The past couple of days, I have been reverting back to “old” routines. I have been so tired in the morning that I have been laying on the couch and falling asleep about mid-morning. Today I had planned on getting the lawn mowed at 10 a.m., but I was hit with some aggravation in the mail this morning from my youngest daughter’s school. The mail came this morning at 8 a.m., so I already had gotten the aggravation before I had made my plans. And, I’m not even 100% sure that the aggravation led to my “nap”. But whatever… the important this is, I took a nap. I woke up had a little snack for lunch, and then I took another nap.

This makes me so mad. I’m not depressed. And, I’m trying not to over think this (but that is funny, because I’m back to the ol over thinking til I’m numb shit that I would do before meds….) I guess I’m just afraid that I am going to have to go back on meds. I mean I know eventually I will have to, but I don’t want to NOW…. It doesn’t fit into my schedule.

I even did NOT take a call from my mom this afternoon because I just couldn’t “deal”. That right there is some OLD actions I used to do. I hope I’m not fucking falling down the rabbit hole.

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