Daily Archives: November 1, 2012

Make It Stop!

The Universe is shitting on me this week.
First the doctor. Then Trick or Treat got moved to…. NOVEMBER 2. Then my dryer dies, and now my sink is clogged in the kitchen. Tried to call new doctor to make appointment and no one answered. I even let it ring 10 fucking times!

I have asked my daughter to clean the common area of all of her crap so we can walk through, and it has taken her 3 days to even start. And that is because it HAS to be cleaned up, because we have to get a new dryer. She is leaving her crap everywhere…. We MUST have a discussion about this. And She doesn’t do anything but sleep, eat, and shower. She doesn’t help around the house. Doesn’t even ask HOW she can help. She just lounges around. No, I’m NOT having this!

Calgone? Where are you? I need you. And a GREAT BIG BOTTLE OF APPLE BARN WINE!

Holy Fucking Hell.

sneak attack

i’ve been going about my days quite nicely lately.

i get up at a reasonable hour, sometime between my first and third alarms (out of four).  i respond to emails, get ready for any meetings or appointments, and make them on time.  i come home, do some grading or other work-related tasks, and in the evening i take the boys out for a jog and hit the gym.

most of the time, i feel pretty damn good.

so tell me.  how is it that i spend all this time being productive, feeling good, and feeling over my ex, that as soon as i’m asked to talk about him i start to cry?

i can’t stop it and it catches me off guard.  i spend so much time distracting myself from thinking of him that it feels like i’m over it.  clearly i am not.

so knowing this, i try to venture into “deal with it” territory but i find i’m still too tender and it’s still too painful to think about.

i feel like one of those jenga towers and the subject of my ex is one of the blocks near the base.  well, i suppose it is not strictly my ex.  as one friend put it, all of my emotional response is not just about him.  i also struggle with a number of internal demons.  relationships appear to be a convenient vehicle for them to rise to the surface.

my seroquel just kicked in, and now i’m too tired to continue my line of thinking.  au revoir!

depression comix #37

I love this. If I had a dollar for every time some never-been-depressed person has sprung this one on me, I’d be…but wait, maybe that’s why I never tell anyone other than my therapist.

depression comix #37.