Daily Archives: November 14, 2012

now you see it, now you don’t

okay, okay, okay.

i received a message from my psychiatrist today.  last time we met, he asked to see some of my blog posts from when my old psychiatrist said i was hypomanic.  he wanted to see my train of thought, i guess.

today, he sent the following message:

“Hi Patient A.,
Since these blog entries are all while you were taking fluoxetine, they cannot be used as counting towards a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.  You would have to have similar symptoms during a period of your life when you were not on antidepressant medications and not using alcohol or other drugs.
Hope this helps.”

is this the same thing as saying we do not have adequate evidence for a bipolar diagnosis?

if so…doesn’t this mean that if i had never seen JiffyDiagnose (psychiatrist #2), i would have never been diagnosed bipolar?

and possibly that i’m not actually bipolar?

Hanging on

I’m still around… and I’m hanging on. Looking forward to going away on Sunday. My best friend and I are going to a casino and staying until WEDNESDAY! If you recall, we were supposed to go away for my birthday, but she went and had an emergency situation with her gallbladder. So, I wanted to take her to Vegas for hers, but… The flights cost way too much. So, we are going Sunday and we are both so excited. We both need it. I need to get away from here. I have been a sarcastic bitch lately. I guess nothing is wrong with that, but it IS starting to get on my nerves. I have been VERY flighty lately as well.Can’t keep track of my thoughts and forget things in a matter of seconds, literally. So, it’s time to get some R&R.

We will be drinking…. In my head I am going to party like a rock star! But reality is a whole different ball of wax. I don’t know if I can party like that anymore. But bringing lots of things for us to do in the room (we love playing cards). And there is also a gym, swimming pool, Jacuzzi, and sauna. So, we will not be bored. Just enough relaxation time, to cook everything on Thursday – the day after I get back. But that is ok. It’s just my parents that will be here so it’s all good.

DBT Week 20

The most recent DBT session focused on reducing vulnerability to negative emotions, and then steps for increasing positive emotions. Now, …

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hear me raaaaaaaawwwwwwr

godzilla is making a cameo.

i am one angry puppy today.  i woke up irritable as all hell and just got angrier.  i went to class, counting on teaching about sex to get me out of my own head.  it worked, a little.

i’ve been trying to turn my day around.  you know, get the bigger picture and become aware that my perceptions are being limited by my emotions so get a bigger perspective and all that.

my secret bag of tricks includes working on teaching-related activities.  teaching makes me happy.  my animal behavior class is my labor of love.  so i’m doing good and grading my students’ work.  happily along.  feeling accomplished when they appear to be engaging with the materials.

and then i come across this.  one of my students posted her concept map file with the title “another time-consuming concept map that does nothing to advance my understanding of this material”.

oh really?

here’s why i’m pissed (and doubly so because i was already fucking moody as hell).  for the entire first half of the class, i offered them the opportunity to give me feedback about assignments and materials every week. in which, by the way, this student has never participated.

it’s one thing to have a complaint about a class.  students will always have complaints, some more useful than others.  but posting that kind of feedback to an online public forum for both me and other students to see?  that’s just fucking rude.

i guess i should be glad this is an online class.  i’ve got a virtual barrier between me and this kind of thing.

i’m taking a break from grading.  it’s better that way.  other students shouldn’t be penalized just because i’m on a war rampage.

i’ll try again tomorrow.