in. NO!

Yesterday I was blah. Just kind of flat and unmotivated and sad but not sad. And the feeling is still here today. I didn’t go to a birthday party today with my daughter. My husband took her alone, and I feel horrible about it. But I feel like crap. Melancholy. Grey. Overcast. And it is even a beautiful sunny day, albeit cold…..

So, here is my problem. Is it my bipolar? Or is it one of my medications? I would say the Elavil because I have only been on that for a week, and I have been on the Cymbalta for over a month. OR… Is it a Fibromyalgia thing?

Why can’t I have just ONE problem? Why do I have to have several? That was a rhetorical question. I’m just bitching because I’m angry and disappointed that I am having a depressive episode after so long of being good! This fucking sucks.

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