like the saying, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it…i’ve found another post by Psych Salve that feels like a page ripped from my internal diary.
this is something i struggle with EVERY. DAY.
my latest tools for self destruction have been sugar, sodium, and carbs. lots of it. cookies. omg, cookies. munchies. burritos. chocolate. candy. soda.
i’ve gained only 5 lbs but feel like jabba the hut. it’s a twisted, love-hate cycle.
In Search of the Least Destructive Self Destruction
I’m not sure how I always forget about yanno… hormones, but yet, they manage to sneak up and club me every.single.month. You’d think after 17 years or so I’d remember, but nooo. That would make too much sense.
What can be inferred by that is that I’m feeling mildly better today, as if the ground is a little bit firmer. It’s probably not that much better, but little improvements are a big deal down in the dumps. It gives that modicum more energy and get up and go to help getting the basics done. And hey, functionality — that’s always a big deal, ha ha. But perhaps one can see what I’m doing here — I’m taking little positive baby steps to try and combat the darkness. I know I can’t get far with what I have right now, but once one step pis taken, it’s a little easier to take the next. The wisdom is knowing where to stop, what to ‘settle’ for when ‘normal’ is still far off on some mystical plane of otherworldly existence.
Anyways, back to taking it easy and trying to think positive thoughts or something.
I haven’t been able to post for awhile because my blog was hijacked! I have no idea why, perhaps it was a bot that was just cruising around the wordpress site?
I lost some content, and the forum. I don’t think I will be putting the forum back up, I have too much personal bullshit going on in my life right now to keep up with a forum.
Life is just too hard sometimes! Sometimes I just fucking give up. My Bipolar will never go away, people will never accept me for who & what I am, and they will always say stupid shit like “Can’t you stop being Bipolar? Why are you getting so upset? Did you take your meds?” ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is what I look like right about now. I guess no matter how prepared you are, you’re never really prepared “enough”. trying to get last minutes stuff done and the 5 year old has lost her mp3 player and is in a tizzy about it. The boys are one helping her look for it. Prior to this, I had to take my Ativan because I was having chest pains (stress induced I’m pretty positive). Dropped the husband off to get the rental and came back home because there were several people in front of him (no, we couldn’t go when they opened, that would make WAY TOO MUCH SENSE!)
So, now I gotta finish getting ready and find that damn mp3 player that is lost…. FML…. this is vacation?
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Fancy filters, special effects, and tricky techniques are all in order for this week’s photo challenge, dreaming. I’m going in …
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