Daily Archives: September 9, 2012

Small Proof

I’ve been going outside. This is probably more amazing than most people realize, ha ha. I ate outside last night, I went outside of my own free will when my husband and daughter were playing outside, and then again when lilbit needed some park-based playtime. I take it as a pretty clear sign that my depression is lifting at least a little bit (though allergens still gave me a headache – d’oh).

Past that, I am glad that there’s a decent-seeming balance of excitement for my forthcoming trip, with not feeling totally overwhelmed by my mother’s enthusiasm. I’m glad she’s happy, I’m glad she has ideas, and for the most part, they’re good. I’m sure it’s also her way to try and nab as much of my calendar before I can let other people in, but I can’t hold that against her as long as she’s not drinking, I figure. And I’ve made it clear repeatedly that I will not go places where drinking is happening because I don’t want to be around sloshed people. Someone having -a- drink socially is one thing, and why I can get on fine at Stitch ‘n Bitch. Texans on the whole are a special breed of alcoholics and my family is above the curve (but I’m sure they think this makes them ‘fun’. Or something), so I have no qualms edicting against it. I fully intend to put my and my family’s health above the desires others might have upon us, yo.

Anyways, back to fighting with my glasses (will be back in town this week to get them re-readjusted), and simming. ‘Cause that’s good times.



Bundle of grrrrrr

My kid is playing with plastic toys and babbling.

Every tiny sound resonates in my head like a marching band.

My ears feel like they are bleeding, as if every sound is a bbq skewer being jabbed into my ear.

It is bright and sunny out.

Which is making my head feel like someone is sticking shards of glass into my brain.


I hate anxiety. I hate feeling on the edge of panic 24-7.

Why can’t I work past it, get over it? I am told if I were a stronger person with a stronger character, then I would be able to tackle and obliterate the anxiety.

Of course, that was on some early morning infomercial hocking some cd/book system for controlling anxiety.




My mood isn’t that bad. I really don’t want to do cartwheels but I’m  not down in the dumps,either.

But I am a bundle of jumpy nerves and I have NO reason why.

Makes me wanna scream GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR at the top of my lungs.

Put a dimmer switch on the sun, give me a volume button to control ambient noise, and gimme a xanax the size of a hubcap I can just lick like a salt wheel and I will be fine.

Ya know I really thought by age 40 I’d have outgrown or worked thru the panic stuff.

Proves the adage “if you think, you stink.”


What is it about Buckets?

The other day when I was perusing the blogs I follow, a little overwhelmed by the catching up I need to do I popped over to Edward Hotspur‘s blog and found a post about making a bucket list.  Edward, may I call him Edward?  is one of the bloggers that I really am in awe … Continue reading