Daily Archives: January 15, 2013

Disabled, or Handicapped? What’s the Difference?

Reblogged from A Canvas Of The Minds:

One of my medical school guest professors, let's call him Dr. X, came to class in a wheelchair.  He had not used it all of his life.  In fact, he had only begun to use it in the past couple of years.

Dr. X was a normally functioning medical student with a wife and two children when one day he woke up, got out of bed, and fell on the floor.  

Read more… 811 more words

Here's a post I wrote on the wonderful mental health group blog, A Canvas of the Minds, that published today. I'm interested to hear y'all's comments on this issue. Myself, I go back and forth between feeling disabled, and feeling handicapped by my disability. Some days (minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years) I feel paralyzed. Other times (seconds, minutes, hours, or, rarely, days) I feel empowered, and not the kind of grandiose power that comes with mania, but the feeling and, yes, knowledge that I can act, from my little corner of the world, to help others and create or at least catalyze change. Let me know what your thoughts are.


I had a driving lesson this morning, and we did one of the test routes to get me used to the format before my test at the end of the month. I mainly did well, but there were a few things that I didn’t nail. Which would have been fine, except I started picking the ever-loving crap out of my bottom lip in response. My instructor commented on it, which yeah… I was going to town on a bit of dead skin and it was driving me around the bend for existing and insert light notes of panic here. It’s totally an OCD-esque thing, I’m sure, but I’ve not really pushed for analysis of my OCD-esque traits yet. And as I sat there, trying to force my hands to stay on the wheel, I had to wonder if I’d ever hit a point where I didn’t ‘need’ to pick at my lips. At least I can take perverse comfort in that skin-picking itself is supposed to make it into DSM-V, right? It totally relieves anxiety even if it does cause bleeding and pain. Also? Let’s ignore the callous I chewed unto my finger, ’cause yanno… same boat. *coughs*

Oh, I’m sure that there is treatment out there, such as our usual friend CBT… but do I really want to stop something that provides immense relief? I’m absolutely unashamed of my lip-picking, and my finger callous… it’s been there for years and I’m used to it. It’s one of those little vices I let myself cling onto because if I didn’t have anything there to pretend I’m going to fix later, my brain would probably spend even more time freaking out over stupid crap; such are the games I must play to keep sane.

Anyhoos, I have a new toy to play with, so I’m going to get to that. *pets netbook and purrs*


Guess what,guys? Some idiot in NZ says we’re just making our mental stuff up

As I am in this sucky med transition stage and don’t care to whine more…I thought I would regale you with this gem I found yesterday.

The original story is here IDIOCY.

Now, the primary story is “Addiction is not a disease.” Genius Derek is entitled to his (idiotic) opinion. Although, the physical withdrawal symptoms would indicate to me that even if not a disease, it ceases to be psychological/behavioral at some point and becomes medical.

Where my head nearly imploded was where he essentially said BECAUSE there are no blood tests,et al to determine mental illness, it basically does not exist and is just a behavioral issue because doctors are enabling us.

I,myself, admit to some perhaps incorrect opinions of my own, inasmuch as some medications are used to “treat” borderline personality disorder. I simply do NOT believe that a personality disorder can be fixed with medication. And I base this on my own personal experience.

Let’s face it. I have been on pretty much every psych med to come out in the last 20 years and some out long before then.

NONE of them solved any of my personality disorder issues. None of them made me less of an anxiety ridden worry wart. None of them made me less insecure. None of them made me handle deviation in schedule better. None of them erased the early imprinting that resulted from being tormented in high school that to this day, makes me paranoid and jumpy any time I pass a group of teenagers.

What do the meds help with?

The depressions, the extreme highs and lows, the impulsive shopping, the extreme panic attacks, the angry outbursts…

To me, that is a huge difference. Meds correct imbalances that cause physical symptoms.

They do NOT fix your beliefs and mental boo boos from getting screwed up at an early age.

And as for them helping borderline personality disorder…Most people I have known with this so called borderline shit were as good as being bipolar in temper so it makes sense a med would at least help with that.

So, I can understand New Zealand’s Derek,in a way. I am sure my opinion is to some extent wrong and based on my own personal bias. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice it a med could just reverse and fix all my bad traits? It hasn’t worked out that way for me therefore I simply don’t buy that it works  that way at all on PERSONALITY TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS.

Which is not to  say I don’t believe borderline personality disorder exists. I have met my mother. It exists. (And meds NEVER helped her an iota, which is proof for me.)

But for this Derek guy to have an opinion on addiction not being a disease then to toss in bipolar and schizophrenia, as if they are mythical unicorns and anyone who believes in them are insane, lazy, or both…

Kind of makes me hope a schizophrenic decides to go off their meds and work on their behavior.

And pay Derek a visit when the voices get really loud.

Because trust me, Derek and anyone who shares his opinion…

If you think living under the cloud of mental illness and a neverending regime of side effect inducing pills is easier than just changing behavior, you are mental midgets.

You are entitled to your opinion, but in expressing this particular opinion, you have made it abundantly clear you do not have any compassion.

I dislike you for this more than your opinion which I disagree with.