It last about the three hours, the manic episode. Which is why it took so long for me to get a proper diagnosis. There’s this misconception that a manic episode and depressive episode have to last for days or weeks to be diagnosed as bipolar.
In the case of Cyclothymic bipolar, this is not true. Rapid cycling is the name of the game.
Now I am not happy.
Now I am jumpy and panicky and anxious and irate and irritably and I feel like the walls are closing in on me because the cats and my kid keep crawling all over me and
I just want to scream LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!
But I cringe when they touch me. I don’t know why. My entire state right now is like I am listening to a chorus of nails on chalkboards.
This hyperagitated state often follows a manic episode.
I just have to ride it out.
I must admit, it is much worse with the Cymbalta. Oh, the morony (it’s not ironic, it’s moronic) of prescribing a med for my panic disorder and it causes me to freak out but helps me not be depressed.
Whiskey would help.
I have no money.
Just gotta ride it out and remember not to scream and yell and thrash around.
But every nerve ending is screaming and every time kid or cat touches me, my skeleton wants to leap out of my skin. This is not a pleasant sensation.
This is just typical of the cycles in my disorder.
Happy energetic mania.
Overly agitated state following.
Hopefully this phase passes quickly.
Not that I want to sink into a depressive mind frame.
But it would be better than feeling like I am gonna to claw my own eyeballs out of their sockets to escape all the noise and contact and my own stupid central nervous system.