bring out the brillo pads.
ok, i’m shot through the heart. i need to accept it. there is no going back, no take backs. i fucked up and broke up with him prematurely and now i need to deal with it. no more what-ifs.
fuck, this is going to suck.
one step at a time.
first, i need a good cleansing.
i need to let go of all of the things i was hanging on to that had to do with us. well, almost all of them. i’m not getting rid of Big Dog A. but i will probably sell some of my gaming equipment. gaming isn’t any fun anymore when i can’t geek out with my buddy. it’s just depressing.
i need to find a place for the big stuffed animal in my room that i got for valentine’s day. after i sleep with it tonight, one last time. and i will put all of his things in one place, possibly in my storage closet outside, so i don’t have to look at them all day.
i need to change my online experience so his name doesn’t pop up on my contact list. i changed his name in my cell to “The Love is Gone”. thank goodness i gave up facebook a long time ago.
and hopefully, one of these days, i will wake up and find myself thinking of something other than him.